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AIBU?

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To have stood my ground with SIL

133 replies

bagpuss90 · 19/10/2024 10:32

SIL is known for being quite pushy . I think I’ve posted about her on here before. She called me last night to ask if her son could borrow some camping gear from me (I’ve got loads of camping stuff) for an indoor activity with his cubs. I said yeh no problem . She asked if she could pick it up last night- I said no because I was getting ready to go out and didn’t have the time to sort it out. I said I’d do it over this weekend. I wrote it in my to do list. He doesn’t need the stuff til next weekend. Anyway 20 minutes later SIL was on my doorstep asking to pick the stuff up as she thought I’d forget and no I don’t have form for being forgetful. I had a cab picking me up in 15 minutes and I wasn’t quite ready . I probably was a bit short with her - telling her I’d already said I hadn’t got the time last night. She stomped off and messaged my DP (who was also out last night) to say how petty she thought I was being. I wasn’t being petty- the stuff is packed in the garage and I simply did not have the time to sort it . Was also dressed to go out and didn’t want to be raking about in a dusty garage. I’ve had a sarcastic message this morning from her .

OP posts:
bagpuss90 · 19/10/2024 10:40

I might add I even said I’d drop the stuff off

OP posts:
NinaPersson · 19/10/2024 10:39

No you weren’t petty.

Show her what petty is by refusing to let her borrow it now. Ignore the sarcasm. You don’t have time for rude sarcastic controlling people

Timeforabiscuit · 19/10/2024 10:38

Absolutely not being unreasonable - who the hell does she think she is! I'd be tempted to message

"Sil, I told you I was getting ready to go out and instead you ignored me, and interrupted my evening anyway. I find this incredibly rude and disrespectful and expect an apology not sarcasm."

Why on earth was it so urgent? Does she have a problem with the word no more generally, if so id be using it far more regularly so she gets used to it.

Dontbeme · 19/10/2024 10:38

I wouldn't lend her anything, first off for being rude and showing up as your heading out for the evening. But what would really send me over the edge is her messaging your DP, it smacks of getting a man to put his little woman in her "place". I hope your DP backs you up OP.

Octonaut4Life · 19/10/2024 10:36

She's being incredibly rude and I wouldn't be lending her anything without an apology and a recognition that her behavior was inappropriate.

Shoxfordian · 19/10/2024 10:35

Tell her she can sort it out herself as she's been so rude and you're not lending her it now

WindyRiver · 19/10/2024 10:34

You told her you'd do it later. It was rude of her to show up. I hope your DP backs you on this.

roses2 · 19/10/2024 10:34

Be direct back and say you already said you need time to find the equipment and you’ve asked her to wait. You will let her know when it is ready which will be approx eg Sunday afternoon. Then ignore all contact until you’ve got it ready.

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