Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reality of having two children with this age gap? Is having two a breeze?

30 replies

Jkkk · 18/10/2024 21:49

Already have a 2 year old. Considering ttc to for second but wary… it is lots more work? Is it similar? More challenges or less because they play together etc? At the moment I have lots of spare time as my in laws have my toddler a lot and guess I’m worried it might be a big step up for me to manage two/ever have alone time!

OP posts:
Usedtobeslummy · 18/10/2024 22:00

It's much harder than one. That's not a reason not to do it. I don't regret having two. But I think two forces you into a different style of parenting ie I used to be able to go for lunches, tag teaming looking after the kids whereas now I feel firmly in parent zone all the time.
On the plus side you wonder how you ever found it hard with just one!
It just depends if you want another. You'll cope! And seeing them play and love each other is very cute.

NuffSaidSam · 18/10/2024 21:58

It's definitely not a breeze.

It's is much more work.

But it's also completely doable as evidenced by all the people who have done it/are doing it.

TeamPlaying · 18/10/2024 21:56

When I was pregnant with my second a close family member said “congratulations, it’s horrendous for the first couple of years but then it gets good.” Not the best time to say it, but with hindsight they were correct! I found 1-2 harder than 0-1. Total shitshow for the first couple of years. Sorry, that may not be what you wanted to hear!

Now mine are 7 and 4 and while we do have some issues with jealously and rivalry, they are also great friends and love being together.

Strictlymad · 18/10/2024 21:56

Everyone is different- you will get a range of replies. I found having second as newborn easy, once on the move/napping less but still baby/under two really hard I can’t lie. Now coming up 2.5 beginning to play with sibling (age 6) I feel like I’m emerging from the trenches but that middle bit- 9 months to 2 ish almost finished me off 🫠

Posithor · 18/10/2024 21:53

It's great sometimes.
It's hard other times.
Totally depends on your kids.
I'm pregnant with a third so it hasn't put me off entirely ha