School harassing us over attendance...

I was pursued by the EWO and LA re two of my dc - not at the same time.

The first one had OCD, the second had bad hormonal issues and an element of anxiety / school refusal.

In both cases I got a warning (which is the minimum outcome in all cases) as they realised that the issues were genuine and I was trying to get them to school / make sure they got there on time.

Nothing on my record or my dc’s.

It was stressful though, especially the first time round.

In your position OP I would formally complain to the governing body and change schools.

Move schools - this one is mental.
they are attendance officers not the gestapo.
I would also put in a compliant and raise with parents and governors meeting. This is a disgrace.

It sounds like they are findng the sickness level unusual. If the gps are asking you if your okay ask them why. I did have a friend go through something similar but i dont actually know, it was very serious escaleted to a section 37 36 or something. I dont know how ut was resolved do know she got a lot better.

They certainly didn't at my sons school.. we called up with chickenpox and was told "yes it's going around, he'll need to be off the rest of the week" I sent him back a week later 🤷‍♀️ still with the odd mark on his face

Totally normal for tonsillitis, sadly. I had it repeatedly as a kid before they whipped them out. Had to spit into a bowl.

Obviously the concern is whether your DD is really ill or that you are making this up and instead there are issues at home. When tragedies happen one of first q is why did no one notice, the school are taking their safe guarding seriously as they should.

The UK must have seriously bad attendance issues at school. Australian here and its nothing like this!

It sounds like the school are under pressure and have certain targets to meet wrt attendance. An absolute nightmare for you though no doubt as your priority and focus is your child's health! Can you give the school a doctor's note about your daughter's chicken pox to confirm that she needs this time off? Where I live (not UK based) it's compulsory to provide a doctor's note, even if it's for a trifling cold!

Your msg should have been " how lucky you are to have a DH with such lovely manners - he has clearly passed them on as Lottie was a delight!
Never speak to her again.
If you want to go really hardarse then just send" I can tell your DH has wonderful manners". Leave her wondering.

I was nearly driven to suicide after a period of disabled dc being very ill.

The sleep deprivation didn't help, but the relentless harassment from a school I previously had a good relationship with was the main pressure at that point.

I find it bizarre that anyone would think that education comes before a child's health. An ill child can't perform at school properly, they need to stop pestering you.

I’ve had tonsillitis to that extreme extent too. Spitting, in agony, unable to swallow at all without huge distress. Strong painkillers didn’t touch the sides. It was almost 20 years ago and still makes me shudder to recall. In retrospect I ought to be have been in hospital.

Tonsillitis can be mild or moderate, but it’s not that uncommon for it to turn really bad.

Yes as adults/older people, we know the difference between not being able to swallow and it being painful to swallow. But children with tonsillitis will often be fearful of swallowing even if they 'physically' or 'technically' can which will lead to them saying they can't swallow or refusing if they don't have the verbal skills to say what's going on. Not uncommon at all for children to be hospitalised with dehydration due to tonsillitis.

OP, if you feel your relationship with this school has broken down - no trust on either side - then I’d seriously look at moving schools and having a fresh start. Your DD is still young and a move now will be less stressful than later on.

It’s awful but sadly not new. Years ago my friend’s daughter was in hospital and school were harassing her to get back in (primary age 7). She ended up saying, sure, if you can accommodate her needs I’ll send her in. The head teacher then asked what the needs were… a life support machine and round the clock nursing with access to a resus team! The head knew she was in icu, did she think she was there for fun?! It made me so cross that the parents had enough going on without school harassing her. She had to provide a doctors letter (fine, easy enough) AND photographic evidence she was on life support!

😂

I agree, there is a distinct whiff of disability discrimination in aggressively targeting attendance even in the face of strong evidence of genuine illness. It's effectively saying it isn't OK to be unwell.

Also, NHS waiting lists are so long now, many children will be managing conditions over significant time periods while waiting to see consultants to get treatment for issues that might cause recurrent absence eg. ear infections, tonsillitis, coeliacs etc etc.

And from a safeguarding perspective, if you are wasting time chasing up a child with active (confirmed) chickenpox, that's time you don't have to spend on another child who might have genuine safeguarding issues.

your poorly child is not a safeguarding concern, anyone in their right mind would know this

How many days has she had off last year and how many days this year?

Who is leading the harrassment ? Write a factual formal complaint to the head, then if the response is unsatisfactory write a factual formal complaint to the governors and LA. You are essentially being harrassed despite your child being hospital bound, infectious, ill. No adult would be treated like this in the workplace, they would be signed off and contact would be off limits. The school is damaging their relationship with you through lack of trust and inferring an issue exists where it doesn’t. They have overstepped by approaching your GP. Their method of haranguing parents highlights that the school priorities attendance statistics above child well being.

This is utterly ridiculous. I'm not in the UK, but I can't believe they came to your house, that would never happen here.

With all those bouts of illness, it wouldn't hurt her to have a break at home to regain strength after being sick.

Re safeguarding. The murdered children we are hearing about weren’t just frequently absent. They were attending school with injuries. Many of them known to social services. Their families reported by friends, family and neighbours. School attendance is one aspect of a much larger picture of institutional failure.
Some of it is about safeguarding but mostly its box ticking. How is a child at risk when they are in hospital?

SS won't touch this with much of a barge pole. They have so much to deal with that they can't resource, they'd close this case within 5 minutes.

You're missing the point.

They are only using 'safeguarding visits' as a way to gain entry so they can present the OP with attendance letters. It's attendance figures they're bothered about. There doesn't appear to be any legitimate safeguarding concerns here, if there were then I'm sure the multiple GP's her DD has seen would make referrals themselves.