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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I am a narcissist?

31 replies

EducateMe101 · 18/10/2024 21:18

Hi,
my ex recently called me a narcissist so now wondering if I am. I admit I can be quite hot and cold with my feelings and change my mind off and on depending on my feelings (fully aware I am very emotionally stupid) but I love, a lot and I feel enormous amounts of guilt/shame/regret. I love to help people and do nice things for people. I do loose my cool I suppose but am I not just human? I took “am I a narcissist” tests online however it comes back I am not a narcissist.
I don’t feel I am superior and actually I’d put others before myself usually.
the way he has worded it though he actually is making me believe I’m a narcissist? As I say I do know I have deep rooted issues of my own but I really don’t know how if I am a narcissist? Could I be? Honest options please

OP posts:
Anonym00se · 18/10/2024 21:25

Why are you giving so much weight to a nasty comment said by an ex? You’re obviously not a narcissist. Just forget about what he said!

WigglyVonWaggly · 18/10/2024 21:25

Nobody on here can answer this without knowing you! Does he even know the correct definition of a narcissist? It’s not the same as selfish, or vain or thoughtless.

EducateMe101 · 18/10/2024 21:24

DizzyDandilion · 18/10/2024 21:23

Maybe he is the narcissist gaslighting you?
I think the fact you are so concerned probably means you are not.
We all have flaws (reflecting on my own interactions today and going to try and do better towards others next week).

Thank you. That’s a lovely mindset to have and I wish you the best of luck! The world needs more people with your mindset x

OP posts:
EducateMe101 · 18/10/2024 21:23

I’m not sure I just feel a bit confused. I feel like… can I do all of this but be kidding myself and actually be one? My heads a little scrammed to be honest.

OP posts:
DizzyDandilion · 18/10/2024 21:23

Maybe he is the narcissist gaslighting you?
I think the fact you are so concerned probably means you are not.
We all have flaws (reflecting on my own interactions today and going to try and do better towards others next week).

OhBumBags · 18/10/2024 21:22

You've given a full description of someone who isn't a narcissist and you've taken online tests that tell you you're not a narcissist.

I'm not sure what anyone here can do for you?