Friend catfishing neighbour on Insta - tell him?

@Summertimer How many people need to tell you that your post came across as victim blaming until you acknowledge it? Because I'm another who read it as exactly that.

Searched for him and sent him a DM presumably.

Yes I too find it weird she found and targeted the neighbour. How?!

I wouldn't want a friend like that

Tell him, he might develop feelings for her have you seen the show Catfish? Some people get really deeply involved with these people! A friend did it to me pretended to be a young guy and whilst I wasn't interested in him anyway, it was humiliating when I found out.

It is good that people call out victim blaming where they see it.

The psychology of victim blaming is simply explained here: www.verywellmind.com/why-do-people-blame-the-victim-2795911

Victim blaming occurs with all sorts of crimes and unpleasant incidents like bullying.

Victim blaming allows people to believe that such events could never happen to them.

Victom blaming is harmful to individuals because it shames them and is harmful to wider society because it deters people from seeking help.

YABU not to have nipped this in the bud already. How can you be friends with someone who thinks this is OK?

Report to Instagram
Mention to neighbour what your friend is doing (without saying you know it's him)
Dump mean friend

Yep, calling you out too. Definitely comes across as victim blaming.

Yup, this isn't just 'naughty' its fucking horrible.

And suggesting 'one would hope he has the sense to block', the poster implies that if he hasn't well he's brought it on himself/deserves it in some way, which absolutely is victim blaming.

You don't get away with it by implying it rather than saying it right out, and arguing the toss after the fact is just digging the hole deeper.

Count me in as seeing it as victim blaming to say he should have been able to tell it was a fake account, because it absolutely is. You then repeated that assertion a second time.
Saying somebody should have somehow known (via psychic powers, perhaps?) a person is a scammer is indeed blaming the person who is being scammed. That's the reality.
Regardless of what one thinks about that, you don't report people for having an opinion about your post that you don't like. It is not a violation of MN policy to have unflattering opinions about other people's posts. Are you new to the internet or something?

What a sadistic person! You should not be friends with someone who has this kind of character.

Calling it "naughty" makes it sound like she had an extra cocktail at dinner or something. This is cruel and could be considered bullying. I would tell him and I'd distance myself from her.

Your friend is a C U Next Tuesday.
nasty nasty nasty.

You really have to question the sort of values your friend has if this is what she does. It's really messed up, it's vicious, it's cruel and it tells you alot about her nature.

You need to question what she thinks of you - is this in any way respectful of you. You are the neighbour and you could really suffer some serious fall out with the neighbour if they discovered your friend was behind it without you telling them.

I'd had very firm words with this so called mate. She is trampling all over YOU in doing this. And yes tell the neighbour

In the bud. 🙂

And I agree, that's a really nasty thing to do.

What she's doing is nasty and cruel, not naughty. She's not a child playing a prank, she's an adult purposefully setting out to harm someone emotionally and mentally. This says a lot aboit her. II would tell him and she would no longer be my friend.

She's not a friend, she's a nasty and vindictive piece of work. Tell the neighbour and rethink having her in your friends circle. If she's someone who finds it 'funny' to deceive and humiliate others, she's not someone worth being friends with

I think the OPs watched Netflix new programme Sweet Bobby. But if this is genuine then she should watch it with her friend to see how it ruins peoples lives.

Anyone else think this is another thread where the OP won’t be back? 🤔

She sounds like her morals are pretty wobbly op and I wouldn't associate with her tbh. It's not naughty, it's manipulative and cruel. I would try to find the account online and report it as a fake account. Watch to see if it gets taken down. I'd tell her I think it's a shitty thing to do to someone and she should delete the account. I would try to convince her to stop and why rather than tell him and embarrass him unless she refuses. Tbh if she can't see what's wrong with this and is insisting to continue then I'd be done with the friendship anyway.

How horrible, you should tell him. You wouldn't like it done to you, and someone knowing about it!

but I’d hope he has the sense to block those sort of accounts

Not really different words are they?

Irrespective of that, you are very clearly blaming him, the victim, for not having the sense to block the account.

And I stand by it.

You were victim blaming and it's gross. Now you've been called out, you're acting offended and like you couldn't possibly have meant it that way.

Ridiculous