AIBU to ask a friend not to cook if she's coming over?

It would honestly never occur to me to go to somebody else's house and cook a dinner there. Maybe I'm very sheltered but I find this really odd and would hate somebody to come and do it at my house!

This sounds awful. I get annoyed when my parents make cups of tea/coffee in my house and spill all over the side, sprinkle sugar, leave spoons. .

You've said more than once OP that you 'can't be bothered this weekend' then, to me, it doesn't sound such a problem after all ( except to 90+ or more % of PPs on here)!

So, if it's just this wknd, surely "Bella" shouldn't mind going along with your suggestions of take-away this weekend after your recent deep cleaning efforts?
Not sure now that I get what you're really getting at here....

Thanks for the offer Bella but I'm really craving <Insert food here> so let's get take away/already got the bits in.

No way I'd let a friend cook in my kitchen.

I'd go with "the kitchen's closed". Who wants a messy cook crashing about in here after you've done the deep clean?

YANBU. Bella is being a bore.

@AutumnLeaves24

Sister? Do you know something we don't?

If she made Hunters Chicken (cheesy, baked) rather than Chicken Chasseur (faff with a mushroom sauce) no reason for that much mess.

Maybe get in an Old El Paso kit for next time? A themed evening and also go out Latin dancing and make sure she changes partners a lot?

I mean, fried fish is hardly haute cuisine is it? also as much as I love fish, it stinks to high heaven - no wonder she wants to use your kitchen.

DONT back down, she's being really out of line getting annoyed when its YOUR bloody kitchen.

for me it depends on which friend!! & why.

Does she acknowledge that she enjoys using your kitchen or does she totally think she's doing you a favour?

If it was a friend who acknowledged she just liked using my kitchen I'd let her at it, but she can bring whatever she wants to cook/eat in addition to the basic supplies I have in. I'm not going to be shopping/paying for it.

im fine with sorting my own food out or ordering in a takeaway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also they'd need to be pretty self sufficient, not continually asking where x is.

ignore your sister! Whether you're a grumpy hit or not is actually irrelevant. It's. YOUR house, your evening... you don't have to be 'nice' 🤷🏻‍♀️

Would you not usually cook at the weekend?

Why do you spend all weekend cleaning if she cooks once?

Either way I wouldn't get keen on her cooking st mine. You haven't said if you enjoy her food?

Nope. God I would HATE this. But you’ve created the precedent…

However YANBU because she’s being mardy about you saying no. She’s getting arsey and controlling over what goes on in someone else’s house and that is not cool. Stick to your guns. You’re entitled to feel the way you feel.

No way, not rude at all! I think Bella needs to develop some self awareness. My partner is a messy cook, and he does exactly what you've described 🤣, the kitchen looks a shit tip 😂. If she can't accept that you just want takeaway and relax, then ask her to cook at her place instead? Just keep repeating what you've said until she gets it.

Why do you feel snubbed? What has she said?

I think it's enough just to tell her that although you enjoy the meals she cooks, you don't want her to cook at your house.

haha this. Bella is being a cheeky bitch.

I hate people cooking in my kitchen for the same reasons as you. She has no right to get arsey just because you dont want a mess in your kitchen.

If she loves cooking so much she can join a cooking class. No way would I be giving in here- she is the unreasonable one

Is this a new thing offering to cook in someone's home?
None of my friends have ever suggested it nor would I in their home.
You are perfectly in your right to say no if she doesn't like it she can cook in her own house

@verityeer

You say it's a bit of a faff, so just say to her it's a bit of a faff and be done with it.

I am a bit curious why you couldn't turn on the extractor fan or open a window, were you barred from the kitchen whilst she cooked?

YANBU, at all.

I've never heard of this strange arrangement either tbh.

The usual arrangements are: if you're invited round to eat a communal meal ( that's if there's more than one friend) everyone brings a pre-made dish to the table.

The host provides the table, and all dishes of course, and also makes something, a small dessert, coffee/tea etc.

Everyone enjoys a diverse meal, everyone takes their own dishes home if not recyclable, and everyone happy, especially the host.

I would say if "Bella" feels the need to make a meal she's proud of to treat you at your home, she do the cooking at home as well.

You'd have to be very close friends, or family, to put up with having to clean your kitchen each time.

If you were that close though, you'd also feel more comfortable with telling them to please eave the kitchen as they found it.

dreaming of spaghetti aglio olio and chocolate mousse

If she's a really good friend, could you go out for a walk and pub dinner along with at least one eligible bachelor friend who happens to be around? And one or two other people. I recently met an Eligible Bachelor but probably not in the right location for you/her.

Bella has no manners.