To think MN is horrible about blended families?

Agree OP

I hate the phrase blended family anyway

People have remarried and had step parents for hundreds of years. These days its about divorce and separation, in the old days it was through death, either way lots of children throughout history have had step parents

Yes divorce puts a different spin on it due to possibility of acrimony and the logistics of having all your parents around still (possibly) but not every single thing in a family has to be done with the child at the forefront.

Adults have relationships and sometimes life moves on, protect the children as best you can from any falling out but in essence a new family/step family can work positively.

Just like a birth family can work negatively.

If everything was tickety boo in the blended family set-up, they wouldn’t probably be posting on mn.

As a child and adult, my parents (divorced) relationships have done nothing to make my life better- although I love my siblings from parents second marriage. But also all that’s meant is less support as a child and adult for me in various ways- especially now I’m a parent including their involvement as a grandparent, time, financially. The parent who is single and didn’t have extra siblings is much more involved with me and shared parents siblings as they can be. As a child it caused nothing but heartache 🤷‍♀️

Most of the blended families written about on here are absolute shit shows, it's not hard to work out why people don't like the idea.

Bloody hate the term "blended families" you're just a family!

There are just too many examples of children who’ve been forced to put up with a new man moving into their home and having to get on with his children “because we’re all a family now”; or being sidelined by their step-parent once a new half sibling is born who said step-parent naturally loves and looks out for far more than their step-children.

The parents will pretty much always say that everyone loves each other when the reality is the children don’t have much option but to put up and shut up.

I've certainly heard the theory that one reason divorce has been low for years, compared its peak in 1993, is that it's the children of those divorces choosing not to do that with their own families.

I know quite a few people who talking glowingly about their step parents /step siblings as adults. And in some cases see a step parent as more their parent than a biological parent.

Like you say op, "birth" families can be grim. It's not a binary.

I agree. I think it's rare for a blended family to be in the interest of the children involved.

Ask your children what they really thought when they are in their 20’s. It might not be such a rosy picture for them.

Blended families are almost always horrible for children which the parents wilfully ignore for the sake of their convenience.

I know a few blended families and the mums always say how happy they are and how well the kids get on, but I hear very different stories from the kids via my son.

I think each person is talking with their own situations and experiences behind their opinions. Normally it's a case of women being left with the grunt work of being expected to do the running around after all the kids, which obviously causes extreme resentment.

My mum would have said that my life was better with the addition of a step parent and step siblings too, but she was wrong.

Blended families are very rarely in the best interests of children, they can cause a lot of difficulty and heartache and they often exist because parents put their need for a live in relationship ahead of their children’s needs.

I know some blended families are genuinely happy and successful but it is rare. Usually the parents project the idea that everyone is happy because it suits them to believe that, but in reality the children would rather just live with their biological family.