Ghost or be brutally honest?

Does she like him?

My DH didn't have a light bulb in the bathroom or a toilet seat - next time i went round i brought him both, then next time i sent him out and cleaned and told him if i went round again and it was back in its original state i wouldn't be going back. Turns out he is cleaner than me and just needed it bottoming it to stay on top of it.

😂😂😂

Hasn't done anything wrong? Have to disagree with you here. If i have guests around a) i look presentable and b) my apartment is spotless.

I absolutely expect the same from anyone else. I consider it to be good manners to care about the comfort of guests, and given that this was so early on in the dating process - if this is the best this chap can do, it would be a hard no from me. He basically wants a wet dick without having to make any effort.

Besides which, it sounds like it would be a cheese dick if the unsanitary home conditions are anything to go by. 🤮

This reminds me of that episode of Friends. Can't remember how it ended but if you look it up OP it might have a way to handle it? Or maybe Ross (pretty sure it was Ross??) ran out of there screaming, I really can't remember! 🤣

Note to self: It's finally time to re-watch Friends again.

Exactly this. Some people aren’t compatible or have different standards. Personally I’d not feel like trying to make someone feel really low and shit about himself just because we were different types of people. Okay, he didn’t clean the bathroom well and didn’t have a hand soap. He made a shit joke (a lot of people do when nervous). He used a wine bottle as a rolling pin (so what?!). He didn’t feel he needed to wear a tuxedo to make pizza in his own home. None of these would make me ‘too angry to think straight’ or make me want to be cruel to him. I’d just let him know I didn’t feel a spark or feel we were compatible. But then I’m not a bully and don’t want to punish everyone who disappoints me 🤷‍♀️

It doesn't sound too terrible to me...he was wearing casual clothes because he's at home, it would be weird to dress up to the nines for a night in. He had a rolling pin type implement, he wasn't going to flatten the pizza by walking on it with his bare feet! Bathroom sounds a bit manky but nothing that couldn't have been pointed out jokingly "that bathrooms' seen better days" " you could have rolled the red carpet out and bought some handwash" etc. Just goes to show we're all different. I don't get why she's so incredibly angry though, people seem to get outraged so easily these days.

It was a third date. They're not compatible. This is why people date. The degree of anger is a bit bizarre. People talking about a projected future living together on a third date is a bit bonkers.

C'mon people - this thread's a wind up

Thank god he didn't get his wand out to try and conjure up the magic 😂

If your friend is so angry she can't think straight because a chap was wearing joggers in his own house, doesn't use a rolling pin to make pizza dough and is a bit lacking in soap I'd suggest she makes use of a therapist.

If her default options are really cruel thing 1 or cruel thing 2 she should be on her own and work on herself before entertaining the idea of dating because id bet my life that she'd be incandescent with rage if a man did either of those things to her as opposed to a polite not feeling it, all the best type of thing.

Does It really matter what she does? She’s decided she doesn’t want to see him again. It’s almost as if this thread is completely pointless.

Answering for a friend …

Third date at his place because he thinks women have a three date rule before they put out . He didn't even have the manners to clean up his flat and make the effort to look good . He's got a nerve . I would just text and say I don't think we are compatible , wish him well and block .

I'm old, but what's scaring me the most is going round to a strangers flat when you'd only seen them twice!

I've often used a wine bottle as a rolling pin 😂👌🏻

The rest...no need to be cruel is there really? 🤷‍♀️

Does the dude have a proper pizza over or not?

Why is she angry? He's not her type so she just needs to move on. I don't get why you would be angry about it.

Neither.

He was comfortable in his own home and doesn’t own a rolling pin.

She didn’t see any handwash but doesn’t mean there isn’t any.

His hygiene isn’t up to her standards - fine.

She doesn’t need to be a bitch about his dress sense or the fact he doesn’t own a rolling pin.

Its very immature for either of you to even consider ghosting and I’m wondering if you are actually as old as you say you are.

All she has to do is tell him that she doesn’t want to see him again and wish him luck for the future.

Your friend needs to set her bar higher. No matter how frustrated, fed up. It’s always best to jump over a high bar, than limbo under one. That’s where the dross lurk.

You're essentially asking us if she should shame or ignore him. Neither are called for here.

Flap your hands and go 'eeewwwwww' at one another. There's no need to detail it to the man concerned.

Fuck all wrong with using a wine bottle as a rolling pin.

There is absolutely no way I would go to a mans house after 3 dates. He's by all accounts still a stranger so anything could be expected. Your friend was fortunate this man didn't demand the 'magic'

This is true! Good god DH’s car the first time he picked me up in it, Jesus H Christ. I said if you ever come round with a car this dirty again I’m not getting in it 🤣 he apologised and it was spotless after that.
I really, really liked him though (hence him now being DH I guess haha). The fact I got in that car on that date still amazes me now 🤣

Too angry to think straight!??
Bahaha I've heard it all. I don't want to see her if she's genuinely been wronged

Good grief- do people have zero social skills any more?

Why all the drama of ghosting or being monumentally rude to him? why cant she just tell him they arent compatible and its not going to work out and wish him well?

BTW "where the magic happens" is a line from MTV Cribs and its what all the celebs say when the camera man gets to their bedroom - I imagine he said it in an ironic way as its said in Cribs, not in a deadly serious way 😆

‘I’m not interested in taking this any further, bye’

No drama needed.

I’ve used a tin of beans as a rolling pin, next time I’ll try a wine bottle 😂