Ghost or be brutally honest?

Exactly. Why not just say. Chemistry isn't right.

My god, the drama over someone you've had 3 dates with 🤦‍♀️ it's 3 dates, she could just say she doesn't want to see him again, end of.

I wouldn't tell them I don't want to see them because they are dirty but I just would say I don't feel I want to progress this any further, not feeling it, it not a lie as she has the ick. Ghosting is mean, I would only do this if they were not taking no for an answer.

Er . . . did she, I wonder, spend any time in that magical room with his unwashed hands (and his unwashed bits and pieces)? Did she eat any of the pizza?

I've never used a rolling pin when making pizza. It pushes all the air out of the dough and you will end up with flat, dull crust. To even see that as a point is weird.

Was the bathroom filthy, or was it just she couldn't find handwash?

Yes, also, nobody is forcing her to be attracted to him.

But how he chooses to keep his house is not an personal insult to her. It's just how he chooses to keep his house. If she finds that a turn off, so be it. Nobody is forcing her to live there, date him, marry him, or indeed ever enter his house again.

She can just accept that this man isn't the one for her and keep looking without making a big drama about it.

She can just tell him she's moving to Yemen for work.

He can contact her at: 10 Yemen Road, Yemen.

God when I met my husband he was living in a house share in his late 20s that was basically a squat. It had mould, the bathroom was revolting and the electricity would frequently go off as his housemates didn’t top up the meter.

I really liked him though so it didn’t bother me at all and is no reflection of him as a person or his cleanliness.

I’m also a wine bottle as a rolling pin fan!

Too angry to think straight? Blimey, that’s a big impact after 3 dates.

I don't ghost as a rule, as I'm better than that. The exception, of course, would be if someone was particularly weird or rude.
It's best just to be honest or give a 'thanks but no thanks' excuse.
Ghosting is for cowards.

Ghosting is cruel. It plays with a persons mental health

Just tell him 'I think we would be better as friends'

'I do not wish to see you anymore'
'I am moving to Afghanistan'

Just say something, doesnt have to be the truth

This is the first time a man's house has been actively dirty. I do think most people expect an effort in the beginning, especially when he was so clearly hoping for a shag.

Perhaps she needs to stop going to random men’s houses then.

It’s obviously not working out for her very well is it.

Perhaps if she wants them to make an effort and not just invite her around for a shag, she should meet someone other than their home.

She has every right to be turned off if his place is not clean

It’s not a lie to say there’s no chemistry though is it?

How he keeps is house is his business. She isn't being asked to live in it.

She just says she is not feelng it and ends the relationship. No big deal.

On serious note, OLD can be very difficult to navigate and unpleasant at times. Ghosting is one of the behaviours that makes it unpleasant - as can unkind parting shots. Let's not encourage or perpetuate this.

Hello. I think maybe your friend’s reaction is perhaps more her disappointment that he is not who she wants him to be. Otherwise it is a bit disproportionate to get so upset and think the only available options are unkind ones. It sounds like she felt like he didn’t make an effort and that she found his place unclean. This means he’s not for her, but not that there needs to be a big statement to deliberately hurt him for not having been as she wanted. Just draw a line under it saying it’s been great to meet you but I don’t think we quite hit it off, all the best or something.

I don’t think she needs to offer more explanation that she doesn’t think they’re compatible (which isn’t a lie). Nobody expects a Tripadvisor review after 3 dates 😂

Why on earth are some pps advocating blocking? This guy is simply giving OP the ick, blocking would be childish and excessive in this scenario. That said, ghosting is unkind as well. What's wrong with OP just telling the guy this isn't working out for her?

Joking aside, my own opinion is that she should just say "sorry I don't fancy another date" with no detailed explanation because telling him off about it is high conflict and plays into the fact he's a manchild who wants a woman to be his mum and look after him, and it might make him cling on to her which will be hard to turn down if there's still chemistry even after hearing the words "this is where the magic happens". 🤢

I don’t know why women feel like they have to tip-toe around mens’ feelings, especially those, like your friend’s date, that couldn’t give a flying fuck about hers. Not exactly a sensitive flower is he? With his crusty hygiene and laissez faire attitude to her efforts. Nah fuck him. Go full brutal and tell him it is a gift of ‘useful feedback’ for the benefit of his own self improvement.

For the sake of womankind, for God's sake tell him why she's not interested. A hint about his Cruddy bathroom and zero effort might spur him into higher standards for the next unfortunate woman he sweet-talks!