Would this put you off someone?

Booty call!

id just block him.

Yes.
You didn't immediately respond omg you poor thing. Come to me now with your suitcase. You can move in and fuck me and I'll take care of your children for you.
So he's probably put a line through your name and moved on to the next name on his list of potential cocklodger friendly accommodation.

And this is why it's done?

Your bar is low. You need to work on your self esteem.

I can’t imagine a woman leaves her children’s dad when they are 8 months old without good reason - that alone would be a red flag for me. & no before anyone asks I wouldn’t judge a single mother of an 8 month old the same, because she would rarely be lightning her parental load by divorcing rather increasing it!

Also twin mum here too

Do a clares law request on him before he is aloud round. You have no idea what he could have done in the last 6 years

@Fe13 run for the hills! I am a twin mum and the best piece of advice we received during the utterly relentless and soul breaking first year was ‘don’t make any decisions about your relationship until they’re at least 1’…because it’s so fucking hard and we’d all be single parents otherwise!!!

He’s in a world of pain, possibly likely to rekindle with the twins mother, and its mess you don’t need to get involved in.

That wouldn't put me off particularly - I'd read it as him offering an alternative way you could meet up if you can't get childcare.

However what I would have my suspensions about is an ex with very young baby twins getting in contact. There's high potential for this to be about getting help with the babies rather than specifically wanting a relationship with you. Particularly as he's already dropped a message about how hard it is with 2!

At what age do his twins need to be before he’s allowed to date again?

This. He didn't even offer to have you over his. I think it's rude to just invite yourself over anyway - presumably he can't be arsed cooking or tidying his own place up, so you can play hostess.

I wouldn’t like that, it’s too forward and presumptuous with coming to your safe space and with the winky face, it would put me on off

I have to be blunt. What the hell are you thinking even entertaining this??

This is a guy you haven't seen in 6 YEARS asking to come over for a shag. No, its not a date. Eliminate that possibility. He is trying his luck.

If that's what you want, cool. BUT, please consider things are now not the same and you have a 3yr old in the house! Does you really know this man well enough to let him in your house, realistically overnight, around your kid? Happy for your child to see this 100% stranger at breakfast time? What is he refuses to leave? What if he pressures you into something? Sorry, but this is highly irresponsible IMO. You don't know him well enough (anymore) to know what his prerogative is here.

INSIST on a number of dates first, I beg you, and only think about having him in yours and your child's home environment much further down the line.

i thought it was just a meal/takeaway
some of you run away with yourselves imo

There are indeed.
What has this man done to indicate he's become one of these men in the past 5 years, in the time that has passed since it sounds like op knew him well and spent a lot of time with him? I assume he didn't try to move into her house back then, or do anything else untoward since she seems open to seeing him again.

There are also a lot of completely normal men who don't scrutinise their messages and run them through a Mumsnet batshittery filter before sending them.
Again. What has he actually said that indicates anything more than a desire to reconnect?

So he "turned a bit sour" when you ended it, and is now looking for sex, childcare AND a place to live. Fucking hell OP, don't even entertain shit like this.

You realise there are men out there who are just after sex with minimal effort? Men that look for a woman to help him with childcare? These men are not incredibly rare, they’re out there, so his behaviour could be an indication that he is one of these men. It is not unreasonable to consider this.

Block him.

He either wants a quick fuck or a roof over his head, maid service and someone to take care of his twins.

Classic hobosexual tactic.
No man falls in love as fast as one who needs somewhere to live.

There's some kind of accommodation emergency - such as landlord wanting to evict them, needs to move out of parents, arguments with flatmates.
They then apply emotional pressure on whatever woman they happen to be seeing at the time (preferably one with their own home) and claim it'll only be for a couple of months until they find somewhere else. Then they are in and it's very difficult to shift them.
Often there follows an employment emergency such as work colleagues or manager bullying them, made redundant, quits job because they can't stand it any more etc. Then you have a full-on cocklodger living with you.

Add on the twins who need somewhere to live with him for half a week and him finding it difficult to manage them and then you start to see a picture of what his possible intentions are trying to hook up with someone he was with 5-6 years ago and split up with.

I don't care if some people on here think "poor man" and so on and so forth and there aren't any red flags. More fool you if you'd put up with this sort of thing. It's not just about that one date where he wanted to go round to hers for movie night and a takeaway and a shag rather than going out somewhere.

The OP needs to look at the bigger picture here. And also ask herself why she thinks this can work with 3 children in the mix when it didn't even work before any of these children were born.

No I wouldn’t like that at all. He’s trying to suss if he can get laid. Trashy move on his part.

You don’t invite yourself over to someone’s house in the early stages of dating. It’s so presumptuous and disrespectful. I’d lose interest if a guy did this to me.

Literally anything could be a red flag to someone who had a bad experience.
Someone you have known for years suggesting takeaway as an option instead of going out is incredibly normal.
People use winking smileys all the time.
Moving house is not weird. He hasn't said anything that we know of to indicate anything other than that he is house hunting. That is a normal thing to speak about.
He said twins are hard. That is also a normal thing to say.

What has he done that indicates in ops situation that he has any sinister intent at all? It sounds like he's keen to reconnect and see how things go.

They may not be red flags to you, but to others, with different experiences, they may well be.

The winking face would make me think he's looking for more than a chat and a catch up!
Also, baby twins and comments about how hard two babies are compared to one. I'd think he's looking for someone to lighten his load and sex on tap to boot! Stay as friends would be my advice.

Wouldn't most people be disappointed if they thought things were going well and the other person called it off with vague reasons? I'd probably come across as a bit sour if I thought things were great (op said they got on well and were having fun) and then was told 'no this isn't working'

Op seemed pleased so hear from him so no, not weird? As above, it's not like he just turned up on her doorstep, they've started chatting and are getting on well and op was happy at the suggestion of a date. He suggested takeaway and I'm a bit confused that op didn't just say 'nah let's go out', that's what I do if I have a preference on plans with anyone.

Yeah, she knows him and has every right to do what she thinks is right for her.
"Poor bloke" was my response to all the randoms on the internet judging him for suggesting takeaway as an option, moving house and having broken up with the mother of his children. None of those things are red flags! You're all piling on like he turned up with kids and bags and expected her to take them in, then hopped into her bed uninvited and ate all her favourite biscuits.