Bit of background. I was in an emotionally (occasionally physically) abusive relationship for years, and finally ended it after he assaulted me, causing me to fracture my spine. I had counselling for trauma and managed to break the cycle and subsequently met an extremely loving partner.
Roll forwards. I've been at my company for 20 years. Never had any issues whatsoever. This week, I had a Teams call with a colleague. She was extremely agitated and started the conversation with, 'Let me FINISH. I'm speaking' So I kept quiet and listened. After she'd finished, I started my explanation and was barely 3 sentences in when she said 'You're being very aggressive. You're being very accusatory. I don't like your tone of voice and I'm ending this now! and she disconnected the meeting.
I immediately called HR and explained what happened. HR had already been included in the emails relating to the original issue. HR was very understanding and lovely.
However, each time I've received an email from this woman since then, my anxiety has spiked. She stated in her email that I was unprofessional in the Teams call. I chose to ignore all personal remarks and have only answered her relating to the work issue, again with HR copied in.
The trouble is, I'm now suffering from PTSD flashbacks. Being told I'm abusive, a bully, aggressive, at fault...these are all things that were shouted at me, without my being able to answer back. As it wouldn't be professional to answer my colleague back either, I am experiencing similar trauma of being trapped without a voice.
My question is, AIBU to make a formal complaint especially as this would be my word against hers? The tone of emails is bad but probably not enough to prove her manner over Teams. She has been working with us since June and I'm not the only one she's done this with
The reason I'm hesitating is, am I blowing things out of proportion due to my own trauma? I'm sure lots of people have misunderstandings. Or am I making excuses for her unprofessional behaviour towards me, and once again shifting this blame onto myself?
What would you do?
(Please try and be kind because I'm not in a good place atm)