Work Issue - Should I make a formal complaint?

Good luck OP. She sounds like a nightmare, possibly just a hothead but it could be more sinister as it sounds like she was performing for an audience (colleagues sitting near her?)
Definitely don’t have another call unless it is recorded or you have another person on.
You did the right thing contacting HR and you can now (try to) relax.

You are not blowing it out of proportion to consider raising a complaint against her. She has acted in an unprofessional and unpleasant way and you have every right to complain formally. I also agree that if you do need to talk to her on teams you should record those calls.

Your PTSD is reacting disproportionately and causing you to be ill in a way that someone without PTSD would not be. But just because your reaction is (understandably) disproportionate, that doesn’t mean that her actions are ok, they’re not.

Also worth pointing out that HR are not the organisational police. Coping us into emails won’t achieve anything.

That's why I'm asking if I should report it. Is this being blown out of proportion by me, or if someone acted that way towards you - without trauma - would you make a complaint or let it go?
I'm so sorry to hear you have had to take a day off OP for this reason. I haven't suffered any major trauma in my life and i certainly would not tolerate this unprofessional and downright rude person. I would definitely put a complaint into HR. It seems you are not the only person and before too long, hopefully, they will be shown the door. Is this person new, do you have a probation period policy at your workplace? If so, I doubt she will make it. Good luck and, WWIW, I use rescue remedy at work when I am starting to feel a bit anxious (peri-menopausal!), calms me down (but obviously no remedy for PTSD).

@SkylarkKitten Yes regardless of this issue it’s important to ask for help if you are having flashbacks that get in the way of life, i’m there myself and in the process after referral.

Huh, what’s the issue?

where on earth do you get this from? It’s absolutely not true. My current employer has blocked the ability to record any meeting without express permission from our compliance team because of the nature of the business.

It's a mix
Honestly yes I imagine the vast majority of people without your trauma would just let it go, possibly mention it to hr and their manager as you have but wouldn't escalate it to a grievance.

But that doesn't mean that your response is blowing it out of proportion. Your response is valid.

Even if the majority of people that she might speak to in the way she spoke to you wouldn't be affected, some still could. Other staff, customers or stakeholders could all have their own backstory that she doesn't know. She can't carry on just talking to people like that.

The fact that so many other people have already had issues with her in such a short space of time indicates she's not the most professional.

A pp said they won't get rid of her just because of being rude on one teams call which usually maybe not but shes within the 2 year period where she can be let go with minimal reasons and already has a history of arguing and being rude to people - hr might be delighted to have another reason to get rid. Regardless that isn't your issue, all you can decide is whether to escalate it or not. Grievance procedures can be stressful - maybe think about what the best outcome for you would be and how to achieve it - not what would be the most punishing for her. E.g. if you can talk to your manager and agree no direct contact between her and you would that be a better resolution than going through an extended grievance procedure, likely finding no fault to answer or just a warning for her and then having to keep working with her being even more annoyed at you?

@SkylarkKitten so sorry you've been subjected to such appalling treatment by this dreadful colleague. My heart goes out to you, especially as it triggered your past abuse.

there has been many a time I've been interrupted and if I'm honest, with MS teams sometimes flakey and distorted, I may have unintentionally interrupted someone or accidentally "talked over them". It happened to me just yesterday (the sound quality was dreadful). The normal professional way of handling it is to quickly say "oops sorry if I talked over you there". Not shout and cut into someone and make them feel small.

So your colleague was completely out of order getting aggressive and belligerent with you, you must have been mortified.

I had a very similar altercation a few months ago when a very arrogant and misogynistic male colleague cut into me and told me to shut up, and that I didn't have a clue what I was talking about. Given that the point I was making was my specialism with a Post Grad to my name he was completely unjustified. He just looked like a complete dick, but the impact on me at the time was devastating.

The following day, I sent him an email marked Private and Confidential, in which I told him it was completely unacceptable to have been treated like that. I was also very specific how it made me feel (traumatised, belittled and humiliated in front of other colleagues). It was hard to put into words what a negative impact it had on me, I was literally shaking with the shock. It was cathartic to directly call them out on their bad behaviour, without having to face them in person.

He never ever mentioned my email, or the incident, nor has he ever apologised- I just think even less of him for that, what a coward to not even acknowledge his wrongdoing. The reality for me is that I took back the power and control, he knew I'd "marked his card" and it was a red card, one strike and he'd be out. His behaviour changed instantly. That was really all I needed, for him to not treat me disrespectfully ever again. Anything else wasn't really important, an apology would have meant nothing anyway, so I didn't hold out hope.

In short, taking it to HR won't really change anything. Addressing the matter directly with the perpetrator, is more empowering and satisfying, it challenges the person head-on and it basically tells them that you won't put up with them. That threat alone can very often be what it takes to stop them in their tracks.

This was unprofessional of your manager

Her behaviour is completely unacceptable.
The impact on you is huge.
I think you contact your manager and HR and ask them what they are going to do to protect you from her abusive behaviour and her false accusations.
In your place I would refuse to have any contact with her unless a 3rd party are there and everything is recorded.
You are entitled to a safe working environment and she makes you feel unsafe.

Contact ACAS today for advice.

Huh?

WhatsApp'd my line manager about it when he'd messaged about something else. He confirmed other people have refused to work with her and he's already had to have words with her

Your manager was giving you a hint that other people in your organisation find her behaviour so unacceptable they cannot work with her, so you need to refuse to work with her as well.

If you go to OH and then put in a grievance state clearly that you think the best thing is you don't work with her. Make it very clear that you had no issues before with any of your colleagues.

How do you usually deal with your PTSD? Are you on meds?

I mean if HR are having to copied in to emails between you I would be raising a formal grievance too. What are HR doing apart from monitoring the emails anyway? What a strange situation to be in I hope it resolves itself soon

I’ve requested my post was withdrawn because I felt like such a twit! Again, sorry @SkylarkKitten for not reading things properly x

Along with discussing the issues at work, please seek more therapy for PTSD. To stop the flashbacks the memory needs to be 'reprocessed' which isn't always done in counselling. Trauma focussed CBT or EMDR are the most effective therapies for this, both available in your local Talking Therapies service if you are in England or Wales.
Until the memory is reprocessed properly, there is always the risk of flashbacks reoccurring in 'matching trigger' situations, which is what sounds like has happened.
Sorry you are dealing with this.

Ask for a referral to OH, 2 pronged approach.

Their behaviour isn't ok, you have long term PTSD.

GP appointment and ask for a referral.

This is sound advice.

I think you should formalise it due to the harm that's been impacted on you but be clear about the strategy and what you want the outcome to be.

Take the time off to recuperate.

Report everything to HR.

I would also state at the start of all Teams calls that you will be recording every meeting with her. Matter of fact. There are no work meetings that cannot be recorded in my company except those with HR.

Tbh even without your trauma this is not acceptable. It would cause me anxiety as well, so I would definitely report it. Sounds like you’re not the only one and she needs to be managed properly as she can’t go around treating others that way.

Please make a formal complaint. I have a similar issue at work, but no one will step forward with a formal complaint which really ties my hands as a manager. Your colleagues will be grateful for your bravery, as you won't be the only one getting this treatment.