Ex squeezed water bottle while teen DD was drinking it

When your children become parents themselves they will massively judge your choice of keeping this twat around. You're risking your future relationships with them and your potential grandchildren. (Trust me - I'm the grown-up child in this situation).

this - it doesn't sound particularly bullying or vindictive.
He sounds a juvenile idiot - but you probably knew that already.

His health isn't your responsibility, it's his!

What about next time he 'turns up' you just don't let him in? Stand in the doorway and say 'sorry, I'm busy with work/family stuff right now so it's not a good time'. You can do that, you're not a branch of Costa or a public library or something. He doesn't have a right to just walk in and take up your time.

You’re not wrong to feel upset. Your ex's behavior was inappropriate, and it’s concerning that he dismissed your feelings about it. You did call him out, but it’s understandable to wish you'd reacted more strongly. What’s important now is checking in with your daughter privately to see how she really felt and ensuring she knows that behavior like that isn’t okay.
Going forward, consider setting firmer boundaries with your ex to prevent situations like this. Don’t be too hard on yourself—it’s tough to process things in the moment, but you're handling it thoughtfully now.

I was a joke between father and daughter.

You're overthinking

He is your ex for a reason.

Your job is not to fix his sad friendless life.

Men who act weirdly around teenage girls need watching.

Men who do things to trick girls and make them uncomfortable need avoiding.

Protect your daughter.

Ffs OP stop making excuses to keep this dickhead around.

He helps with the kids
He's got nobody
My daughter will blame herself

All excuses because you don't want to feel the emotions that doing the right thing would bring. We need to do the hard stuff in life to move on and keep our girls safe. This guy is an asshat, and you've not really dumped him at all. He just lives somewhere else.

OP, you have really poor boundaries that he would have been in your house again, arguing that he did nothing wrong.
Unbelievable.
God knows what message your daughter has been given by the behaviour you tolerate, not to mind your son, on how women can be treated.

You should do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk because whilst I have no doubt you care for your children, you are completely misguided in allowing this argumentative prick near your home and children.

He hasn't an ounce of respect for you and your children.
Is this really the type you want your daughter to end up with?
I have a daughter that age and if some man did that to my child, I would be beyond furious and tell him if he ever came near me or my children again I would be reporting him to 101.

It is not ever funny to make a so called “joke” that makes the other person feel or look foolish - amusement at someone else’s expense isn’t ok.

Especially as he is a grown man and she is a teenage girl

It would be best for your children if you did not allow him contact with any of you. Kids trump lonely ex. What he did was aggressive and with some dodgy undertones to a 16 yo girl. Please protect them by dumping him.

as he’s nothing to do with you or your children I think best to go nc and avoid him. He’s and ex for a reason.

What Coalsy said.
You're not a public service.
You owe him nothing.

Lots of people are on their own - it isn't for you to resolve.

He's been very unpleasant and I am unsure why you feel obligated to keep him in your life.

Oh, get him out of your children's lives. What a dick.

It was a silly thing to do but not harmful and DD seems OK. It’s up to you whether you continue to be friendly, you don’t have to.

Your 16 year old daughter is a young woman unrelated to this man. There is something deeply unpleasant and worrying about an adult man watching her drink from a bottle and then deliberately causing liquid to spurt over her face. Glad he's your ex.

Now you know why he’s a Billy No Mates.

OP, in abusive relationships, it can be very suble to begin with.
You do not want her to ever think throwing anything at her is ever acceptable.
By having him near your home and children again you ARE giving her the message that this behaviour is tolerated and rewarded.

I would be telling her he is a twat and his behaviour reminded YOU of what a twat he is and you don't want him in YOUR home.

His refusal to apologise should be a huge red flag to you.

Chuck some water in his face and ask him why he's not laughing. Tosser.

OP, he is not your responsibility.
You are being manipulated by him, with his worries of his "health".
He's a tool.
Is this why he hasn't friends around him.
Put your daughter first and tell her his behaviour was completely unacceptable.

Abusive men often throw water at women.
Please take it very seriously.
Show your daughter by your actions how completely unacceptable his behaviour was.

Good luck with it all.

I think you handled it brilliantly.

Its hard to tell without knowing their relationship and whether it was a jokey sort of one when you were together.

It sounds like he thought it would be funny and thought she’d find it funny.

You told him that it wasn’t funny and stood up for her.

I would leave it at that.
It’s done.

Unless he is nasty or pushes the boundaries then I don’t see the issue with you remaining friends with him.

a prank that your DD didn’t don’t funny
misjudged but not the end of the world

She won’t think she’s ’to blame’ if you make it clear you see this whole situation as a result of your own misjudgement (both the relationship itself, and letting him hang around afterwards). Say this was a wake up call for you about your own standards.