To begrudge her perfect little life

I'm sorry but all the ones getting into a frenzy to pile onto someone coming forward about negative personality traits they aren't proud of, are really not coming of as superior people, quite the opposite actually

Disagree. It is the OP who has spent many posts sneering at this woman (who lets not forget was in an abusive relationship), calling her "miss workaholic", sneering at her relationship, calling her nauseating, hoping she'd catch her husband cheating on her so presumably she could gloat and ruin her relationship,- a friend who she says has a "heart of gold".

This isnt just a negative personality trait, OP is coming across as genuinely nasty and actually rather cruel.

Perhaps, they might be after reassurance others have acted in a simular way, I don't know. But they've asked the question aibu which people can quite simply say yes you are being unreasonable and suggest they address why they feel that way, without the need to tear someone to shreds, I'd perhaps feel differently if someone was caught out, as opposed to coming forward themselves.

Lots of people have said that in this thread- loads of people, but the OP hasn't acknowledged any of those posts.

I think many of us have been on the receiving end of nasty behaviour from jealous "friends" which may be why some people are so annoyed by it....

Being on the other side of it isnt very pleasant either, you know.

You don't need to know, quite simply telling someone, yes it's an unreasonable way to think, and you should address why you feel that way is a suitable enough answer.

They have come to aibu as they are likely aware they are being unreasonable and it's a flawed way of being. If someone comes to you, expresses concern that they have some toxic traits, and are on the brink of coming to that realisation, do you scream at them that they are a disgusting person, or say yes, jealousy and resentment aren't good traits, what are you going to do to sort it?

I'm sorry but all the ones getting into a frenzy to pile onto someone coming forward about negative personality traits they aren't proud of, are really not coming of as superior people, quite the opposite actually.

Well said, plus how the fck are we supposed to know why the OP is raging with jealousy?

Thats something she needs to figure out in therapy. Plus, she did NOT ask for reasons why she might be jealous, she asked AIBU which is exactly why she's getting the answers she has.

Good grief.

What? Hashtag Be Kind?

We should try and understand why someone sneers at a supposed friend who’s finally happy, tried to dig up dirt on the fiancé and bitching about it openly on mumsnet?

fuck that.

some pile ons are well placed, quite simple “don’t be a dick!” Go do the work on yourself to work out why you’re so triggered by another person’s happiness. The rest of us don’t need to sit around in a circle supporting people who are so bitter.

Yeah this. The OP has gone out of her way to find out whether the bloke went to a strip club and seems disappointed that he didn’t. Like it would have been a good thing if he had. 😯

It’s not a side issue at all it’s central to the narrative.

And let’s be honest, “swan towels” are naff as fuck. If someone has had these presented as part of a proposal it means their intended had just bought a corporate “romantic weekend for two” package off the internet because he lacks the imagination to do anything more creative.

Yes, I see how it could be taken that way.

I've assumed nothing - I even said I didn't know if OP had children or not.

The way you asked the question appeared to imply that OP could achieve all the things her friend had if she only put her mind to it. If that wasn't the way it was intended then I apologise. However that's the way I interpreted it.

Yeah i did miss that part to be fair.

Still think the pile on is unfair. If someone is struggling this much with jealously they should be supported in finding out what is triggering this and how to better it, rather than laying into her about being a shitty person

You don't have to personally experience it.

Do you see it on tv shows then.

on So many reality tv shows, the prettiest girl gets bullied.

Do you remember I'm a celebrity get me out of here, when the women were all bullying the model in there.

You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

But OP's problem is not jealousy (fairly common and, when well directed, can be a motor for change), but envy: she wished her husband cheated on her so she(OP) could feel better about herself. That's a step further than the typical "arrg, she seems to have lost weight! I'm going to try to as well". And potentially very destructive.
Envy has nothing to do with objective reality, but with the inner world of the one who suffers from it.

She has done nothing but show support for you OP. This thread makes me sad and your friend deserves better. You are not unreasonable to feel those feelings but it is your problem not hers. Is she supposed to make herself smaller for you?

Not read the thread yet.
Unless there’s a massive drip feed you are basically jealous of your friend because she has a loyal partner, children and owns a house. That’s a good set up to be sure but it’s not unusual either. Were you secretly thinking she’d end up a mad cat lady or something? Or stuck in another abusive relationship.
Where is all this coming from?

Why would you question it? Some people have more than their fair share of losses too. Wins aren't there to be shared fairly amongst us, they are available to be earned, which this woman's friend has clearly done with hard graft. Wins are available for the OP too she just has to work for them. And taking any from her friend wouldn't increase the OPs share, she would still be dissatisfied with her lot.

What’s insensitive? I literally asked, I didn’t assume anything.
You’re the one doing that.