To begrudge her perfect little life

Usually I'd agree but then most posters post on aibu, things get pointed out to them and they either flounce or admit they were wrong

The jealousy and nasty behavior has been pointed out to the OP. She's gone past being jealous and was actively looking for any kind of dirt on her friends husband in order to make her feel better.

Each post she has made, has been full of loathing, bitching and resenment.

She instead seemed surprised and said

If anything this just proves my point that her life is nearly too good

The glaring problem is that OP doesn't seem to be aware of what's she has done wrong and is adamant that the problem lies with her friend and her friends lifestyle

You are very mean.

@Thepeopleversuswork That's true, but to be honest. So is most of MN.
Any post from someone seemingly doing 'better than the rest' is met with a barrage of criticism. Accused of bragging, think of those surviving on pennies, etc etc.

So many people have rightly pointed out that the OP is behaving badly. But such spiteful behaviour, tearing people down is so common on here every day. OP isn't alone.

Maybe doing it to strangers on the internet is more forgiveable than your own mate?

Anyway this friend must be a bit naive if she can't see how jealous the OP is. Surely she has better friends.... Or OP is a very good actress.

I don’t think there’s any need to lay into the friend’s husband. As far as I can make out OP’s friend is very happy with him, swan towels or not, so why have a go at him?

OP I think you’ve done well to identify these feelings you’re having.To overcome them you should take active steps to do something to boost your self worth and achieve what you want. This really has very little to do with this friend, but it’s a useful catalyst for you to better yourself. Also for your own mental health, I would suggest slowly distancing yourself from this friend. Sometimes we’re just not in the right place to be a good friend to someone and you should pretend to be a friend if you can’t be one.

There's that. It's such a dig.

Not sure why you feel envy over your friend’s life if you consider it ‘little’.

These are my exact thoughts too.

The post was spiteful. There is no way to sugar coat that.

Because I've entered a discussion? Thats far more worthy of time than reading a 20 odd page pile on.

Amen sister.

@Thepeopleversuswork

I don't disagree, she asked if its unreasonable, most people will say yes. But, it seems that ops post was hopefully part of that process of acknowledging her shortcomings. There's a way of offering insight without minimising or excusing bad behaviour. I'd say you have done that yourself in your post, you've labelled her behaviour as disruptive, and said she should be an adult, that's a world away from telling someone she's disgusting and should have no friends.

Does anyone have time to read 22 pages, I read the op, and a few pages. It was enough to see a trend. I would have gained 0 extra insight from reading additional pages.

My opinion isn't that offensive. Op is flawed, that's admitted, jumping on a hate train and rushing to tell someone how awful they are doesn't make the person making those comments come accross much better. It's not having a go, it's stating an opinion

I'm sorry but all the ones getting into a frenzy to pile onto someone coming forward about negative personality traits they aren't proud of, are really not coming of as superior people, quite the opposite actually

I can’t speak for others but when someone starts a thread to lay into a supposedly close friend because of envy I couldn’t care less about being “superior”.

This post id a grotesquely self indulgent piece of misguided spite. The OP is resentful because her friend worked harder, achieved more than she did and now had a loving fiancé. She clearly thought others would join her in an orgy of spite and envy and she misjudged it.

I’m sure she has her reasons but part of being an adult is knowing yourself enough to know when to accept your own shortcomings and not deflect onto other people. I don’t wish the OP harm but she needs to be made aware how self destructive and unpleasant her behaviour is.

Not a lecture, just responding to comments, do you understand how forums work?

I said my bit, that her behaviours aren't good, but the focus should be on changing them.

Others disagreed, saying they are entitled to pile on, because it's a forum.

I responded saying ok, but you don't come across superior by piling on.

Pretty simple, I don't know why you have interpreted a back and forth discourse as a lecture

I would say that someone who saw a friend go through an abusive relationship, and then finally found love with someone who genuinely loved and cared for her and was anything but happy for her IS a shitty friend.

Perhaps OP would prefer she went back to her abusive ex so she can feel better about herself eh?

Also LOL at irony of you calling others superior when you are literally lecturing people about how they ought to be responding on a public forum

Im honestly not sure not being arsed to read the thread then having a go at everyone is really coming off like you intend. I’d see this as a growth opportunity?

^This

I think your remarks are slightly made in jest OP. Some people do lead charmed lives don’t try and seemingly get all the luck - sounds like your friend has been through the mill too though.

Imagine how she would feel if she knew all this, 😔 is she a good friend with a good heart?

I'm not, I don't care if I'm ignored, people can say what they like, but i can also say that by piling on calling someone an awful person, they don't come accross morally superior. Just makes people come across more mean spirated than insightful. It's just odd having people rush to insult someone while coming off no better themselves.

I won't be referring to the comments that say that, I've only read to about page 4, and saw some overly harsh comments.

I have been on the other end, a friend tried to sabotage a relationship and talk me out of a good job opportunity, we came through it eventually as my friend had admitted they made bad decisions when going through a very difficult time and that they truly hated themselves at the time. They've more than made up for it and I know that's not them anymore, I've also said / done some things in the past I regret fuelled by jealousy, anger, and that's so far removed from how i act now. I, and my friend came to realisations as we grew, we learned from mistakes, confided in others, made our ammends. Having someone tell me I'm a shitty person (which i wasn't, I'm talking very minor regrets) wouldn't have helped me improve as a person. If someone can't grow, then yes, cut them off, whatever, fine. But the op coming forward with a list of toxic behaviours clearly shows some acknowledgement something isn't quite right, which is usually a step towards making a positive change.