To begrudge her perfect little life

You sound silly and unkind. She sounds like she’s had a difficult time and has now found happiness. You should be delighted for her as a friend.

You have actually gone looking for unhappiness for her (checking if her husband was cheating with no real need/ looking for financial concerns). Who needs enemies when they have friends like you.

I’ll never understand why some adults can never just be happy for their friends successes and happiness.

This is an odd attitude to take about a friend and comes across as jealous observer. So yes YABU. I would be mortified if I knew my ‘friend’ was secretly thinking this way.

I would be looking at why I’m unhappy and what I can do about it and remove myself from this unhealthy dynamic.

The swan towels thing - speechless on that!

The older you get you’ll realise nobody gets an unscathed life so lift each up as cheesy as it is. People are jealous of a friend of mine as he seems to have it all. He’s a very positive man as well. He also has metastatic cancer. Stop judging and get on with it, the clock ticks regardeless.

I understand where you are coming from. So will most people if they are truthful. We all have someone who we envy. Someone whose life looks perfect and idyllic and they seem to have been Gifted looks and brains and happiness.
I am now in my mid fifties and am lucky to still have a group of 9 friends that I have known since childhood. What I can say is that life is a marathon not a sprint. Between us we have those that were single for ever and now in happy relationships, those that were married young and divorced, some married young and still happy. Add in having kids, not being able to have kids, children who brought joy as kids but had difficult teen years. We have maybe all had different lives to the ones we had planned. And yes, there is the golden one who is still pretty golden!
Time will give you a better perspective but I think it's normal to be envious. Particularly if it's something that is lacking in you/your life.

Id love a friend like her, happy in her life; send her to me! You sound bitter op sorry.

You're a very jealous & not very nice person. Get help. I hope there is a reason you can work through and you're not just "like this"

It's ok to be jealous, or a little envious- to maybe even want what someone else has, but you appear to actively want her not to have these nice things or nice life.

It's not a good look & i do actually say this with kindness, get help.

Wow. Hopefully she has other friends, because if not friendship is not something she has got going for her. What you've said is awful. Maybe work on yourself and whatever you feel is wrong with your own life or relationship because this is all you.

I have a ‘friend’ like this by the way. She can never be happy for me and has never so much as said anything positive about anything that has happened in my life. I actually enjoy it and take her envy as a compliment that I must be doing something right in life!

I make damn sure I let her know every time something good happens to me as I imagine her bubbling up inside 🤣🤣. She might well start doing the same to you, OP. You do yourself no favours, a lot of us who know we are envied find it hilarious.

This has nothing to do with her, this says everything about you.You really need some kind of therapy whether that’s professional or some self help to work on your self esteem and own your feelings. Learn to change things you’re not happy with and focus on yourself and your own goals rather than what others are doing. You will be much happier.

For the time being, please distance yourself from her as she will be picking up on your envy of her and it really isn’t a good thing because you open yourself up to ridicule amongst her and her other friends, and nobody wants an envious and bitter, mean friend.

You didn’t really think people would come on here and say “YANBU. Fuck her and her work acumen, loving husband and general joy,” did you?

Green isn’t your colour. Work out what’s making you unhappy in life and stop comparing yours to other people’s.

Sounds like you hate her. Are you going to enjoy it when something goes wrong for her? That happens to everyone.

Jealousy is so ugly. You're sounding like a bitter and nasty madam and I hope she figures out your resentment of her soon and dumps you as a 'mate'. She sounds lovely and deserves good, well intentioned pals who are happy for her.

I don’t think it makes you a bad person to have these feelings if you’re not acting on them. We all have feelings. Sometimes they’re not rational and even though we know that it doesn’t make the feelings go away. If you’re generally a good friend to her and don’t try to pull her down in real life, I don’t see the issue with venting anonymously on her.

You do sound jealous of her. That suggests to me that she has something in her life that you feel is lacking in yours. I would try to stop focusing on her and put your energy towards getting whatever it is you want for yourself. Maybe a career change, encouraging more romance in your own relationship or making plans for marriage and children of your own. Jealousy comes from the false perception that resources are limited and if people around us have things it means that we can’t, but this isn’t true. Just because your friend has these things doesn’t make it any less likely for you to get them as well.

WTF is your problem? The old saying who needs enemies with friends like this? Surely this is a reverse of some type or just made up

She is a workoholic who was in an abusive relationship. Her life hasn’t all been sun shine and swan towels.

Wow, you really hate your 'friend'. Please leave her to her life that she's clearly worked hard to build. She doesn't need this kind of negativity, especially coming from someone she imagined actually likes her.

I don’t think you’re very happy op, and I think in your mind you’re trying to tell yourself it’s because your experience is normal and therefore hers is excessive or over the top- but it’s just her reality.

she has nothing you can’t achieve yourself, it’s just easier for you not to and instead of recognising your lack of ambition and willingness to accept less than, you’re begrudging of those who did go for big.

you are ultimately most unreasonable for feeling this way knowing she’s suffered an abusive relationship though, and for calling her a friend. She might be yours but you are certainly no friend to her.

Jealousy is an extremely unattractive trait

@Sistafromanothermista I just feel like I can’t catch a break around her sometimes

What do you mean you can’t catch a break? A break from what?

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh but you sound deeply jealous of her life, her circumstances, and it appears that you have really low self esteem. Someone who knows their worth and is happy in life wouldn’t speak about a friend like this. This really is a disturbing and horrible read.

If you’re so nauseated by her, end the friendship. Life’s too short to be unhappy and jealous.

Also, people who appear to have “perfect little lives” usually don’t.

You give off Regina George vibes…

Yes I agree, it sounds like you want marriage and children. Do you have that?

Focus on what you want and go and get it.

If you are envious of her career, be inspired by it.
If you are envious of her pregnancies then I assume you want children. Tell your boyfriend what you want. Think about your relationship and if it's going where you want and take steps to make your life the way you want it to be.

Feelings are just feelings. You're not a horrible person for having them. If her marriage is making you reflect on your own relationship, that might not be a bad thing. She obviously values your friendship for who you are, so I'd just enjoy it. I have a few very high earning friends. I love it. I always think "if I ever fell on hard times....." 😀She made sacrifices as a teen in order to get ahead by the sounds of it. Good on her. Can't be cross when a grafter is rewarded for her efforts.

Don't compare your life with others in this envious way, you will never find your own happiness.

What do you wanf to improve in your life, focus on that and aim to achieve it. It's hard to tell from your post what it is you are lacking maybe children, maybe marriage, maybe you need to look at your career and make a change. Pick something achievable and go for it. Use this envy to improve you.

Are you being unreasonable to begrudge her perfect little life?

Yes

And you're being nasty, petty and jealous too

I think if you were not jealous then you wouldn't have posted this.