To begrudge her perfect little life

You need to be a particular sort of person to be friends with someone who you consider to have it all. Happy in your own life, self confident, generous spirited. You don't sound like you have those traits, so this friendship isn't right for either of you. Her life is making you unhappy and in your envy you are turning toxic...hoping for news her fiancé would cheat is pretty bad...Stick to friends that don't bring out the worst in you.

"Her perfect little life" you are no friend OP, friends celebrate friend's successes.

If it's not her, it will be someone else in your life, a sister, colleague, other friends etc.

I've known a couple of women like you. Only happy for others as long as they're seemingly beneath them.

Wanted to be the one with the perfect relationship but would try and match make you with known losers or encourage friends to stay with an abuser.

Jealous of all aspects even someone's home decor.

Jelous of friends with kids, then when she had kids, begrudging single friends for having free time.

In a world full of selfish people, you should be glad to have a friend like her and stop comparing your life or waiting for her to fail.

There’s something badly wrong with someone who can’t be happy for a friend who has a fantastic marriage, to the point of hoping her bloke would behave badly on a night out without her.

It sounds like you realise you had the same start in life, but because she focused on her studies rather than booze and boys, leading to a better career trajectory than you, an ability to afford a home, meet (eventually) a good guy and have a lovely wedding and couple of kids, you feel like you've ended in very different places.

You sound dissatisfied with the life trajectory that you are on; do you realise you can change it?

If you need better qualifications to get a better paying job, why don't you do some night classes or open university or similar? Apply yourself to studying now you can see how it changes your life.

If you want to buy a house, what steps have to taken towards saving for that? Are you looking at shared ownership and other schemes that get your foot on the property ladder for example?

Don't just be disappointed with your life, actively try to make it better, if that's what the point of your post is.

I should add that like attracts like. Is she your only friend that you're jealous of? If you had loads of friends like that you'd expect the same for yourself. If you have out with a bunch of moaning Minnie's you'll only ever see and talk about and expect negatives. Think closely about where its got you so far and where you want to be.

I've stayed in 'posh' locations / hotels and they will set up the petals and swan towels for you. It's nice enough but it's only sqidged up towels and bits of pink stuff.

It was nothing compared to the buzz I got the first time I stayed in a hotel and discovered the biscuits and hot chocolate mix were free.

I've been your friend. I remember being treated with defensiveness and downright rudeness at times due to simply being happy and very much loved up with my now husband. We have that everyday's-a-honeymoon kind of love as well and nearly 2 decades on we still do. It has no bearing on anyone else's happiness and it isn't really anyone else's business. We have been on the receiving end of so many snide remarks and comments for our apparently perfect life (house, kids, work, love life). But people don't see other parts of our lives that have been bloody hard. We have got through so many big scary life events together that I won't go into on here. Our affection for each other is in part because we know tomorrow is never promised and we make the most of every minute together. Everyone is different and that doesn't mean everyone has to be the same as us. If you're genuinely happy in your life then it doesn't matter what your friend does.

You're jealous. Jealous of her career. Jealous of her proposal because your boyfriend hasn't proposed. Jealous that they are mad.for eachother and you're settling. Jealous that she's pregnant. And disappointed that he didn't cheat on her.

She has obviously had to make some very brave choices to come back from abuse. Are you disappointed that you can't work hard for a career or be brave and throw away your boyfriend if it's bit what you want? It sounds like you're quite passive whereas she takes charge and drives her life. You can do it too.

The grass always looks greener on the other side,,,,,,,,,

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors and some people can put on a proper act, he might be bad in bed 😂

But, on the other hand she might just have it all, and you my dear are jealous and rightly so. Like you said she has worked hard for what she has, she was focused on what she wanted from a young age and had goals. She also went through an abusive relationship from which she will have mental scars

If your life isn't where you want it to be, thats on you OP.
You sound horribly mean spirited and I hope the other lady has better mates than you seem to be!

You have a friend who you know has previously been in an abusive relationship and would have secretly been happy if you found out her current (supportive and kind) partner was up to no good, doing things that would upset her if she found out?

Can you see how fucked up that is?

You have a you problem. Your friend and her life sounds lovely and you should be gravitating towards that, not berating her for it. Work on what you want and what you want from your relationship. Treating your partner like everyday is your honeymoon is how it should be too btw, it makes for a stronger union.

@Holotropic

The ring box could be draped in an elaborate antimacassar which could be whisked off at the key moment for maximum effect, while the bride-to-be for once doesn’t have to feign surprise for Instagram, because she’s genuinely wondering why her bloke has brought something from her great-granny’s armchair up the Eiffel Tower…

LOL.

Upgrade your proposal to the premium Swan Towel package for an extra £450 and they will throw in a bottle of Sainsbury’s Prosecco. Timeless elegance.

None of this is unachievable. You should go to therapy. I hope this girl cuts contact with you, you sound like a terrible “friend”

People like you are toxic. Sort your own life is and take a look at yourself.

She sounds awesome.

You sound very unhappy OP. Channel your energy into making positive changes to your life instead of feeling envious of ‘your friend.’
Id also distance yourself from this lady as you must know you are being petty and jealous. It’s not her fault she is stunning and seems to have it all. She must likely worked hard for everything she had achieved and no one has a perfect life despite appearances.
If she’s a good friend to you then be grateful to have her around. It’s sounds like you cant feel this way atm so work on yourself and your issues.
Maybe try CBT to conquer negative thought processes.

I haven't RTFT but couldn't help noticing that in your description of her 'perfect life' you casually drop in that she was in an abusive relationship for a while. Not so perfect then.

You sound quite nasty about her tbh.

I had a friend just like you OP, it came to light years later she felt just like you.

But what she’s didn’t know was I have perfect girl syndrome from an emotional lacking childhood with an eating disorder and multiple miscarriages.

What I’m trying to say is no one is perfect, she will have issues going on you are not aware of. She’s been in an abusive relationship…doesnt she deserve a good partner?

Respectfully, you sound extremely bitter and I’d even suggest you start to step away from this friendship. You don’t sound like you actually like your friend, and seem to be getting nothing from the friendship other than resentment. Your friend sounds lovely, I’m not sure it’s good for her to have someone who is actively hoping for something in her life to go wrong (be honest, you’d have loved it if her boyfriend had turned out to be sleazy).

You aren’t her friend. Leave her alone and work on your own happiness. At the moment you sound mean.

The ring box could be draped in an elaborate antimacassar which could be whisked off at the key moment for maximum effect, while the bride-to-be for once doesn’t have to feign surprise for Instagram, because she’s genuinely wondering why her bloke has brought something from her great-granny’s armchair up the Eiffel Tower…

Focus your energy on improving your own life OP, best way

I don’t get it. Swan towel proposal means she got proposed to in a hotel room? I’m not one to yuck anyone else’s yum but that’s not movie unrealistic glamour is it? It’s just what you get on holiday. I’m not dissing her by the way, how lovely that she is happy and content in life. I just find it weird that you find it something to knock her down with. It says more about you than her.

I think you're the mean girl! The OP has been honest about how she feels on an anonymous forum to seek support so she doesn't upset her friend or spoil the relationship.

We all have times we feel uncharitable. We're all human beings after all. It doesn't mean we act on it.

OP you need to look at yourself and your life and what's missing there. Envy will make you really bitter if you don't sort it out.

You asked her how she can afford her life? Fucking hell. You are no friend.

BTW rose petals and swan towels are not every girls dream🙄

Yes, awful. You clearly were hoping her DH had cheated.