To begrudge her perfect little life

Instead of wallowing in envy, you need to use this to reflect on what you want in life and make a plan to achieve it. Not a replication of what she has. It doesn’t sound like a movie style proposal is your cu of tea, but if it is, be honest with yourself. A few possibles gleaned from your posts:

• to get married
• to have children sooner rather than later
• to own your own house
• to feel pride in your accomplishments (work etc)
• to feel confident in your appearance

Jealous, vindictive and unpleasant. Look at what is good in your life and be grateful for it. Look at what's not so good and try and improve it if possible.
There will always be people more attractive, charming, rich, lucky and intelligent that you. There will always be some folk uglier, poorer, in terrible health and not born with the brain of Einstein. So what? You have to accept this and just be the best you can for yourself without resorting to plain spite and nastiness about a friend. You won't have any friends if you carry on like that.
What do you want? Your friends partner to be unfaithful? She loses her job? She gets fat or ill? You really think that's going to make you feel better? Really?

A Channel 5 afternoon one.

Op you are one nasty jealous woman.
Leave the poor woman alone. You are poison in her life.

Someone once said that a big white wedding is just the start of a couples life together .At the moment shes enjoying a marriage ,children and so on .As Frankie used to sing "Riding high in April ,shot down in May" No one know what will be in the future.ATM try to be happy for her and look at what is good/bad in your life .Her DH coming home early may be seen as being possessive/unhealthy even.Many young and older wives tend to boast a little as well!

So you're saying she's 'transformed' herself and got a happier life than when you were mates at school?

How old are you now?

Time to pick apart why you 'feel shit' being around her.

It's obvious to everyone reading that you feel small and a bit of an under achiever compared to her.

What did she do to get this far that you didn't?
Work harder at school?
Go to uni and get a great job?

Only you can answer that.

You only have your boyfriend's account of the night out. If he feels the same as you about her, he may be inventing all of that.

Old school friends sometimes belong in the past.
If you feel like this it's best to move on.
Make you own life happier and stop comparing.

This isn’t about her it’s about you.

If you aren’t happy and fulfilled in your life (you don’t sound like you are) then only you can make changes not expect other happy successful people make changes to their life to accommodate your self esteem.

Focus on you. And try to be happy for people. If you pretend to be happy for them you might actually start to feel happy for them and in turn happier for you.

Jealousy is a poison that will eat you alive.

Good luck xx

Agreed.

She was "jam later", OP was "jam today".

Nah it'll be fine. Loads of people leave nights out sober and after talking only about their other half.

The fact that you know she's been in an abusive relationship and were actually hoping that her current partner cheated.

Please think about what that says about you and do better.

You have read my post too literally. It was thrown out there as an alternative perspective to support the OP against a barrage of how mean she is. My point was to be yourself and not some cut out copy of what now seems to be a given way of life. You have put on the interpretation of 'if you have to try that hard' yourself. I admire the OP for her honesty and believe she is very authentic as she has shared her innermost feelings about this friend with us all for comment.

I don't think you should call yourself this woman's friend. You're really not.

Apparently her husband talked about her the whole night, didn’t drink alcohol and went home early because he missed her.

Somehow I doubt this.
It's what your boyfriend told you.
Maybe he was trying to wind you up?

I expect the reality is your friend's husband was being responsible by not drinking (and driving?), she is pregnant and they already have a small child.

Isn't it more likely he was being caring and had agreed not to stay out late and get plastered?

On the other hand if it WAS true, that intensity can't last.
If you were a true friend, you'd understand that, be happy with your own life (or trying to improve it) and be around if things change for her.

What a horrible post, so nasty. She really needs to distance herself from you OP. Friends should be over the moon at their friend's achievements and success/happiness.

perfect little life
So condescending. OP sounds like a bully.

I do think the husband one is a big one. Like I love my boyfriend and he loves me but I wouldn’t leave a night out because I missed him or vice versa.

Neither would I.
So why are you jealous over it?

Why is the husband a big one if that’s not what you would want anyway?

Why are you so jealous? It's a very ugly emotion. Why do you begrudge her everything?
All of my old friends are more financially settled than I ever can be. All have good marriages to lovely men. Most are retired and I'll work way beyond state pension age.
I don't begrudge any of them what they have. I don't think "poor little me" either. That's no way to live! I'm very happy for them all.
I think, OP, that you need to walk away from this, as it's not healthy. Then get some therapy to try to change how you see the world.

I agree.

Misery loves company.

You need to focus on improving your own life.

If you have this attitude, then her life will always be better than yours, regardless of what she does.

You should be using her attitude as motivation to do better for yourself.

Are there no positive aspects of your life?
What part of your life are you not happy with and what are you doing to change it?

Maybe she's on here and will recognise herself. There's enough detail.

Jealousy is dripping from your posts. And I can understand being jealous, but hoping that her husband had cheated on her and wasn't so perfect after all really is dreadful. It shows you are mean spirited rather than simply jealous.

Swan towels! 🤣🤣 Personally I would find that a bit cringe rather than anything aspirational. It absolutely isn't what every girl wants. It sounds like it's what you want and you are upset that your boyfriend hasn't proposed to you.

By the way, she doesn't have a "perfect little life" if she has been in an abusive relationship. It sounds like she has worked hard for what she has and you are looking at your own life and relationship and seeing it is lacking.

If you put out this sort of venom into the world, you're never going to be happy. I'd spend less time worrying about what she has and more time working on your own issues.

Don’t disagree with everything you’ve said but do you not see the irony in “be wacky”? Cringe. If you have to try that hard to be authentic and individual you’re probably… not. As if someone can’t enjoy prosecco and also climb mountains and also knit?

Eugh I really hope she realises what an awful friend you're being.

Do you grade all your friends like this OP? It’s a telling thing to do, about you not her.

Just keep your distance- you sound like one of those who feeds off knowing that others have problems.

I get that sometimes you can get jealous of someone’s life. I often have that bleurgh feeling when looking at Instagram…. But to be asking your husband about information on their night out and it feels like you would have been seemingly pleased that he cheated on her or something?? This is where it’s not normal, at best cringe and worst something else.

if her baby has a disability will you be happy?? If her husband had a bad accident would you be happy?? I honestly think you need to work on yourself