To begrudge her perfect little life

I mean you put "I was happy for her because I knew she had been in an abusive relationship for a while" do you think her surviving abuse has maybe made her appreciate not being abused by her partner anymore?

I'm really sorry OP but her life hasn't been perfect has it, she sounds like a really genuinely nice person that is surrounded by vultures wanting to take pieces off of her, do you really want to be one of them? Maybe you should be happy she's a survivor of abuse and finally thriving.

Your life doesn't exactly sound shit OP. Stop going down this road of jealousy. I really hope you don't slag her off to your partner and complain about how perfect she is. She deserves happiness and seems to want to be your friend too. Xx

Her life can’t be that perfect with “friends” like you. Hopefully she can find some new ones.

She sounds like someone I would love to be friends with tbh!

What are you talking about? You sound deranged. You’ve admitted she was previously in an abusive relationship. She isn’t anymore. She’s found someone who adores her, has babies with said person and is successful in a career it sounds like she’s worked hard for. What is the problem?

You sound incredibly mean spirited and bitter. If I were her I’d run as far away from you as possible. The issue is you. You aren’t happy with your own life.

You are not her friend. You should distance your self and think carefully about why you are so bitter about someone else's happiness.

I would understand it if she'd coasted through life and lucky opportunities had fallen into her lap without any effort.

Instead, you describe a hard-working, kind, motivated person, willing to stand up to do the right thing, who has already been through an abusive relationship, survived, and managed to find a partner more worthy of her.

This sounds like someone finally getting exactly what they deserve.

I think you're jealous of the illusion of her life, rather than her life. In reality, we're all suffering. If she has a great relationship with her husband, we'll that's great as it means their children will feel more secure and content. I used to think that people had the perfect life and it irritated me but I realise now that everyone is struggling and we're all in this together.

Go NC for your mental health. You're not obliged to be her friend.

I had a friend like this, except she also had her own very successful business she'd started from scratch and was always on holiday. In later years only knew her via Facebook but always looked like she had the perfect life.

Then it came out that she had cancer, a second time, after not telling anyone outside immediate circle about the first, and it was terminal. Left two young boys behind.

After that I realised how ridiculous I had been and it didn't matter how shiny her hair was or how beautiful her holiday shots were.

You don’t like that this woman makes you look bad because it highlights the poor choices you’ve made in life.

Being jealous isn’t going to help.

If you’re unhappy with your life, then change it.

I voted YABU because you’re not being a friend! A friend would be happy for her-she’s had some hardships and come through the other side. If she knew you’d posted this she’d feel devastated.
And if you think about it, she doesn’t lead such a charmed life. She was in an abusive relationship (these can leave lifelong emotional scars) and she has a “friend” who is bitter and jealous, but she has no idea. Not so great really is it?

I reckon it does yeah. In my life, I’ve encountered maybe three or four people who I think were genuinely nasty, rotten people. All got their comeuppance one way or other.

Before you bite my head off I’m not saying bad things like accidents, terminal illnesses and tragedy happen because people have done something bad. That would be ridiculous.

But in my opinion, being a good, decent person pays off. Being mean and doing wrong often bites you in the arse.

We can all be jealous of people from time to time and we might think ‘bloody hell, Jenny is off to the Maldives AGAIN’. But I think it’s spiteful to start a thread about a friends ‘perfect little life’ when she just sounds like a normal, happy woman.

Maybe he didn't drink alcohol and went home early because if he didn't his life would be a living hell . You only truly know people if you live with them . I would focus on your own life and not bother with this old friend as you would always be comparing her life with your and feeling miserable.

You don't know what is going on behind closed doors.

Maybe her husband left early because he is controlling & is always accusing her of sleeping with other men behind his back, so he went home to try and catch her out, slammed her into a wall, and shouted accusations at her, leaving her terrified.

Or maybe everything is as rosy as it seems and her life is going really well right now.

Either way, if she's reaching out to you it's clear she values you and wants your support. Your issues are about you; if you can get over them and be a friend to her, great. If not, distance yourself.

This all sounds like such a bog-standard, run-of-the-mill life you’d have to have things pretty terrible to be envious of it.

Swan towels and husband doesn’t use prostitutes. So aspirational.

You sound very nasty about her OP.

Other people's wins don't affect your life. If you want a better relationship get one. If you want to improve your own relationship, you can do that too.

You are a horrible "friend"

OP, you need to consider why you are feeling resentful of her. From your outline, it doesn’t sound like she is someone who had everything handed to her on a plate - you say that she worked really hard at school and then in her job, she was in and thankfully managed to escape an abusive relationship, and she has obviously spent time on her style and trying to look good. That stuff is not pure luck, it’s based on her hard work and life you are her friend, you should be pleased that it has worked out for her.

This is not someone who deserves a begrudging and mean-spirited friend, especially since you describe her as having a heart of gold. Your feelings require examination because they are about you, not her.

Oh wow- I know people like you and I avoid them like the plague- they're constant "victims" in life, jealous of everyone else who they consider "lucky" but they refuse to acknowledge the hard work those people have put in to get where they are now.

Reads like you’re angry at yourself for the choices you made. I doubt her life is without hardship and reads like you wanted her to fail in some way because she did what you didn’t

Its this. If you messed about, didnt work hard and spent your time out boozing meeting men (and there is nothing wrong with that at all) but you can hardly then moan and whinge that all her hard work paid off. She made better choices than you and is now reaping the benefits. The point is - you could have made those exact same choices but you chose not to- well tough shit now I'm afraid.

This woman has done nothing that you could not have done yourself.

An ex friend was like this to me- she'd do the bare minimum at work, spent her time dossing around at home whilst I started a business and worked my arse off. Then she'd snarkily tell me it wasnt fair that I was so "lucky" having a business. Of course she'd conveniently forget that for the first 2 years I was practically working 24/7 sacrificing my free time and stressing whilst she would be sat on her sofa watching tv. Dont punish her because she made better choices than you did- thats on you.

I think although she used the word perfect, what she means is this woman has what she wants,a husband who loves her. Kids. A house she owns, a good job, disposable income, good looks. On top of this she’s a good person.

it’s envy, pure and simple. She wants these things so badly she hates this woman has them all, and hopes for something horrible to happen to her, like her husband and the father of her kids cheats

when you get to the stage you can look at a woman uou call friend , who you know was in an abusive relationship, who you know worked and went without to get where she is, and you wish her Ill due to her envy, thay you want to see her brought down, you need to address your own unhappiness.

some of these comments are touching on similar. Don’t worry. Maybe her life is shit behind the scenes. Or something shit will happen to her. It’s not ok.

Yes, I thought you were being quite funny. Though I’d assume the thing about going home early from a boys’ night out because he missed his wife is more a teetotaller’s polite way of saying ‘You’re all pissed and lairy and want to go to a lap dancing club next, and I’m bored’.

I hope she sees this and ditches you. No one needs friends who resent them so nastily.

You have said OP that you think her life seems ‘Too Good’. I think it sounds pretty normal. Girl worked hard in school, did well. Met Mr Right and had babies. Oh and she’s pretty’.

This doesn’t sound any different to my life or 20 odd friends or family I could name.

Leaving a night out because her DH misses her sounds soppy but I get what he means. If they were in a sleazy club and he’s got a wife and babies at home I think you often think ‘what am I doing here?’ I went to a friends 50th last week in a local pub, I was so looking forward to getting out with my DH and leaving our kids at home. But the reality was it was crap, it was a load of old blokes, giving shit speeches in a grotty room in a pub. Whilst I moan about my life being boring and never going out I just thought ‘get me the fuck out of here, I love my boring life with my DH and babies.’

Over the top romantic gestures can often be the sign of a narcissist. They are more about the giver than the recipient.