To begrudge her perfect little life

🤣🤣 yeah I think I definitely have the latter

Maybe you should and then you'd be as happy as her, with all the rings that go with it!

Why do you begrudge her a life you seem to judge as ridiculous? Omg as IF I'd ever want an ott proposal and a husband who adores me, bleurgh, how day I only have a boyfriend who likes me!!

I take it your bf didn't come home early cos he missed you?

The people saying jealousy is fine and its only bad if you act on it- I can guarantee you that if envy (which yes, its true that everyone feels from time to time) has turned into jealousy and bitterness that your friend WILL be aware of it.

It oozes out in comments, body language, the way you behave, the fact you dont act pleased when something good happens to that person etc

It's disingenuous to suggest otherwise and it's incredibly unpleasant for the other person because it's hardly their fault.

Exactly,I hate when people are jealous of me, when a lot of them don't know what I've been through.

Someone glared at me and said to me the other day angrily "oh are you going on your second holiday to Spain this year? Its Well for some we cant afford to get out of the UK this year with the cost of living"

I said to them 'Yes I am. Because I'm cheering myself up, because one of my parents killed themselves by suicide 6 months ago, and I'm dealing with shock and grief"

And you know @Sistafromanothermista I'd love to know how hard you worked in school, university, graduate trainee programme, and in your job?

The woman who thinks you're her friend (you are not) sounds like she's sacrificed & worked very hard. What have you done?

I find the concept of "fair share" problematic.
Life isn't fair and some people have things easier than others.
If we don't accept that and keep expecting things to be fair we just make ourselves miserable.
All we can do is make the best of our own circumstances and treat people as fairly as possible ourselves.

You sound lovely, just the sort of friend any nice woman needs.

YABU, by the way.

I really dislike jealous people.

I actually have one aunty like this. If anything good happens to me, she gets jealous and attacks me, because she has a bad life herself.

Is important to stay away from jealous people.

Also, everyone goes through shit. No matter what their life looks like on the outside.

YABVU. When you begrudge anyone anything it just impacts your own life. Move on or enjoy her friendship.

Usually when we are jealous of someone, it’s because they have something we want. You have to work out what that is and work your way to get it.

Envy is a natural and normal emotion, but difficult to deal with. Just remember, you have no idea what life has in store for her down the line. In the end, you might turn out to be the one with the blessed life.

@Blondiney those I know with an unusual amount of ‘wins’ quietly precision plan everything behind the scenes for years, with keen focus. They change anything that doesn’t serve them & re-route at setbacks.

What is a ‘fair share’ @Blondiney ? If you work hard and make sacrifices to have a career that pays well, should the rewards be capped because those who weren’t arsed will feel bad?

If you come out of an abusive relationship, work on your boundaries and self esteem and find a loving respectful relationship, should you be ashamed of that?

Some ‘wins’ like health, how you look or illness are out of our control. Most of what OP is jealous of are wins she could have had herself but hasn’t.

Fair share is a very subjective concept especially when the measure of fair is judged by people who begrudge every good thing someone else has.

Her success takes nothing from your life.

You are separate entities. If she was less successful, would it make you MORE successful? No. Of course not.

And would it genuinely make you happy if she had some misfortune and was less happy? If the answer is yes, you need to critically assess your jealousy issues, along with your self-esteem and your outlook on life. Perhaps some counselling on why you randomly feel so competitive with a person that has not even been in your life.

People will pick up on the fact that you are wishing misfortune on others - and they will not want you around. Negativity breeds negativity.

Also - a tip. Try being happy for her - fake it til you make if you have to. Enthusiastically sing her praises and only say positive things, not matter how much that jealousy is twisting inside you - not about just her, about all other woman in your life. You'd be surprised how much that can turn your way of thinking around, and it will also change how other people see you - and maybe you'll start to attract some of that success you're so desperate for.

Just be happy for her. Are you her friend or foe?

I bet she eats food too. How entitled.

Eh did you miss the part where OP said that her friend used to be in abusive relationship, and she's now in a happy relationship. ?

And the OP is still jealous of her friend , even though the friend is now in a happy relationship, after being in an abusive one

Are all your other friends single, childless, unemployed, and homeless? Because from everything you’ve said, those are the things she’s got that are too good. How fucking bizarre. Let me guess she has the sheer audacity to drive a car too doesn’t she?

People waste time being jealous, when they would be taking the time to improve their own life.

Jealous of someone's career - go back to UNi! Or do a course. Do something.

Jealous of someone else's relationship ? Improve your own relationship!

Some people seem to have more than their fair share of ‘wins’ though don’t they. It’s human to notice and question that.

Maybe you should? What's the harm in it?

When people have problems with envy or jealousy it's often because they either have low self esteem or are dissatisfied with their life.
Actually wishing someone ill isn't a nice trait.
I would concentrate on identifying what you aren't satisfied with in your own life and improving it.

How would your life improve if hers were worse?