Page 34 | Need a hand hold

Imbluedalale · 2024-10-17T22:39:29+00:00

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

Ruralretreating · 19/10/2024 16:15

Forgot to say, totally agree with what @TealPoet said about your strength and compassion. You can get through this.

ChoccieCornflake · 19/10/2024 16:14

You are truly lovely!!

Ruralretreating · 19/10/2024 15:33

So glad to hear you got some rest, are feeling good about the location and settling in. Natural to be disorientated I think and it sounds as though you need some time to process. Take it step by step and do things when you are ready.

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Imbluedalale · 19/10/2024 13:04

And I’ve got tears in my eyes reading what you’ve just wrote ChoccieCornflake.
Thank you . Thank you for believing in me even though I’m a stranger to you .
I wish I had a friend like all you lovely people on here .
I honestly can’t believe there’s strangers on the internet saying such nice things to me it doesn’t feel real . You are all amazing truly , thank you xx

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ChoccieCornflake · 19/10/2024 12:48

I've got tears in my eyes right now at how awesome you are! You are totally going to get through this and come out the other side even stronger than you are now!

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Imbluedalale · 19/10/2024 12:44

TealPoet · 19/10/2024 12:41

That’s so sweet! You’re doing what you need to do to be there for him and your other kids long-term. You can and will do this! Have a good afternoon and know that you deserve being loved and looked after <3

Thank you TealPoet.
And thank you for checking in with me you’re really so kind . I hope you have a lovely day xx

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TealPoet · 19/10/2024 12:41

That’s so sweet! You’re doing what you need to do to be there for him and your other kids long-term. You can and will do this! Have a good afternoon and know that you deserve being loved and looked after <3

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Imbluedalale · 19/10/2024 12:38

TealPoet · 19/10/2024 12:16

Wow, it’s wonderful that you’re already having the opportunity to do these things and that you are seizing that so eagerly. Honestly everything you’re doing just shows how strong you are and how well you can recover when that nasty little voice of your ex isn’t in your ear.

You have every right to be hurt by your mum’s reaction. I imagine it’s far too soon to be able to trust in her support again, and she’d need to prove she can be trusted. How utterly despicable that your ex has tried to drive you apart! You just keep going and stay strong. You’re doing amazingly. Every post you make shows your innate strength and compassion. Your ex stamped on that, tried to kill it, but he failed. It’s waking up now, and soon you’ll roar again :)

Thank you TealPoet.
This is so much better than being in a hotel room alone looking at 4 walls for 24 hours a day . I’m going to sit outside with a cup of tea and my book with a blanket wrapped round me for an hour after I’ve put a wash on. I’m going to try and make the most of the help and support whilst I’m here as next Friday I’ll be back in a hotel so I need some strength to do that . Then this afternoon they’ve got a steam shower thing with a seat in it so I’m going to have a long shower and then put an eye mask on and maybe read again. I miss my children so much and every time I think of them I keep getting upset so I’m trying to keep my mind busy and focus on other things . My youngest text me and said his game had been cancelled and he’s bored so I sent him some money to his bank account and now he’s happily playing fifa and said I’m best mum ever bless him . I can’t see him right now so if I can put a smile on his face by doing that it was worth it

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TealPoet · 19/10/2024 12:16

Wow, it’s wonderful that you’re already having the opportunity to do these things and that you are seizing that so eagerly. Honestly everything you’re doing just shows how strong you are and how well you can recover when that nasty little voice of your ex isn’t in your ear.

You have every right to be hurt by your mum’s reaction. I imagine it’s far too soon to be able to trust in her support again, and she’d need to prove she can be trusted. How utterly despicable that your ex has tried to drive you apart! You just keep going and stay strong. You’re doing amazingly. Every post you make shows your innate strength and compassion. Your ex stamped on that, tried to kill it, but he failed. It’s waking up now, and soon you’ll roar again :)

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Imbluedalale · 19/10/2024 12:09

TealPoet · 19/10/2024 11:48

I’m so glad you got some sleep! Take your time and do things when you’re ready - you don’t need to be on anyone else’s timetable! I hope your book is enjoyable :)

Thank you TealPoet.
Ive just done an Ocado order to come tomorrow as you make your own food here but it felt quite exciting doing it like I was a mum again can’t wait to make some basic teas like jacket potatoes and pasta etc . I’m also able to wash my own clothes here so I’ll have fresh washing again so I’ll do that today , I was washing my underwear in sink at hotel so this feels like a luxury . Truthfully I don’t think I’m ready for them to try and contact my mum I’m feeling hurt by her lack of concern for me and for going on holiday when I really needed her , I would understand if it was booked but it wasn’t it was a spur of the moment thing because she was stressed and it was making her poorly . Of course I don’t want her to feel stressed or poorly but I wasn’t in contact with her and she wasn’t with me so it was whatever ex was saying to her that caused it .

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TealPoet · 19/10/2024 11:48

I’m so glad you got some sleep! Take your time and do things when you’re ready - you don’t need to be on anyone else’s timetable! I hope your book is enjoyable :)

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Imbluedalale · 19/10/2024 11:19

Ruralretreating · 19/10/2024 10:25

How are you doing this morning OP?

Morning Ruralretreating.
ckudnt believe it when I woke up I’d managed to sleep for 6 hours ! I was given some medication to help me sleep but I’m still shocked. Feel abit disoriented this morning and was sat in kitchen having a cup of tea and my councillor came in and I’ve just started crying . My little one has football at the weekend and I could see out of the kitchen window a football field so I think that set me off . I was also talking about my mum and she thinks it might be best if one of them ring her and explain everything and tell my mum they have months and months of notes of the abuse from ex and to say my ex only started saying I was the abusive one when he kicked me out but I don’t think I’m ready for that . She also said I’m the one with hospital notes of injuries . What do you think? I’ve got a book beside me so I’m going to try and read a few pages and I’m gong to take my medication . I hope you have a nice weekend

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Ruralretreating · 19/10/2024 10:25

How are you doing this morning OP?

cherish123 · 18/10/2024 22:14

Poor you. You have been through so much. I don't think you're weak at all. Take care. X

ChoccieCornflake · 18/10/2024 22:09

Sleep well you absolute Superwoman!! Honestly, you have an extraordinary depth of insight and strength - even now when you are beset on all sides. When you are feeling better you're going to be a force to be reckoned with!

Caerulea · 18/10/2024 22:04

Just catching up & this place sounds lovely, probably exactly what you need & will really benefit you once your mind allows you to lean into it.

Wishing you an excellent & restful night's sleep.

itsmylife7 · 18/10/2024 22:02

Enjoy your lovely room and have a wonderful sleep .💤

Ruralretreating · 18/10/2024 21:57

Imbluedalale · 18/10/2024 19:44

Thank you Ruralretreating.
If reason I was here wasn’t so bad it would be like being on holiday . It’s a huge country style house I’ve never seen a kitchen so big and the way it’s set out and decorated is lovely . They’ve even got a library and Netflix ! I’ve been given some medication to help me sleep but I havnt taken it yet I’ll wait until later .

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That sounds a great location, and good you can see the positives of it. Sleep well OP.

TealPoet · 18/10/2024 21:48

Sleep well! I hope you have sweet dreams of the better times you’re now moving into.

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Imbluedalale · 18/10/2024 21:37

Good night all. Got pjs on and had my meds . Thank you 🙏 for helping me get through this xx

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Itiswhysofew · 18/10/2024 21:36

I hope I'm not too late to say nighty night😊 You've made it to your new beginning. You deserve a good life. Sleep tight😴

InactionIsAWeaponOfMassDestruction · 18/10/2024 20:56

So good to hear your updates. I hope you get a good nights sleep so you wake beginning to feel refreshed.
time to focus on you, @Imbluedalale. You’ve got this! 💐

edited for hitting ‘post’ too soon 🙄

TealPoet · 18/10/2024 20:19

Imbluedalale · 18/10/2024 20:18

Thank you TealPoet.
I’m rarely even thinking about ex and his mum right now . I was very upset when I found out he’d met somebody else whilst I was going through cancer treatment but I don’t think of that thought much anymore . When I do think of him it’s just to ask myself why really . I know people meet other people when they are already in a relationship but it’s all the other stuff he did that I didn’t deserve . I don’t miss him , I thought I would but I don’t . I don’t ever want him back it’s done . I just want to get better for myself and my children so I can start a new life with them and become a person again .

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Don’t ever doubt how strong you are! He wasn’t worthy of you.

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Imbluedalale · 18/10/2024 20:18

TealPoet · 18/10/2024 20:11

You’re doing amazingly. Your ex and his tribe are showing their true colours and I’m so glad you’re not near them or communicating with them. You have the opportunity now to rest and start getting your confidence back. You go for it!

Thank you TealPoet.
I’m rarely even thinking about ex and his mum right now . I was very upset when I found out he’d met somebody else whilst I was going through cancer treatment but I don’t think of that thought much anymore . When I do think of him it’s just to ask myself why really . I know people meet other people when they are already in a relationship but it’s all the other stuff he did that I didn’t deserve . I don’t miss him , I thought I would but I don’t . I don’t ever want him back it’s done . I just want to get better for myself and my children so I can start a new life with them and become a person again .

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TealPoet · 18/10/2024 20:11

You’re doing amazingly. Your ex and his tribe are showing their true colours and I’m so glad you’re not near them or communicating with them. You have the opportunity now to rest and start getting your confidence back. You go for it!