Page 26 | Need a hand hold

Imbluedalale · 2024-10-17T22:39:29+00:00

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

AdmittowearingCrocs · 26/10/2024 14:46

Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 00:32

It’s so lovely to hear from you AdmittowearingCrocs.
And I’m glad you’re good .
Im glad too that I came here, it’s much better than being in a hotel room going days without speaking to or seeing anybody. What really helps is the knowing that there’s help and support and somebody to talk to right outside my room. Even hearing people’s footsteps at night time comforts me .
I didn’t get my prescription today as the pharmacy had closed by time it was done but I will get it tomorrow . Awww what a lovely thoughtful thing to say about getting my prescription, thank you for thinking of me , your so kind xx

Hi @Imbluedalale , sorry to hear you didn’t sleep well last night. Hopefully once you get your sleeping tablets things will improve.
If you are worried about going back to the hotel can you treat yourself to a new inexpensive set of headphones and an adult colouring book and pencils from Amazon to keep your mind occupied while there? It might help keep you from spiralling downwards again. You have made so much progress lately and should be so proud of yourself, and you are always so kind to others. Time to be kind to yourself. 🌺

Apolloneuro · 26/10/2024 13:27

You’re a good person, L xxx

ps I’ve also looked up the perfume!

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 13:21

Apolloneuro · 26/10/2024 12:27

Ooh @Imbluedalale I sense a small shift in your mood. That’s brilliant. Remember recovery isn’t linear, so don’t panic if you dip a bit.

I’m feeling discombobulated because a neighbour was rude to one of my visitors because they were parked outside her house for one hour (plenty of other spaces) My visitor has been having a rough time lately and was upset.

I want to go and tell her off, but won’t because it’s not worth it. I also want to go and park my car outside her house, but again of course I won’t. I hate nastiness like that. It’s playing on my mind.

Sorry to offload on your thread @Imbluedalale xx

Hi Apolloneuro.
Sorry to hear about your neighbour and that she upset your visitor. I would want to tell her off too but I probably wouldn’t, some battles are not worth fighting . Try not to let it ruin your day or weekend though. And you don’t need to be sorry , I’m glad you can offload on here with me. I hate when things play on your mind and you think ‘I should have done this’ , ‘I should have said that’.
I remember when I was a few years younger and I had my indicator on in my car to pull into a space at my local shop . About 5 cars passed and the 6th one saw I had been waiting for the space and just pulled into it . Then he stopped his car and started reading a newspaper. I was fuming!
Anyway my temper got the better of me and once I parked up somewhere up the road I marched to his car and knocked on his window. I gave the poor man the fright of his life and still feel bad about it to this day xx

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Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 13:11

Caerulea · 26/10/2024 10:59

Morning @Imbluedalale (which, reminds me - that song sneaks into my head every time I pop here 😭)

Just been and caught up with your posts & looks like you're out the other side of a deep trough atm. Hopefully your anti-depressants start working properly soon, hadn't realised you'd been off them for 10 days! No wonder you felt all over the place!! I start to feel weird after 48 hrs if I miss doses (local dispensery are currently on a 10 day turnaround ffs) & that's just 50mg sertraline - 10 days off of 200mg? JFC that's torturous & would definitely go some way to explaining the nausea, appetite, sleep & mental knots etc etc.

Have you been able to give the new chap his mince pies yet?

Hi Caerulea.
How are you today?

Still no sleep for me but I don’t feel as bad as before , think my body is getting used to lack of sleep. And I love my sleep, before I used to sometimes have a nap in the day and go to bed 9/10pm and sleep through but that’s a while ago now .

I really hope I’m out the other side of the ‘storm’ but I know now I’m probably going to have good days, ok days and bad days. Whichever day I have though my life is still an absolute mess , I’m still without my children , I’m still homeless and I’ve still lost everybody else. But I can deal with all that better if my mental health improves but all that is having major impact on my mental health. So it’s frustrating Aswell.

My Ocado delivery isn’t coming until 8.30 this evening , that was the earliest slot they had so I’m looking forward to it coming and having a treat tonight and giving mince pies to the man resident . I don’t think he’s having a good day today so hopefully they might make him smile xx

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Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 13:01

TealPoet · 26/10/2024 10:28

I hope you slept and that today will have lots of good bits through it. Sending big hugs <3

Hi TealPoet.
How are you today? You have been in my thoughts and I hope today is better than yesterday for you.

You’re always saying nice , lovely things to me but you are going through struggles too and yet you still ask how I am and make the time and effort to post on my thread . Your amazing! And thank you xx

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Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 12:57

Munchyseeds2 · 26/10/2024 09:10

Morning lovely
Just been catching up....well now I have visions of us all going off to find Black Tulip (I know I will) and I had a little giggle (in a good way) about the wooden spoon....mines about 36 years old from Woolies so I think yours will be with you in your new life for a long time😁
When do you find out about the houses you have bid on?
Don't forget there are places like the British Heart Foundation where you can get some nice bits of furniture and I'm sure people will help you

You really do sound more positive than even a few days ago and it's great that you have been chatting to others a bit more
Take the good days (or even just the bits) and hang on to them for when the bad days creep up on you.

I hope you managed to get some sleep last night and can find some good bits in today...crafting, chatting or something funny on Netflix

Don't forget the clocks change tonight everyone! X

Hi Munchyseeds2.
I hope you are ok and enjoying your weekend?
I had a terrible sleep last night probably worst one since I’ve been here I was still wide awake at 6am!
I don’t feel too bad today tho from the lack of sleep.

I’m starting to feel anxious about going back to a hotel but I’m trying to just think about the here and now but it’s creeping up on me and making me feel nervous. I hope I can do it and not go backwards .
Im desperately missing my children , I feel like a huge part of me is missing , like I’ve got a big hole in my heart. But I’ve been thinking about this and whilst I want to be with them so much and want them with me I don’t want them having to live the life I’m going to be going back to , in a hotel room waiting to get a home. It’s not fair on them. I know they are safe , loved, warm and fed so I keep going back to that.

I would normally be thrilled at the idea of getting an extra hour in bed but it probably just means an extra hour of being wide awake 😂xx

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Apolloneuro · 26/10/2024 12:27

Ooh @Imbluedalale I sense a small shift in your mood. That’s brilliant. Remember recovery isn’t linear, so don’t panic if you dip a bit.

I’m feeling discombobulated because a neighbour was rude to one of my visitors because they were parked outside her house for one hour (plenty of other spaces) My visitor has been having a rough time lately and was upset.

I want to go and tell her off, but won’t because it’s not worth it. I also want to go and park my car outside her house, but again of course I won’t. I hate nastiness like that. It’s playing on my mind.

Sorry to offload on your thread @Imbluedalale xx

Caerulea · 26/10/2024 10:59

Morning @Imbluedalale (which, reminds me - that song sneaks into my head every time I pop here 😭)

Just been and caught up with your posts & looks like you're out the other side of a deep trough atm. Hopefully your anti-depressants start working properly soon, hadn't realised you'd been off them for 10 days! No wonder you felt all over the place!! I start to feel weird after 48 hrs if I miss doses (local dispensery are currently on a 10 day turnaround ffs) & that's just 50mg sertraline - 10 days off of 200mg? JFC that's torturous & would definitely go some way to explaining the nausea, appetite, sleep & mental knots etc etc.

Have you been able to give the new chap his mince pies yet?

TealPoet · 26/10/2024 10:28

I hope you slept and that today will have lots of good bits through it. Sending big hugs <3

Munchyseeds2 · 26/10/2024 09:10

Morning lovely
Just been catching up....well now I have visions of us all going off to find Black Tulip (I know I will) and I had a little giggle (in a good way) about the wooden spoon....mines about 36 years old from Woolies so I think yours will be with you in your new life for a long time😁
When do you find out about the houses you have bid on?
Don't forget there are places like the British Heart Foundation where you can get some nice bits of furniture and I'm sure people will help you

You really do sound more positive than even a few days ago and it's great that you have been chatting to others a bit more
Take the good days (or even just the bits) and hang on to them for when the bad days creep up on you.

I hope you managed to get some sleep last night and can find some good bits in today...crafting, chatting or something funny on Netflix

Don't forget the clocks change tonight everyone! X

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 00:32

It’s so lovely to hear from you AdmittowearingCrocs.
And I’m glad you’re good .
Im glad too that I came here, it’s much better than being in a hotel room going days without speaking to or seeing anybody. What really helps is the knowing that there’s help and support and somebody to talk to right outside my room. Even hearing people’s footsteps at night time comforts me .
I didn’t get my prescription today as the pharmacy had closed by time it was done but I will get it tomorrow . Awww what a lovely thoughtful thing to say about getting my prescription, thank you for thinking of me , your so kind xx

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AdmittowearingCrocs · 26/10/2024 00:24

Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 00:10

Hi AdmittowearingCrocs.
How are you? It’s lovely to hear from you.
Awww thank you so much for your lovely words . I will add them to my ‘nice things about me’ list. Thank you 🙏
I know it sounds silly but when I look at my spoon it gives me hope for getting a house and being able to start again . I havnt got any furniture but I’ve got a spoon so that’s a start isn’t it ? 😂
I am going through the worst time of my life but I do appreciate what I do have right now even though I’ve got nothing material wise. I’ve got an amazing mental health team , amazing support from the council , my children are warm, fed and safe . I have met 2 lovely residents whom are lovely and not only that but I’ve found all of you guys who are giving me incredible support and making me believe that things will get better.
I found out today that this place is funded by the charity ‘Rethink’ but it costs so much money for a resident like me to stay here so when I leave this place it’s going to be my charity of choice and I will be popping back one day with bags of toiletries and necessities for residents because it may have well saved my life xx

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@Imbluedalale I am good thanks. I am so pleased you were able to take up the offer of the place there, and it is so good to hear you are able to spend some time with other residents, like a tribe supporting each other. Also having the support from organisations that want to help you.
I love that you are able to look ahead and put your mind to supporting the charity that runs the residential place you are in, what a worthy cause to put your energy into.
once you get your house, people will rally round and make sure you have furniture and I know you will make it really cozy.
Did you manage to get your prescription? If I lived closer I would go and get it for you to make sure you had your meds to get a good nights sleep as that will do you the world of good. 💐

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 26/10/2024 00:10

AdmittowearingCrocs · 25/10/2024 23:50

@Imbluedalale I have been following your threads and posts since your first cry for help and a handhold. I never cease to be amazed how strong, kind and caring you are, even when you are struggling. You are one amazing woman.
I love that you have your wooden spoon that is now part of your future and has never been in your ex’s house. It is a symbol of your new start and future home and every time you use it in your new home, you will remember how far you have come. Sending hugs 🤗

Hi AdmittowearingCrocs.
How are you? It’s lovely to hear from you.
Awww thank you so much for your lovely words . I will add them to my ‘nice things about me’ list. Thank you 🙏
I know it sounds silly but when I look at my spoon it gives me hope for getting a house and being able to start again . I havnt got any furniture but I’ve got a spoon so that’s a start isn’t it ? 😂
I am going through the worst time of my life but I do appreciate what I do have right now even though I’ve got nothing material wise. I’ve got an amazing mental health team , amazing support from the council , my children are warm, fed and safe . I have met 2 lovely residents whom are lovely and not only that but I’ve found all of you guys who are giving me incredible support and making me believe that things will get better.
I found out today that this place is funded by the charity ‘Rethink’ but it costs so much money for a resident like me to stay here so when I leave this place it’s going to be my charity of choice and I will be popping back one day with bags of toiletries and necessities for residents because it may have well saved my life xx

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Original poster

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 23:55

Ruralretreating · 25/10/2024 23:18

You really are so kind and thoughtful to everyone. It really makes me smile. And I love the idea of your future self talking happily to the spoon. Enjoy those treats, and sharing them.
Not too much planned for the weekend, they always seem to get frittered away even when I try to insist on doing something. And home isn’t very relaxing. I do a hobby for an hour on Saturday mornings so that helps.

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Thank you so much Ruralretreating.
What hobby do you do?
I like nice chilled weekends , I’m actually craving making a Sunday roast. And doing boring things like washing my children’s clothes or mopping the floor. It’s strange what you miss when it’s no longer there.
I’ve had a jacket potato for my lunch today and a tea cake for my dinner.
Im hoping to watch a film tomorrow if I’m having an ok day , we will see xx

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AdmittowearingCrocs · 25/10/2024 23:50

@Imbluedalale I have been following your threads and posts since your first cry for help and a handhold. I never cease to be amazed how strong, kind and caring you are, even when you are struggling. You are one amazing woman.
I love that you have your wooden spoon that is now part of your future and has never been in your ex’s house. It is a symbol of your new start and future home and every time you use it in your new home, you will remember how far you have come. Sending hugs 🤗

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 23:21

TealPoet · 25/10/2024 23:11

There you go again - doing nice things to make other people happy and taking a sensible step to improve your own wellbeing! One day you’ll look back and marvel at yourself! I really wish you could stay longer where you are; it’s bringing out the best in you, but that said, I am CERTAIN you can keep going even somewhere else, and people here will still be with you.

I’m not having a good day to be honest. Between disability, physical illness, medicine side-effects and OCD being at a peak, it’s all going a bit pear-shaped! But I’ll be ok, and maybe tomorrow will be better :)

I hope you can get a bit of sleep. Lots of hugs for tonight.

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Awwww TealPoet.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re not having a good day . Just know your doing amazing and I think your amazing and a lovely person and anybody in your life is so very lucky to have someone like you.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you .
I like putting a smile on peoples faces whether it’s buying little treats , giving them a compliment or making them laugh.
The only thing I’m worried about is because I had an ok day yesterday and a good day today I’m expecting to have a bad day tomorrow or Sunday but I’m trying not to think about it too much.
I miss my children dreadfully but I know I will see them again soon when I’m feeling better and stronger and if ex doesn’t let me I will be stronger to fight for my right as their mum to see them xx

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Ruralretreating · 25/10/2024 23:18

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 22:59

Awww sounds lovely Ruralretreating.
Have you got any plans for the weekend?
I did a small Ocado order earlier today I was naughty and ordered a few treats and a box of biscuits to share with everyone. Also the nice resident whom I’ve been speaking to today mentioned he can’t wait to have a mince pie so I’ve ordered him some M&S mini mince pies so hopefully that will put a smile on his face xx

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You really are so kind and thoughtful to everyone. It really makes me smile. And I love the idea of your future self talking happily to the spoon. Enjoy those treats, and sharing them.
Not too much planned for the weekend, they always seem to get frittered away even when I try to insist on doing something. And home isn’t very relaxing. I do a hobby for an hour on Saturday mornings so that helps.

TealPoet · 25/10/2024 23:11

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 22:59

Awww sounds lovely Ruralretreating.
Have you got any plans for the weekend?
I did a small Ocado order earlier today I was naughty and ordered a few treats and a box of biscuits to share with everyone. Also the nice resident whom I’ve been speaking to today mentioned he can’t wait to have a mince pie so I’ve ordered him some M&S mini mince pies so hopefully that will put a smile on his face xx

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There you go again - doing nice things to make other people happy and taking a sensible step to improve your own wellbeing! One day you’ll look back and marvel at yourself! I really wish you could stay longer where you are; it’s bringing out the best in you, but that said, I am CERTAIN you can keep going even somewhere else, and people here will still be with you.

I’m not having a good day to be honest. Between disability, physical illness, medicine side-effects and OCD being at a peak, it’s all going a bit pear-shaped! But I’ll be ok, and maybe tomorrow will be better :)

I hope you can get a bit of sleep. Lots of hugs for tonight.

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 23:07

ChoccieCornflake · 25/10/2024 22:53

Oh that is fantastic, I am so glad you had such a lovely time! Thank you for asking me about my day - it was a bit meh, but to be honest hearing that you have had a good afternoon has made me happier too!

I am loving that you have a special spoon! I have a favourite desert spoon (it's lovely and curvy!) and my parents have favourite ones too. There is something superb about spoons!

You know what - I'm going to get some of that perfume too!! Shay and Blue are going to be like "what's going on, we're getting a massive rush on Black Tulip?!" 😀🌷

Hi ChoccieCornflake.
Sorry to hear you’ve had abit of a meh day , you should treat yourself with some biscuits !
Have you been upto anything this evening?
I was telling the man resident about my wooden spoon as was telling him about Ocado and he didn’t believe that I had a lovely wooden spoon in my suitcase so I went to get it and showed him and he said ‘now that is a lovely wooden spoon’ 😂
I’ve got to keep it forever now after all it’s with me through my worse time and if I get a new home I can open the drawer get my spoon out and say ‘we made it spoon’ 😂
You should definitely treat yourself to some black tulip! I should ask for commission 😂xx

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Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 22:59

Ruralretreating · 25/10/2024 21:51

Love the photo, nature has such health benefits. Highlight of my day was lunchtime walk with dog. Also need a good sleep I think!

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Awww sounds lovely Ruralretreating.
Have you got any plans for the weekend?
I did a small Ocado order earlier today I was naughty and ordered a few treats and a box of biscuits to share with everyone. Also the nice resident whom I’ve been speaking to today mentioned he can’t wait to have a mince pie so I’ve ordered him some M&S mini mince pies so hopefully that will put a smile on his face xx

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Original poster

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 22:56

TealPoet · 25/10/2024 21:35

That’s so lovely! Being happy for a while doesn’t minimise or negate your trauma - it’s such a good thing. TWO people who truly deserve to get better and be happy, not just one :)

Thank you TealPoet.
You’re so kind!
I hope you have had a lovely day?
There’s a new resident here tonight she’s only a year younger than me and she is lovely .
Ive just been sat on the patio with her outside listening to the rain xx

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ChoccieCornflake · 25/10/2024 22:53

Oh that is fantastic, I am so glad you had such a lovely time! Thank you for asking me about my day - it was a bit meh, but to be honest hearing that you have had a good afternoon has made me happier too!

I am loving that you have a special spoon! I have a favourite desert spoon (it's lovely and curvy!) and my parents have favourite ones too. There is something superb about spoons!

You know what - I'm going to get some of that perfume too!! Shay and Blue are going to be like "what's going on, we're getting a massive rush on Black Tulip?!" 😀🌷

Ruralretreating · 25/10/2024 21:51

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 14:06

Hi Ruralretreating.
I hope you are having a good day?
I managed a few hours but was up most of night still . Hopefully with new medication I will be able to get some sleep tonight .
I’m just sat at the kitchen table having a cup of tea looking at the trees outside xx

Love the photo, nature has such health benefits. Highlight of my day was lunchtime walk with dog. Also need a good sleep I think!

TealPoet · 25/10/2024 21:35

That’s so lovely! Being happy for a while doesn’t minimise or negate your trauma - it’s such a good thing. TWO people who truly deserve to get better and be happy, not just one :)

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 25/10/2024 20:00

I’m back.
You know what , I’ve actually had a nice afternoon . Don’t get me wrong I still feel terrible and upset and everything else but for a few hours this afternoon I’ve managed to talk about other things and I’ve been able to laugh which I never thought I’d do again.
We had the tv on but we didn’t watch it we just talked, about everything really from how we got here to what we like on Netflix and then we had a conversation about what we like we on cheese and crackers lol 😂 it’s honestly been lovely. And I’m more positive than ever that I really want him to get better because he honestly deserves all the happiness in the world.
My sleeping medication won’t be available to be picked up from the pharmacy until tomorrow so hopefully tomorrow night i can have a nice sleep . Hope you all have a good evening xx

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