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AIBU?

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Original poster

Need a hand hold

937 replies

Imbluedalale · 17/10/2024 23:39

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

OP posts:
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Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 11:39

CleverLemonCat · 30/10/2024 10:55

Agree with the MPs having clout. When I worked in housing benefits, any contact from an MP was escalated straight to top management. Keep going x

Ohhh that’s good to know CleverLemonCat,
My mental health letters , DV letters and cancer letters and my disability letters have made no difference upto now so let’s hope the MP can sort something out xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 11:37

TealPoet · 30/10/2024 10:53

You poor love! It says a lot that you found the DV easier, and that’s a horrifying indictment of how they’re treating you :(. I’m so so sorry the council are being so nasty. The MP email looks more promising. Do you feel able to give them the details they asked for and to ring the number they gave? I’m worried you’re under so much stress on no food or sleep.

Hi TealPoet,
I have replied to the MP email and given them the details they requested .
Im just on the phone to the council now but there’s a long hold .
Please don’t worry about me you already have enough going on with yourself and I cannot thank you enough for what you did last night . It’s the kindest thing anybody has ever done for me . It’s really touched my heart, thank you TealPoet xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 11:33

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 10:52

Excellent update from your MP. In my experience, MPs have clout.

Thank you Apolloneuro.
Fingers crossed 🤞 xx

OP posts:
ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 11:18

If I was anywhere close, I would be storming right now! Picture me with my "don't mess with me" face on!

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 11:05

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 10:44

Don't feel terrible!!! We care about you and you matter - that's nothing to feel bad about! You are going through a horrible situation and it pushed you to the edge - there's no shame or blame in that. Just know that you are not alone, and that you matter, and that we care.

Right now I wish I could give you another massive hug, and then storm into the council offices and give them what for! It's probably a good job I'm NOT near Doncaster!

Get that tea down you - tea is always good!

Show quote history

Thank you ChoccieCornflake,
Hopefully the MP will be giving st leger homes a call fingers crossed 🤞
I just think the council is so set on me going there that they won’t budge .
I would love to see you storm into the council offices it would make my day ! Xx

OP posts:
RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 11:04

I've just caught up with the email from the MPs office. That sounds positive, I'm so glad they've got back to you quickly.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like the emotional abuse daily was easier than things feel right now. The emotional abuse was gradually eroding your sense of self and MH for years. You're right in the storm of getting out just now. But in time, you will be able to rebuild your MH and you will end up in a better place in the end. I honestly wish I could take all this pain away from you and put you in that better place right now.

RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 10:59

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 09:05

Hi RaspberryBeretxx,
I can’t believe my mum either but I’m trying not to think about her lack of love and care for me because it upsets me tremendously, it actually hurts my insides when I think about it .
If a train had come on the platform I was on they would have been her last words to me. She knew I was on the streets with cancer and paralysed and she couldn’t care one bit . It breaks my heart.
I have no family I’ve lost everything and everyone .
The police were brilliant with me , all of them were . They were shocked at everything that has happened and that the council had put me there as they know it well as they get a lot of call outs there.
Thank you for the love and luck xx

Show quote history

I'm so sorry you had to go through this and you don't have other family. You're so lovely and caring, I'm sure in time when you get your house, you can build up a support network away from your abusive ex.

Glad you have a kettle and that you're remembering to take your medication. Try and keep hydrated especially if you're being sick and try some small bites of food if you can. It sounds like your body is just in shock with all the stress hormones inside it.

Sorry also that you've had to wait again for the council to call and they haven't. I think ringing at 11 is a good plan. Just keep breaking the day up into small bits and focus on the next thing to do - whether that's a cup of tea, take medication, go to the vending machine, ring the council etc. You can write it in this thread what your next thing to do is and what time if that helps.

AdmittowearingCrocs · 30/10/2024 10:58

@Imbluedalale I agree with @Apolloneuro about MP’s having clout. When I worked in adult social services as a social worker, if we had an email from an MP, we would prioritise the issue being raised so hopefully it works like that for you too.

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 10:57

That's a great reply from the MP. It's absolutely dreadful what you are going through.

More hugs incoming at you!!

CleverLemonCat · 30/10/2024 10:55

Agree with the MPs having clout. When I worked in housing benefits, any contact from an MP was escalated straight to top management. Keep going x

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:53

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 10:30

Massive hugs you wonderful woman. No wonder you are stressed! I'm so so sorry you are going through all this

Thank you ChoccieCornflake,
Hugs are definitely needed today thank you .
Please don’t be sorry it’s not your fault, it’s really really crap and it’s severely affecting my mental health but that’s nobodies fault xx

OP posts:
TealPoet · 30/10/2024 10:53

You poor love! It says a lot that you found the DV easier, and that’s a horrifying indictment of how they’re treating you :(. I’m so so sorry the council are being so nasty. The MP email looks more promising. Do you feel able to give them the details they asked for and to ring the number they gave? I’m worried you’re under so much stress on no food or sleep.

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 10:52

Excellent update from your MP. In my experience, MPs have clout.

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:51

AdmittowearingCrocs · 30/10/2024 10:25

@Imbluedalale I literally cried as I read your update about the police finding you, and as a mum I cannot believe the callousness of your mother.
I am another one that is so glad you didn’t succeed at the train station. Please know that you are very valuable and special, and so many of us care about you.
Please don’t tell the council you have extra nights booked at the Travelodge, they will just use it to justify not sorting a suitable place for you.
Did the police say they were going to raise a safeguarding referral about you to adult social services as that is what they should do. Also, please contact your own social worker to let them know your situation as they are able to liaise with the council as another professional on your side. You need to get as many professionals as possible to put pressure on the council to provide suitable housing that doesn’t put you at risk and meets your needs.
Sending big hugs and hopes for a better day 🤗💐

Awww I’m so sorry for making you cry AdmittowearingCrocs,
Thank you so much with your kind words , they mean everything to me .
Yes a safeguarding referral has been done .
I never thought I’d say this but life was better when I was getting knocked about a-bit and having emotional abuse every day. I thought that was hell but this …..
I’ve got my support workers phoning the council this morning but they won’t budge still xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:46

Email update from MP…

Need a hand hold
OP posts:
ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 10:44

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:30

Thank you ChoccieCornflake,
Im so sorry I had you all worried I feel terrible for that 😞
Thank you for the hug I really needed it .
And thank you for calling Rethink and seeing if I was ok xx

Show quote history

Don't feel terrible!!! We care about you and you matter - that's nothing to feel bad about! You are going through a horrible situation and it pushed you to the edge - there's no shame or blame in that. Just know that you are not alone, and that you matter, and that we care.

Right now I wish I could give you another massive hug, and then storm into the council offices and give them what for! It's probably a good job I'm NOT near Doncaster!

Get that tea down you - tea is always good!

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:39

CleverLemonCat · 30/10/2024 10:20

Am so relieved you are safe today. Was worried for you last night, can't think of any words of comfort right now but am sending you a big hug. Hoping the homeless team will find you somewhere more suitable today.

Thank you very much CleverLemonCat,
Im honestly overwhelmed with all your lovely caring messages . It’s makes me feel less alone. I honestly never thought leaving and being homeless would be this bad .
Thank you for the hug it is greatly appreciated today xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:37

RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 09:40

That’s a great idea to contact your mp.

One option with the council is just to not mention the extra days already booked for now. Then if you get a decent council option you can just take it. A hotel overlap isn’t the worst thing that could happen right now and @TealPoet ’s huge generosity will still mean you can get through today knowing that whatever the council do, you’ll have a secure place.

hope you can get some food even if it’s vending machine. Do you have a kettle in there? At least you can have a cup of tea. If you can make it out even just to a garage or small shop nearby, you could get noodles/instant pasta and instant porridge pots if you like them to have something warm. If I was nearer I’d come and bring you some food and a big cuddle!

Please stay safe. Lots of love and hugs xx

Thank you RaspberryBeretxx,
I do feel safe here and thanks to @TealPoet i don’t have to worry about leaving at 12pm today.
I have sent a long email to my MP.
Yes I have a kettle I need to take my medication so I will have a cup of tea soon . I was promised a call from council at 8am this morning and they still havnt rang . Will give it until 11am and then call them xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:33

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 09:38

I was so all over the place last night - reading my messages back, it sounds like I started the search going. That was absolutely not the case - Rethink and the police were already looking for you Laura when I called. I'm so so glad they were, and that they found you.

I know they was ChoccieCornflake,
I wasn’t going to that hotel they wanted me to go to I was adamant about that . I got upset when they said having a fear of men is not a valid reason for turning it down . I just felt absolute despair I still do now tbh xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:30

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 09:28

I have just logged on and seen you are safe - I can't tell you how happy I am!! Massive massive hug incoming - watch out, here it comes!! I'm actually lost for words in relief!

Thank you ChoccieCornflake,
Im so sorry I had you all worried I feel terrible for that 😞
Thank you for the hug I really needed it .
And thank you for calling Rethink and seeing if I was ok xx

OP posts:
ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 10:30

Massive hugs you wonderful woman. No wonder you are stressed! I'm so so sorry you are going through all this

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:28

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 09:24

Laura, before you do that, can you make it down to the vending machine and get a snack and some water, please. Eat it and drink. Then email. Got to keep your strength up.

I’m really not hungry Apolloneuro,
Ive been being sick this morning a few times think it’s with all the stress xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 10:26

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 09:22

Might the police now be able to put pressure on the council? Can you remember any of the names of the officers from last night? They’re an official agency, not a charity as that has caused issues.

The police spoke to the council last night and said it’s really not acceptable where they was wanting to put me , they wouldn’t budge at first took about 3 phone calls until they did .
The police officer name was PC Dillalo I can’t remember name of other one but PC Dillalo was the main one there for me .
I have just sent an email to the MP but it says it may take 14 days to get back to me xx

OP posts:
AdmittowearingCrocs · 30/10/2024 10:25

@Imbluedalale I literally cried as I read your update about the police finding you, and as a mum I cannot believe the callousness of your mother.
I am another one that is so glad you didn’t succeed at the train station. Please know that you are very valuable and special, and so many of us care about you.
Please don’t tell the council you have extra nights booked at the Travelodge, they will just use it to justify not sorting a suitable place for you.
Did the police say they were going to raise a safeguarding referral about you to adult social services as that is what they should do. Also, please contact your own social worker to let them know your situation as they are able to liaise with the council as another professional on your side. You need to get as many professionals as possible to put pressure on the council to provide suitable housing that doesn’t put you at risk and meets your needs.
Sending big hugs and hopes for a better day 🤗💐

CleverLemonCat · 30/10/2024 10:20

Am so relieved you are safe today. Was worried for you last night, can't think of any words of comfort right now but am sending you a big hug. Hoping the homeless team will find you somewhere more suitable today.