Page 16 | Need a hand hold

Imbluedalale · 2024-10-17T22:39:29+00:00

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

TealPoet · 30/10/2024 16:11

I’m so sorry they keep being so rude :(

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 16:05

Hi all,
I thought I’d give you all an update.
I was on and off napping as feel exhausted but had a few phone calls in between.
So the manager at the council homeless team called me , she really really doesn’t like me and her tone with me wasn’t very nice at all.
She said she wanted to get things from my perspective as she had spoken to my mental health team and creative support about everything. Creative support the lady who’s helping me bless her has been on her day off today but she’s been on the phone and emailing from home all day about this . She has sent the council every single bit of medical evidence re the cancer, mental health and my paralysis. (Even though this had already been sent ) . The council then turned around and did a complete 360 on her and said that due to my mental health they wouldn’t be able to accommodate me and said mental health need to find me suitable accommodation (basically being sectioned) . My mental health team and the police have told me that they don’t think I need this , I don’t think I need this either .
So my mental health team have spoken to the manager at the council and had a long chat and my mental health team have also sent a long email to the manager and to the manager at domestic abuse at the council saying that the accommodation they provided wasn’t suitable , they don’t think the council should try and pull out of helping and that all of this is causing me distress. They added that all I want is to be accommodated somewhere safe until I get get a home.
Anyway the manager at the council rang me and asked for my view on things . So I told her the main reason being it full of men and ex convicts and she said ‘well there’s 24 hr security’ and I said I know there is but the reason for that is because of how rowdy it is , how many fights break out and the police being called there constantly. She said that I didn’t even go and look at the accommodation. I said I didn’t need to look I had all the evidence I needed Aswell as all the professionals supporting me saying it wasn’t suitable . She said that because I have refused the homeless application that it would seem I lose my homeless status but because of everyone involved they wouldn’t do that. I told her that I am disappointed at how I have been treated by the council and the things that were said to me and their complete lack of compassion and she said ‘well I wasn’t there to hear that so I can’t comment on it’. I also told her that I have made a complaint to the MP and she said ‘you’ve already made me aware of that’ . The whole call made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Anyway she said she will look into it further so that’s where I’m at the moment xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 15:51

HopeMumsnet · 30/10/2024 13:46

Hello everyone,

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circumstances, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you feel more settled and sorted soon.

It’s ok HopeMumsnet,
I am genuine and I am me and everything I have said is genuine and what I’m going through is genuine unfortunately.
Also I have never asked for any help nor would I ever ask people for money/gifts.
But thank you for checking and thank you for allowing me to use your network to be able to talk to people and not feel so alone .

OP posts:

Ruralretreating · 30/10/2024 15:01

Glad MP office was responsive. Was strong of you to contact them yourself. I’m in non-stop meetings today but will check in on thread later to see where things have got to. Try not to take the bureaucracy/snideness to heart, easier said than done I know, I always get upset with this stuff especially when at a low ebb

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 14:57

All fingers, and spoons, crossed for you!!

RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 14:54

I have everything still crossed for you @Imbluedalale for a phone call soon with some good news. Hope you've managed a few cups of tea and to eat something. Sending some hugs.

AdmittowearingCrocs · 30/10/2024 14:48

Hope you get to speak with the manager soon @Imbluedalale
They are taking their time 😕

TealPoet · 30/10/2024 14:01

Have they had the manager call you back yet love? Any progress?

MNHQ

HopeMumsnet · 30/10/2024 13:46

Hello everyone,

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circumstances, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you feel more settled and sorted soon.

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 13:39

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 30/10/2024 12:57

And how out of step is the comment about the Ritz? My nan used to say that and she’s been dead for 30 years!
I am sat here watching the budget. Not a political statement but while they discuss billions and percentage points there is a lady here who is homeless because she’s been abused. The man is living as if nothing has happened. She has cancer and also cannot walk properly. She has been rescued from suicide yesterday.
Today she has to advocate for herself and a whole group of people who should be co~ordinated to help aren’t. It is an absolute scandal in 2024 that a vulnerable and very poorly lady is being treated this way.
Reading this thread has opened my eyes to so much. It’s not a story in a newspaper it’s someone talking with huge honesty about their life.
This is a lady who contributed to society and is a mum. She’s clearly a very capable person but because of abuse has lost everything.
With good care, help and support this lady can get her life back, build her confidence, be an active mum once more.
She’s not a drain on anyone, her life is valuable and precious.
Hope you don’t mind my words @Imbluedalale

Absolutely this!!

It's one thing for councils to lack funding and houses and whatever, but its the total and utter lack of compassion from them that astounds me. How can anyone with a heart say the things they have said?

Meanwhile33 · 30/10/2024 13:13

I have just read your whole thread and I’m in awe of you, of what an incredible person you are, to be able to be so kind, compassionate and even funny while you’re living through such horrific circumstances. I really hope you get better news today and that your MP goes on the warpath on your behalf.

RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 13:12

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 30/10/2024 12:57

And how out of step is the comment about the Ritz? My nan used to say that and she’s been dead for 30 years!
I am sat here watching the budget. Not a political statement but while they discuss billions and percentage points there is a lady here who is homeless because she’s been abused. The man is living as if nothing has happened. She has cancer and also cannot walk properly. She has been rescued from suicide yesterday.
Today she has to advocate for herself and a whole group of people who should be co~ordinated to help aren’t. It is an absolute scandal in 2024 that a vulnerable and very poorly lady is being treated this way.
Reading this thread has opened my eyes to so much. It’s not a story in a newspaper it’s someone talking with huge honesty about their life.
This is a lady who contributed to society and is a mum. She’s clearly a very capable person but because of abuse has lost everything.
With good care, help and support this lady can get her life back, build her confidence, be an active mum once more.
She’s not a drain on anyone, her life is valuable and precious.
Hope you don’t mind my words @Imbluedalale

This is so powerful. Please god let things change so others don’t have to go through this. It’s just horrific treatment for someone who, through no fault of their own, is very vulnerable.

Thinking of you @Imbluedalale , desperately hoping your next phone call brings good news.

Munchyseeds2 · 30/10/2024 13:10

Hang in there lovely!
You are amazing and doing SO well, I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you really are

You are making life difficult for the people at the council and they are getting it in the neck because they have messed up, hopefully the MP will help

Wish there was more I could do but I'm miles away from you, I will just keep cheering u on and sending love

Please try and eat something nice ....send out for something?? Xx

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 13:07

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 13:03

Good girl. I’m a retired school teacher, don’t mean to be patronising. Xx

Show quote history

Apolloneuro,
I don’t think that at all! I am very appreciative of your advice and help, thank you xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 13:05

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 30/10/2024 12:57

And how out of step is the comment about the Ritz? My nan used to say that and she’s been dead for 30 years!
I am sat here watching the budget. Not a political statement but while they discuss billions and percentage points there is a lady here who is homeless because she’s been abused. The man is living as if nothing has happened. She has cancer and also cannot walk properly. She has been rescued from suicide yesterday.
Today she has to advocate for herself and a whole group of people who should be co~ordinated to help aren’t. It is an absolute scandal in 2024 that a vulnerable and very poorly lady is being treated this way.
Reading this thread has opened my eyes to so much. It’s not a story in a newspaper it’s someone talking with huge honesty about their life.
This is a lady who contributed to society and is a mum. She’s clearly a very capable person but because of abuse has lost everything.
With good care, help and support this lady can get her life back, build her confidence, be an active mum once more.
She’s not a drain on anyone, her life is valuable and precious.
Hope you don’t mind my words @Imbluedalale

PeggyMitchellsCameo,
That has brought tears rolling down my face . To read it in someone else’s words , the fact that you wrote all that down , about me . That you’ve listened and not missed anything out. That somebody whom I’ve never met in person cares about me (sobbing now) thank you @PeggyMitchellsCameo thank you so much xx

OP posts:

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 13:03

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 13:00

I’ve just written it in my notes Apolloneuro.
Thank you.
They just have no compassion whatsoever xx

Show quote history

Good girl. I’m a retired school teacher, don’t mean to be patronising. Xx

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 13:00

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 12:40

That Ritz comment is disgraceful. When things have settled think about making a complaint to your MP about that. Make a note now of the date and time it was made, for future reference.

I’ve just written it in my notes Apolloneuro.
Thank you.
They just have no compassion whatsoever xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 12:57

RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 12:35

😂. Oh nooooo! I'll just go with the pens then... Maybe a few biscuits and tea bags.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂xx

OP posts:

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 30/10/2024 12:57

And how out of step is the comment about the Ritz? My nan used to say that and she’s been dead for 30 years!
I am sat here watching the budget. Not a political statement but while they discuss billions and percentage points there is a lady here who is homeless because she’s been abused. The man is living as if nothing has happened. She has cancer and also cannot walk properly. She has been rescued from suicide yesterday.
Today she has to advocate for herself and a whole group of people who should be co~ordinated to help aren’t. It is an absolute scandal in 2024 that a vulnerable and very poorly lady is being treated this way.
Reading this thread has opened my eyes to so much. It’s not a story in a newspaper it’s someone talking with huge honesty about their life.
This is a lady who contributed to society and is a mum. She’s clearly a very capable person but because of abuse has lost everything.
With good care, help and support this lady can get her life back, build her confidence, be an active mum once more.
She’s not a drain on anyone, her life is valuable and precious.
Hope you don’t mind my words @Imbluedalale

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 12:56

RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 12:32

That's so so rude of them to say that you can't have the Ritz and just shows they're totally not understanding the situation. Just keep remembering all the people who agree with YOU (the police, your support workers, all of us!).

You did make me laugh though with "I've got her on the phone, the Ritz girl"!

I’m glad I made you laugh RaspberryBeretxx.
They are definitely not understanding the situation, how can DV not be a contributing factor as to why I don’t want to go there? It makes you wonder if they make it this hard then how many women end up going back to their ex partner? Xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 12:53

ChoccieCornflake · 30/10/2024 12:29

You are so awesome - to have this much fight and strength in you after all you've been through, and especially after yesterday! You are getting there!

That comment about the Ritz is APPALLING - honestly, where is their compassion (and professionalism!!).

Thank you ChoccieCornflake,
I don’t actually have any fight or strength left but I’m doing all I can to advocate for myself . And maybe , just maybe the council might think twice next time about putting a woman who has had to flee DV in a hostel full of men xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 12:50

TealPoet · 30/10/2024 12:29

You are such a strong, beautiful woman! Do NOT let them get in your head. They’re projecting their sourness onto you because they’re messing up and they know it.

At no point have you asked for the Ritz. You’ve asked for 2 things - safe, and accessible. The police managed that last night. So did I. So they must be able to as well.

I can’t join the brigade from my bed but I can supply pens (that’s my nerdy hobby). I don’t like tea, though - will that get me barred? 😂

Thank you TealPoet,
Your lovely words and help and support mean so much .
I’ll wait until 3ish and I’ll call them back . They actually don’t care if I end up on the streets it’s like I don’t matter .
And you TealPoet have a special pass to join the brigade . You could maybe paint our spoons so we are a ‘chic brigade’ xx

OP posts:

Apolloneuro · 30/10/2024 12:40

That Ritz comment is disgraceful. When things have settled think about making a complaint to your MP about that. Make a note now of the date and time it was made, for future reference.

AdmittowearingCrocs · 30/10/2024 12:37

TealPoet · 30/10/2024 12:29

You are such a strong, beautiful woman! Do NOT let them get in your head. They’re projecting their sourness onto you because they’re messing up and they know it.

At no point have you asked for the Ritz. You’ve asked for 2 things - safe, and accessible. The police managed that last night. So did I. So they must be able to as well.

I can’t join the brigade from my bed but I can supply pens (that’s my nerdy hobby). I don’t like tea, though - will that get me barred? 😂

You won’t get barred, we will make good coffee or hot chocolate if that is what you prefer. 😂

RaspberryBeretxx · 30/10/2024 12:35

Imbluedalale · 30/10/2024 12:32

Sorry RaspberryBeretxx
but Doncaster council don’t use printing paper it’s classed as a luxury here so we send the request for what we want printing to the London council offices and there is a 450 day turnaround time xx

Show quote history

😂. Oh nooooo! I'll just go with the pens then... Maybe a few biscuits and tea bags.