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AIBU?

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Original poster

Need a hand hold

937 replies

Imbluedalale · 17/10/2024 23:39

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

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Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 18:39

ChoccieCornflake · 31/10/2024 17:11

I'm off to the pub in a moment, but I hope you've had a good day Laura and that the council come through for you ASAP. Chat tomorrow!

I hope you have a lovely wonderful time at the pub and that your wearing your warrior perfume xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 18:36

RaspberryBeretxx · 31/10/2024 17:07

Hi to all the other wooden spoon crew members!

Youre so young Laura, so much life to live yet! Sounds like you need a mobility scooter - my DP bought a broken one from eBay for £10 and it just needed a new battery which was £40. He took it apart and made a little car for my DS - he absolutely loved it! I’ll have to ask him if he thinks it’s possible to do similar without making it into a little car!

Youre all brave to listen to the true crime podcasts etc! I get a bit scared 🙈. Although I do love a good thriller/crime novel. When Dp isn’t around, I like watching really trashy romance reality shows like love is blind and I’m currently on married at first sight uk 🙈.

I’m 45 and have DS12 with exH who had an affair while ds was tiny and we split - incredibly traumatic at the time with a non sleeping 6 month old baby but we got through it and all ok now - massively in part due to my incredible parents which is why I feel so devastated that your mum is being how she is. I don’t know how I’d have coped so I truly know how incredible you are to be still battling on and with all your extra issues on top of what I was facing. I also have Dd3 with DP. DP and I don’t live fully together due to location of his work, my ds etc. I actually quite like having a bit of space from each other sometimes 🙈🙈. I work part time from home in publishing but I’d love to retrain as a dietician. That’s all a bit outing but nevermind 😂.

Hi RaspberryBeretxx,
Oh I’d love a mobility scooter just to be able to get out and get in the fresh air .
I’m hoping that my FND improves , my oncologist said it varies person to person , it could take months or years . I wasn’t able to wiggle my fingers or toes before so it’s definitely improved since then.
I have a neurology appointment on Monday so hopefully I’ll know abit more then.
I love trashy romance , there’s a film on Netflix called ‘My Fault’ it’s a Spanish film but it’s so good and trashy at its finest . My daughter loved it and now all her friends have watched it.
Im so sorry to hear about your ex, it seems that they always crap on you when we are at our most vulnerable. Your so strong to get through that and I bet your an amazing momma.
Ohh publishing, I might get you to help me with my book 🥰xx

OP posts:
Munchyseeds2 · 31/10/2024 18:35

Hello lovely
Apply for everything you can as soon as possible - I think it's backdated to the day you claim, ( it always used to be) no matter how long they take to sort it out...I'm sure any extra money would be very welcome when you get your house

How are you doing today? Any progress?
Hope you are feeling a bit less sick and have managed to eat more than a croissant

I love a bit of telly me....watching joan on itvx at the min, I also like those ch5 dramas they do over 4 nights.

I read the Tattooist of Auschwitz...I thought it was really good, made me cry.
I also like anything by kate. Morton xx

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 18:28

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 31/10/2024 14:38

I’m listening to a podcast called The Great Dictators. Lots of stuff about Hitler and Stalin. Wouldn’t recommend it if you want to cheer yourself up.
I class myself as quite bright so if anyone asks I’ll recommend the latest ‘great’ read but what I’m really doing is reading Jilly Cooper and Richard Osman, and watching Dinnerladies and The Royle Family.
Have just watched the two part special about homelessness led by Prince William. It’s a decent watch. The emphasis does tend to be on people with addiction and MH issues.
I think after reading this thread there needs to be far more attention to what happens to women fleeing abuse.
I also know that women who are disabled are statistically more prone to domestic abuse but the support available to them is poor. Very few refuges have facilities for women in wheelchairs, for example.
Do understand in your case OP that you want to let sleeping dogs lie and leave your DC in the care of your ex, but it’s infuriating to read about him.
I have a good friend who runs a DV charity. She was a victim of terrible abuse, including a physical injury that has left her disabled for life. She had a very, very close family and this man even convinced her parents she was mad/abusive/dangerous.
It did take a while but she had rebuilt her life. Her children are very close to her now and her parents are mortified they entertained him.

Oh and I’m sorry to hear that your friend was a victim of abuse . I definitely understand the family bit , my ex used to constantly slag my family off (they couldn’t have been that bad since he slept with my sister when I was pregnant) but the last couple of months he had started contacting them unbeknown to me to start planting the seed that I was crazy and abusive so now all my family think that I am . I’ve lost all of them xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 18:24

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 31/10/2024 15:55

Yep. I get stuck into something highbrow and think sod it I will put Eastenders on!
Not that Eastenders is cheerful. I have been watching Classic Corrie and Les and Cilla Battersby are televisual gold.
I am just about to watch The Diplomat on Netflix which is a bit classier.
I am trying to imagine Les Battersby as a diplomat - now that’s a comedy!

Show quote history

I love old corrie PeggyMitchellsCameo,
I think it was so much better then. I once did a tour of Coronation Street (years ago) and met Fred Elliot you know the butcher that used to say ‘I say, I say’?. I think he’s passed away now bless him xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 18:22

Apolloneuro · 31/10/2024 15:47

Are you confident that you’re claiming everything you’re entitled to, Laura? Do you get PIP?

I’m not at the moment although I do get PIP, I’ve actually just had a review, they only have my mental health down on there so I needed to add the cancer and FND but apparently there’s a huge backlog so it will probably be a while to hear from them .
I’ve also been told I can have a small grant from MacMillan but I wanted to wait until I’ve got a home to sort that out xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 18:19

Apolloneuro · 31/10/2024 15:02

Oh Laura. You’re so young. One of my kids is 40.

You might like this. I love Lucy Worsley. She came to my city and did a talk about Jane Austin and is sooo pretty in real life. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0016pq3

Edited

Thank you Apolloneuro,
That looks interesting I’ll have a listen to that, thank you for the recommendation .
I definitely don’t feel young I’ve definitely aged this year . It’s crazy what stress can do to you xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 18:14

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 31/10/2024 14:38

I’m listening to a podcast called The Great Dictators. Lots of stuff about Hitler and Stalin. Wouldn’t recommend it if you want to cheer yourself up.
I class myself as quite bright so if anyone asks I’ll recommend the latest ‘great’ read but what I’m really doing is reading Jilly Cooper and Richard Osman, and watching Dinnerladies and The Royle Family.
Have just watched the two part special about homelessness led by Prince William. It’s a decent watch. The emphasis does tend to be on people with addiction and MH issues.
I think after reading this thread there needs to be far more attention to what happens to women fleeing abuse.
I also know that women who are disabled are statistically more prone to domestic abuse but the support available to them is poor. Very few refuges have facilities for women in wheelchairs, for example.
Do understand in your case OP that you want to let sleeping dogs lie and leave your DC in the care of your ex, but it’s infuriating to read about him.
I have a good friend who runs a DV charity. She was a victim of terrible abuse, including a physical injury that has left her disabled for life. She had a very, very close family and this man even convinced her parents she was mad/abusive/dangerous.
It did take a while but she had rebuilt her life. Her children are very close to her now and her parents are mortified they entertained him.

Oh I morbidly love reading about Hitler. Have you watched ‘The Tattooist of Auschwitz’? Oh it was so good! It’s a true story and is based on a man called Lali Sokolov whom was a Jewish holocaust survivor. He had to tattoo the numbers onto the prisoners when they arrived at camp. I then ordered and read the book after watching that. It was so good! I absolutely adore Lali. Anyway after reading the book I as I always do when I find something interesting went down a rabbit hole on google. There was a Nazi concentration camp guard called Irma Grese. Wow she was one evil woman! She was only 20. I read that she used to roam the female camps looking for her next victims. She had a fascination for breasts. She used to wear rare and expensive perfumes to torment the prisoners (she would have loved black tulip!) She was fond of lashing well endowed women on the breasts with her whip so badly that many of the women developed infections from the sores. And she picked the well endowed women to be operated on without any anaesthesia. It was very sad but a fascinating read.
I love watching the Royle Family, I also love trash tv. I saw that prince William had a documentary out.
I did read today that 66.3% of women who left domestic abuse return to their partners and as horrible as it sounds I can see why . Because it is so hard trying to survive and getting support. In my darkest moments I actually think to myself ‘It wasn’t as bad as what I’m going through now’ and craving to be back there because this is too much.
Also 40% of homeless women state that DV is a contributing factor to homelessness xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 17:47

nornironlady · 31/10/2024 14:26

Laura Richards started on Real Crime Profile with Jim Clemente who also worked at FBI so they have great insight on some high profile cases without ever making a hero out of the perpetrators or sensationalising the story. I like reading thrillers and mystery, I did watch that film but I don't think I ever read the book. I have a list of authors so I can keep up with their latest releases. I spend way too much money on books!

I love thrillers and mystery . I read a good book a few weeks ago it was called ‘An eye for an eye’ it was based on 9 criminals who have been given lifelong anonymity in the UK because of their crimes. And somebody exposes their identities to the victims families who obviously want revenge . It was really good! I will definitely listen to Laura Richard’s . Thank you for the recommendation xx

OP posts:
ChoccieCornflake · 31/10/2024 17:11

I'm off to the pub in a moment, but I hope you've had a good day Laura and that the council come through for you ASAP. Chat tomorrow!

RaspberryBeretxx · 31/10/2024 17:09

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 31/10/2024 15:55

Yep. I get stuck into something highbrow and think sod it I will put Eastenders on!
Not that Eastenders is cheerful. I have been watching Classic Corrie and Les and Cilla Battersby are televisual gold.
I am just about to watch The Diplomat on Netflix which is a bit classier.
I am trying to imagine Les Battersby as a diplomat - now that’s a comedy!

Show quote history

Ooh, is the new series of the Diplomat out yet? I really enjoyed the last series and think there’s a new one coming.

RaspberryBeretxx · 31/10/2024 17:07

Hi to all the other wooden spoon crew members!

Youre so young Laura, so much life to live yet! Sounds like you need a mobility scooter - my DP bought a broken one from eBay for £10 and it just needed a new battery which was £40. He took it apart and made a little car for my DS - he absolutely loved it! I’ll have to ask him if he thinks it’s possible to do similar without making it into a little car!

Youre all brave to listen to the true crime podcasts etc! I get a bit scared 🙈. Although I do love a good thriller/crime novel. When Dp isn’t around, I like watching really trashy romance reality shows like love is blind and I’m currently on married at first sight uk 🙈.

I’m 45 and have DS12 with exH who had an affair while ds was tiny and we split - incredibly traumatic at the time with a non sleeping 6 month old baby but we got through it and all ok now - massively in part due to my incredible parents which is why I feel so devastated that your mum is being how she is. I don’t know how I’d have coped so I truly know how incredible you are to be still battling on and with all your extra issues on top of what I was facing. I also have Dd3 with DP. DP and I don’t live fully together due to location of his work, my ds etc. I actually quite like having a bit of space from each other sometimes 🙈🙈. I work part time from home in publishing but I’d love to retrain as a dietician. That’s all a bit outing but nevermind 😂.

nornironlady · 31/10/2024 16:04

@PeggyMitchellsCameo My DS10 loves Corrie! He stumbled upon some clips of classic David Platt and couldn't believe it! He would love good old Les. It's in the genes, my Mum and her Mum were avid fans. My Mum, son and I are going to take the star tour early next year, they can't wait.

ChoccieCornflake · 31/10/2024 15:56

I must admit I am a sucker for a bit of Road Wars, Police Interceptors, etc etc!

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 31/10/2024 15:55

nornironlady · 31/10/2024 14:42

@PeggyMitchellsCameo I love Richard Osman. His podcast is very good. So many fact on the world of entertainment, I only listened for him but I love it! As for TV choices, we all need a bit of something that allows us to switch our brains off. Isn't that the point of TV!!

Yep. I get stuck into something highbrow and think sod it I will put Eastenders on!
Not that Eastenders is cheerful. I have been watching Classic Corrie and Les and Cilla Battersby are televisual gold.
I am just about to watch The Diplomat on Netflix which is a bit classier.
I am trying to imagine Les Battersby as a diplomat - now that’s a comedy!

Apolloneuro · 31/10/2024 15:47

Are you confident that you’re claiming everything you’re entitled to, Laura? Do you get PIP?

Apolloneuro · 31/10/2024 15:02

Oh Laura. You’re so young. One of my kids is 40.

You might like this. I love Lucy Worsley. She came to my city and did a talk about Jane Austin and is sooo pretty in real life. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0016pq3

BBC Sounds - Lady Killers with Lucy Worsley - Available Episodes

Listen to the latest episodes of Lady Killers with Lucy Worsley on BBC Sounds.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0016pq3

nornironlady · 31/10/2024 14:42

@PeggyMitchellsCameo I love Richard Osman. His podcast is very good. So many fact on the world of entertainment, I only listened for him but I love it! As for TV choices, we all need a bit of something that allows us to switch our brains off. Isn't that the point of TV!!

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 31/10/2024 14:38

I’m listening to a podcast called The Great Dictators. Lots of stuff about Hitler and Stalin. Wouldn’t recommend it if you want to cheer yourself up.
I class myself as quite bright so if anyone asks I’ll recommend the latest ‘great’ read but what I’m really doing is reading Jilly Cooper and Richard Osman, and watching Dinnerladies and The Royle Family.
Have just watched the two part special about homelessness led by Prince William. It’s a decent watch. The emphasis does tend to be on people with addiction and MH issues.
I think after reading this thread there needs to be far more attention to what happens to women fleeing abuse.
I also know that women who are disabled are statistically more prone to domestic abuse but the support available to them is poor. Very few refuges have facilities for women in wheelchairs, for example.
Do understand in your case OP that you want to let sleeping dogs lie and leave your DC in the care of your ex, but it’s infuriating to read about him.
I have a good friend who runs a DV charity. She was a victim of terrible abuse, including a physical injury that has left her disabled for life. She had a very, very close family and this man even convinced her parents she was mad/abusive/dangerous.
It did take a while but she had rebuilt her life. Her children are very close to her now and her parents are mortified they entertained him.

nornironlady · 31/10/2024 14:26

Laura Richards started on Real Crime Profile with Jim Clemente who also worked at FBI so they have great insight on some high profile cases without ever making a hero out of the perpetrators or sensationalising the story. I like reading thrillers and mystery, I did watch that film but I don't think I ever read the book. I have a list of authors so I can keep up with their latest releases. I spend way too much money on books!

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 14:20

nornironlady · 31/10/2024 14:11

Laura with regards to True Crime can I suggest Laura Richard's Crime Analyst Podcast if you haven't come across her. She has a very unique perspective and worked within New Scotland Yard and FBI so it's totally fact based. She's a strong advocate for victims of violence, especially women. @Apolloneuro I'm 42, civil servant, parent of SEN child and we have a cat. I'm a huge reader and Yoga when I'm not bogged down with battling the SEN system, even though I need it more then!!

Thank you nornironlady
I will search for that on my podcast . I’ve not heard of her before but she sounds interesting.
What books do you like reading @nornironlady ?
Im currently reading ‘Before I go to sleep’ I think they made a film out of it with Nicole Kidman in xx

OP posts:
nornironlady · 31/10/2024 14:11

Laura with regards to True Crime can I suggest Laura Richard's Crime Analyst Podcast if you haven't come across her. She has a very unique perspective and worked within New Scotland Yard and FBI so it's totally fact based. She's a strong advocate for victims of violence, especially women. @Apolloneuro I'm 42, civil servant, parent of SEN child and we have a cat. I'm a huge reader and Yoga when I'm not bogged down with battling the SEN system, even though I need it more then!!

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 14:06

RaspberryBeretxx · 31/10/2024 13:52

Beautiful poem Laura ❤️. Yay for the mp response and 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 things start to happen now. Sending you lots of strength and hugs and thinking of you xx

Thank you RaspberryBeretxx,
Im just sat looking at the window wishing I could have a walk around the lake .
Hopefully I’ll be getting a wheelchair soon but I will have no-one to push me in it so I might use my good leg to peddle through the streets xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 31/10/2024 14:04

Apolloneuro · 31/10/2024 13:21

Are you able to work @Imbluedalale ? Tell us a bit about yourself.

I feel like we’re a little crew now, all working together to support a friend in need. I’m a semi retired teacher, in my 60s. Live with hubby and have lots of grown up kids and beautiful grandkids.

Love cats and learning about Feng Shui and witchy things. Am making a dried lavender and rosemary stick to cleanse my house with.

Hi Apolloneuro,
Your life sounds very interesting, I love witchy things too. There is a shop at Matlock Bath that’s all dedicated to witches .
I have turned 40 this year , I am not currently working due to health but I did work in mortgages for 15 years and before then I was a travel agent at Lunn Poly (now Tui).
As you know I have 3 children , I don’t have any pets though but I’m hoping when I get a home I can get a dog once I’m all settled etc.
I like reading books and listening to music and love true crime stories/documentaries xx

OP posts: