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Original poster

Need a hand hold

937 replies

Imbluedalale · 17/10/2024 23:39

That’s just it really. I really need a cuddle but that’s not possible so can anybody just support me right now? My mental health is on the floor right now I’ve never felt as low it’s making me feel so ill

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Original poster
Imbluedalale · 03/11/2024 00:22

CookiePookie · 03/11/2024 00:21

Does that work?xx

Perfect! Thank you.

Good night @CookiePookie sweet dreams xx

OP posts:
CookiePookie · 03/11/2024 00:21

Does that work?xx

Perfect! Thank you.

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 23:48

CookiePookie · 02/11/2024 23:39

Would it be possible to post the link to your new post? I can’t find it! I’m invested in your story. Hope you’re having a relaxing evening.

Hi https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5201196-need-a-hand-hold-part-2
Does that work?xx

Need a hand hold part 2 | Mumsnet

Hi it’s Laura , Just wanted to add a new thread as I think my other thread is getting full xx

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5201196-need-a-hand-hold-part-2

OP posts:
CookiePookie · 02/11/2024 23:39

Would it be possible to post the link to your new post? I can’t find it! I’m invested in your story. Hope you’re having a relaxing evening.

TealPoet · 02/11/2024 22:29

spoonfulofmustard · 02/11/2024 20:45

when I told my parents I was unhappy and wanted to leave my marriage, their comment was 'get a cat'

I mean to be fair, that’s a good trade 😂 She’s gorgeous!

ChoccieCornflake · 02/11/2024 21:48

More hugs! You are so right about those 14 biscuits! I have been known to polish off an entire packet of custard creams if theyre not nailed down - not even the best ones but a knock-off version! I reckon they're addictive!

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 21:44

itsmylife7 · 02/11/2024 21:15

Just to say thinking of you Laura.

Glad you've had a lovely sleep.

I'm sure this post is going to fill up very soon.

Can you make another one so we can still offer you support.

Thank you itsmylife7
You’re so very kind , thank you for thinking of me , that’s so nice .
I wasn’t aware that threads get full so I’ve started a new one , it’s called ‘need a hand hold part 2’
Thank you for making me aware of that xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 21:38

AdmittowearingCrocs · 02/11/2024 20:53

Sweetheart we absolutely believe in you, look how far you have come and how you have stood up for and advocated for yourself. When you are finally in your own lovely home and settled with your children, you will look back to this time and see how you fought to be heard and how strong you are.
There are bound to be tough times as you miss your children, that just shows what a great mum you are, but keep your eyes on the end result, pushing through and getting better and getting your new home for your children and your wooden spoon. We will be here cheering you on every step of the way. Sending you hugs 🤗🍪

Thank you AdmittowearingCrocs,
Thank you for believing in me it means more to me than words can describe.
I was thinking about calling the crisis team earlier as my mental health team said that if I’m struggling over the weekend to give them a call but you know what , I didn’t , not because I’m not struggling but because I wanted to try and get through it myself and trying to believe in myself like you all believe in me and the desperate moment passed.
I was texting the resident that was at the crisis house with me earlier and we have been sending each other supportive messages , she’s absolutely lovely and she said when we are both feeling better that we should meet for lunch so that’s something to look forward to .
I can’t wait to give my children and my spoon a home and I can’t wait to be able to tell you all about it xx

OP posts:
itsmylife7 · 02/11/2024 21:15

Just to say thinking of you Laura.

Glad you've had a lovely sleep.

I'm sure this post is going to fill up very soon.

Can you make another one so we can still offer you support.

spoonfulofmustard · 02/11/2024 20:58

whether you have one person having your back or 20, we're all here for you xx

AdmittowearingCrocs · 02/11/2024 20:53

Sweetheart we absolutely believe in you, look how far you have come and how you have stood up for and advocated for yourself. When you are finally in your own lovely home and settled with your children, you will look back to this time and see how you fought to be heard and how strong you are.
There are bound to be tough times as you miss your children, that just shows what a great mum you are, but keep your eyes on the end result, pushing through and getting better and getting your new home for your children and your wooden spoon. We will be here cheering you on every step of the way. Sending you hugs 🤗🍪

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 20:51

spoonfulofmustard · 02/11/2024 20:45

when I told my parents I was unhappy and wanted to leave my marriage, their comment was 'get a cat'

Awww she’s beautiful spoonfulofmustard xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 20:50

spoonfulofmustard · 02/11/2024 20:33

oh sweetheart, I just wanted to show the party at the end (mine was 2 friends at the local bar who knew the situation, but yes we had lots of cocktails) but we're all behind you, sending love and and hugs, and all the support you need xx

Show quote history

I’m so glad and pleased you had a party even if it was a small one . You deserved it after everything you went through. I hope one day I will be like you and celebrating my new freedom and life with a cocktail and I will raise a huge toast to all of you on here xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 20:48

Munchyseeds2 · 02/11/2024 20:28

Oh lovely
If we could take away the hurt and push you forward to a better time, when you have a house and your kids are close, we would

I truly believe you will get there, honestly I do.
There will be tears and some times when you feel you can't do it but you can and you will xxx

You all do help take away some of the hurt Munchyseeds2
and you all help to remind me why I’m doing this and that I have to keep going. There’s no way back now I can only move forward and each step I take is a step closer to being with my children again . It is so very heartbreaking but one day we will be together again xx

OP posts:
spoonfulofmustard · 02/11/2024 20:45

when I told my parents I was unhappy and wanted to leave my marriage, their comment was 'get a cat'

Need a hand hold
Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 20:45

RaspberryBeretxx · 02/11/2024 20:12

I do so agree with this! That person is still there. We all see it and you’ll get back there. Even going through the very worst you’re still asking us questions and interested, engaging and funny, I can’t even imagine how you are at your best! Without him dragging you down, with a new home, your children, you will get back there Laura. I really really believe that. I absolutely love the best of mumsnet - it’s has its worse moments on other threads - but women supporting women and understanding each others pain and history is truly where it is valuable.

Show quote history

Thank you RaspberryBeretxx,
And thank you to you all for seeing something in me that I forgot was there.
I just want my children 🥹it’s so hard . I feel like a huge part of me is missing and that I’m missing so much being away from them . I will never take their presence for granted again .
Thank you for believing in me I just hope I can get a home soon so I can be with them again .
I am so glad I found MN, I remember I first came across it when I was in hospital a few months ago and I was feeling sorry for myself not having any visitors but I’m so glad I was in that situation because I wouldn’t have found all you amazing people xx

OP posts:
spoonfulofmustard · 02/11/2024 20:33

Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 19:13

You know , I have just had a complete breakdown in my room. When your sobbing and can’t catch your breath , when the physical pain of missing my children gets too much and actually hurts my heart when I feel so sad and the emotion I hate, angry, at the unfairness of it all and I read your post. And it really gave me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. God this is the hardest thing ever isn’t it. I’m so sorry you had to go through that but knowing you did has helped me so much. I bet your party was amazing! I’m proud of you xx

Show quote history

oh sweetheart, I just wanted to show the party at the end (mine was 2 friends at the local bar who knew the situation, but yes we had lots of cocktails) but we're all behind you, sending love and and hugs, and all the support you need xx

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 20:28

TealPoet · 02/11/2024 19:46

@ChoccieCornflake is right, that bright bubbly you hasn’t gone anywhere. You are absolutely going to get through this. Of course there are going to be moments when you’re low and don’t feel like you will, but yes, one foot in front of another ❤️

Thank you TealPoet,
Your lovely kind words and support mean so much. I hope you have had a nice day?
I keep telling myself I’m going to get through this and that’s because you all believe in me. It’s actually a nice warm feeling knowing that and it helps me push forward. Thank you xx

OP posts:
Munchyseeds2 · 02/11/2024 20:28

Oh lovely
If we could take away the hurt and push you forward to a better time, when you have a house and your kids are close, we would

I truly believe you will get there, honestly I do.
There will be tears and some times when you feel you can't do it but you can and you will xxx

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 20:25

ChoccieCornflake · 02/11/2024 19:30

Massive hugs! What you are going through is beyond anything I can imagine, and yet you keep on going! You are awe-inspiring!!

To cheer you up, let me tell you you have missed nothing in not trying those other jaffa cakes! Not bad exactly, just wrong. Like white chocolate kitkats - sounds OK, but just not right!

When it comes to big versions of biscuits though, what you need is Pimp That Snack!🍪

Thank you for the hugs ChoccieCornflake,
Ive made myself have a shower and whilst I’m still feeling so upset tonight I’ve made myself have a little pamper and put some nice oil on so im a nice smelling sobbing mess at least. Also TMI but my knickers are currently bathing in the sink I just hope I don’t get a knock from housekeeping anytime soon!
Wow those portions are huge! Imagine having a giant biscuit! I imagine if you was sat on your sofa eating a giant cookie you’d feel gross and greedy and think ‘that’s enough now’ so instead you have 14 biscuits lol 😂 (it’s not the same though)
I only seem to like the original of things I’m not very adventurous xx

OP posts:
RaspberryBeretxx · 02/11/2024 20:16

Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 19:13

You know , I have just had a complete breakdown in my room. When your sobbing and can’t catch your breath , when the physical pain of missing my children gets too much and actually hurts my heart when I feel so sad and the emotion I hate, angry, at the unfairness of it all and I read your post. And it really gave me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. God this is the hardest thing ever isn’t it. I’m so sorry you had to go through that but knowing you did has helped me so much. I bet your party was amazing! I’m proud of you xx

Show quote history

I’m so sorry for all the sadness. It’s so totally to be expected and please don’t think you ever have to hide it. We all understand the incredibly hard situation you’re still in and we are here for you with the ups - the Jaffa cakes, the swans, the successes, the wooden spoons and the Tesco trips! - any also the sadness and tears. I can’t even imagine how are it all is and know your children must be keeping you going. I bet you have a whole phone full of pictures of them and how much you’re desperately missing them shows what a loving mum you are 🥰🥰. Sending lots of love xx

RaspberryBeretxx · 02/11/2024 20:12

Itiswhysofew · 02/11/2024 16:31

Well said @ChoccieCornflake . So many friends Laura now hasSmile

You said above: "I used to be a bubbly happy confident person who could make friends with anybody but he took all that from me." I don't think he managed that as well as he, or you, thought. You are very clearly still that person, just with a veil over the top that you are already emerging from! I would absolutely use those words to describe you right now!!

I do so agree with this! That person is still there. We all see it and you’ll get back there. Even going through the very worst you’re still asking us questions and interested, engaging and funny, I can’t even imagine how you are at your best! Without him dragging you down, with a new home, your children, you will get back there Laura. I really really believe that. I absolutely love the best of mumsnet - it’s has its worse moments on other threads - but women supporting women and understanding each others pain and history is truly where it is valuable.

TealPoet · 02/11/2024 19:46

@ChoccieCornflake is right, that bright bubbly you hasn’t gone anywhere. You are absolutely going to get through this. Of course there are going to be moments when you’re low and don’t feel like you will, but yes, one foot in front of another ❤️

ChoccieCornflake · 02/11/2024 19:30

Massive hugs! What you are going through is beyond anything I can imagine, and yet you keep on going! You are awe-inspiring!!

To cheer you up, let me tell you you have missed nothing in not trying those other jaffa cakes! Not bad exactly, just wrong. Like white chocolate kitkats - sounds OK, but just not right!

When it comes to big versions of biscuits though, what you need is Pimp That Snack!🍪

Home - Pimp That Snack - Epically Supersized Food

https://www.pimpthatsnack.com/

Original poster
Imbluedalale · 02/11/2024 19:13

spoonfulofmustard · 02/11/2024 18:43

I won't lie, it took so much strength to come out the other side, in fact my decree nisi came through the Saturday before we went into lockdown so I had the biggest impromptu party before the world changed! but YOU are the biggest fighter, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, I promise you I felt as low as you have done, but knowing I had the power and had to survive on my own without support from my family made me even more determined once I came put of the fog (if that makes sense!) you got this xx

You know , I have just had a complete breakdown in my room. When your sobbing and can’t catch your breath , when the physical pain of missing my children gets too much and actually hurts my heart when I feel so sad and the emotion I hate, angry, at the unfairness of it all and I read your post. And it really gave me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. God this is the hardest thing ever isn’t it. I’m so sorry you had to go through that but knowing you did has helped me so much. I bet your party was amazing! I’m proud of you xx

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