Sweet Bobby - My Catfish Nightmare on Netflix. SPOILERS

Why would he even need to wait for a fake result! Like it wouldn’t even mean he couldn’t have sex. How has she not questioned that. 🤦🏼‍♀️ have you asked her why that means he can’t?

Kind of odd too as usually men would con someone to have def not the other way round.

I wonder if he’s married.

Wasn’t this all happening when catfish was a huge thing on mtv?
I haven’t watched the show yet but read an article she wrote about it. What I couldn’t understand was that she had a relationship for so long- with presumably never having seen them on video let alone met them. And not the phone either - unless that’s on the programme ? That’s just ridiculous.

I'd be interested to know more about the issues Simran had at school.

There is quite a lot of speculation online about Simran’s identity including the fact that Simran is her real name. It would be possible to work out who she is. I am surprised someone in the press hasn’t done this yet. I am also really surprised that Netflix didn’t cover up her identity more carefully. If she is publically identified she could threaten libel or defamation. It’s very similar to the Baby Reindeer situation.

Simran must have had exceptional organisational skills, and a very detailed spreadsheet.

On the podcast, they mention they spoke to someone went on a hen do with Simran and this girl mentioned that Simran either cried off or came back early from one of the nights out. Simran claimed work calls I think, and she seems, from what they can say, to have the sort of job where this could be plausible.

However given the date and time it's suggested that this was so she could spin her web. This is how Simran kept control of Kirat. By letting herself be consumed, too. Keeping track of all that back story must've been like plotting War and Peace. It can't have been quick easy or simple to do.

I wondered exactly that. She's probably extremely intelligent, perhaps pathologically so.

And yes to Kiran having probably missed her chance of being a mother, @KnottedTwine. That made me sad for her.

I think someone found Simran online to be an investment banker at Barclays which, if true, makes you wonder how she found the time to do all of it.

Watched the Netflix thing last night and have listened to the podcast previously. It's a wild ride and you do wonder how she got so suckered in for so long but the catfisher created a whole network of social media contacts, many of whom were personally known to Kirat or who were a once-removed contact, so a friend of a cousin, or a colleague of someone. She had no reason to disbelieve all these people who were all chatting amongst each other and backing each other up. Although obviously it came out that it was all fake, it would seem unbelievable when you're in it that it was ALL fake, everyone was fake and you couldn't take any of it at face value.

Simran is a piece of work and the unsatisfying thing is that we are never told why or her motive. It might have started as a schoolgirl prank as she claims but she continued for years and years when she was well aware of the effect it was all having on her cousin. She must have spent hours a day being all these different people to manipulate Kirat. What was she getting out of it? Just twisted.

Do feel sorry for Kirat that she has probably lost her chance of being a mother, which is all she had ever wanted.

It would be bizarre if she still believed that. It would suggest she hasn’t fully understood what catfishing is, and that Bobby knew what was going on and was somehow complicit.

Having watched Indian Matchmaking (Matchmaker?) the idea of a match with a person located on another continent as long as they were from a good family/equal in status family seems completely normal.

poor Kirat has a core of resilience alongside her vulnerability. Another person might have hidden away for a long time after this. She has chosen to highlight her story in as public a way as one can. No hiding now Simran.

Id love to see Sima Auntie help Kirat find a match. Or a friend at least.

It would also have shown that he's a dentist, not a cardiologist.

I actually know the real Bobby as a patient in his professional capacity and have done for over ten years. A quick Google of him would have shown he was alive and well and working in Sussex! I can't believe a seemingly intelligent woman would not have done that

I do think Bobby, whose name and face and family are all over the media, has got a bit lost in all this. I know he wasn't aware at the time but he certainly is now and none of it was anything at all to do with him. He and his family are victims too.

She was incredibly stupid & naive. That she believed the witness protection stuff was ridiculous. Some women need to be saved from themselves. I really hate the emphasis from some cultures on women needing to be married & having children by a certain age. It’s just so regressive,

Ok so I’ve watched it now.

I have a few thoughts (some of which I had forgotten about from when I’ve listened to the podcast):

• Simran actually needs some serious consequences- she has fucked up SO MANY lives… Bobby, his wife, Kirat’s parents, Kirat’s cousins and wider family, the poor little baby involved, Kirat of course. It’s fucking apocalyptic.
• the way Simran got all of the information, she is a stalker! She should be treated as one.
• Kirat is so beautiful, and obviously very kind. She could have a beautiful life and it’s such a shame all of this happened.
• I wonder if Simran actually had something against Sanj (Bobby’s wife)? Because a lot of the manipulation seems pointed towards making her seem like a nasty person or someone to be resentful towards.

• Bobby is fit 😂

Is that the one with Vicky Pattison? I’m listening to that at them moment OMG

Two things stretched my credulity more than the general 'this is nuts' situation:

1. when he finally came to the UK she still accepted his excuses not to meet for a while
2. He got his ex wife pregnant and kirat didn't seem to see that was infidelity!

I think she still half believes in their engagement.

https://www.hellomagazine.com/film/724447/sweet-bobby-kirat-assis-disappointed-real-bobby-catfish-documentary/

This interview gave me pause. I honestly don't think the "real" Bobby owes her a meeting or any kind of interaction really and I can see anyone in his situation avoiding it, without any cultural aspects being in play.

I do feel sorry for Kirat obviously. She was vulnerable due to societal and culture pressure to get married and have babies. However she seemingly ignored huge red flags such as:

The fact that when she bumped into Bobby he had no idea who she was. And also the next time he messaged wouldn't you have immediately queried the fact he didn't seem to recognise her when she saw him? She said she thought she mentioned it years later but was vague about out and couldn't seem to remember the excuse.

The fact he was on 'witness protection'. For future reference for anybody, If someone tells you they're are witness protection they're not. The first rule of witness protection is that you can't tell anyone!'

She also never questioned why he would be on witness protection? What was the motive for the alleged shooting? Why would people want to track him down in the first place? Why was he allegedly flown to New York for medical treatment when he was a British citizen and therefore could avail himself of the free NHS and not the eye wateringly expensive US system. Who would be paying for it? Why would they move him from Kenya in the first place if his condition was so critical? Would they have risked a trans Atlantic flight with someone allegedly in witness protection. Much easier to take to a non local Kenyan Hospital and provide armed guards.

I could go on. However I heard she is now campaigning for catfishing to be made illegal however the outcome would have been pretty much the same if she had been conversing with the real Bobby and he was just a married man having an online affair. Would she be campaigning to make it illegal for married people to have affairs? It currently isn't illegal to pretend to be someone else or 'steal' someone's identity. It is however illegal to use the false identity to commit a crime. I don't think h'Bobby' ever asked her to send him money and in fact it appears 'Bobby' was the one sending her flowers and gifts.