AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

Scooping at least daily or more often eg when there's a new poo. It takes seconds so absolutely nobody 'doesn't have time'.

Changing the litter depends on the type, how often they actually use the tray and also what their poos are like, it will need doing more often if any have soft stools.

We've always had multiple cats and fostered for a rescue charity and I've done a lot of research into what litter is 'best' in terms of ease of use, cost/value for money and how long it stays clean and have concluded this is best.

https://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/cat_litter/greenwoods_cat_litter/greenwoods_clumping_wood_litter/475317?origin=hopps&q=litter&i=1&ro=20&activeVariant=475317.3

It might seem expensive but it lasts forever. Scoop it daily and it can go weeks without a full change. If you need to clean trays, you can combine the depleted litter in one tray, clean the empty tray and refill, then alternate which trays get a proper clean.

I see a lot of people talk about disinfecting trays, but be aware that many disinfectants are poisonous to cats so I always just use hot soapy water, it's easiest to do it in the bath, and a pet safe disinfectant cleaning spray for any stubborn stains.

But like a lot of PPs have said, your cats are behaving like this because they are stressed due to not having their own space and being neglected. He needs to up his game massively with their care and also seriously consider rehousing the one that doesn't get on with the other 3.

Some cats are companionable and like other cats, some will happily coexist if they have their own space and some will not want to share their environment with any other cats and in this case its much kinder to rehome to somewhere where they are the only cat in the household.

We've been fortunate in that we've rarely had issues but they've always had free reign of a medium sized house with lots of hidey holes and accessible high spaces and the outside which is semi rural so woods, fields and stables but there has been a couple of times where we've had a cat who's clearly not been happy in our environment so we've rehomed them.

How often should we and poo be scooped?

As often as possible, our routine is twice a day (morning and evening) and our cat loves when we do it. If you smell or see poo then scoop it up then.

How often should the whole tray be emptied and new litter bought and put in?

How often new litter is bought will depend on how big the bags are and how much you use. How often the whole tray emptied and new litter put in, depends on what type of litter you are using, and how effective your husband is at cleaning it. In theory every 2-3 days or even once a week (or longer) could be absolutely fine BUT it depends on how effective his scooping is. From experience some people just scoop poo and are awful at getting the wee bits out but think it is fine as it isn't so obvious to the human eye. Most cats won't use a tray if they can detect urine in the tray.

I don't think he has ever disinfected the actual tray I will ask him but I'm confident he just changes the litter - is this also not acceptable!

This is a nice to have but no I wouldn't say this would be the main problem for your cats and other factors need to be resolved.

Other points:

You haven't mentioned what kind of litter you use although appreciate you might not know if you don't get involved in it. As others have mentioned you need to be using clumping and it could be worth trying different types which your husband might find easier to clean more effectively. Wood vs clay is opposite in how you clean the wee for example so he might find one easier than the other.

I am unclear from your posts on what their access to the outside is like as you refer to them having access but also asking about letting them outside as your husband doesn't like to all the time?

My Cat From Hell is a very American show but does have good points on dealing with cat toileting issues which are either health or stress related. Themes are litter trays not clean enough, not large enough, not enough of them, some cats may prefer open or enclosed ones. Stress can be linked to not enough space/belongings they feel is their own, not enough exercise/play, or difficult relationships with other cats/humans in the household.

All the cats need to have full time 24/7 access to the big outdoors. As a minimum they should have access all daytime. They are cats, they need the stimulation.

Litter tray needs scooping once a day or twice if the cats are sharing. Fresh litter every other day.

I'd suggest moving out. This is no set-up to bring a child into.

Ideally you need 2 trays per cat, some like to pee/poop in different trays.

Trays need cleaned out each day and poop removed straight away.

(As an experiment, don't flush your toilet for 3 days and see how you like shitting in it.....).

With 4 cats you need 5 seperate litter trays around the house. Poo needs to removed immediatly.

These cats are clearly unhappy. He is neglecting them. Cats toileting in the wrong place is a sign of illness and distress. They all need to be checkes out by the vet.

Hi op I’d move out - if this is how he cares for the cats then god help your child. He’s neglecting them AND you.

Just change the litter tray you can’t leave it for three days. They won’t use it if it smells or is dirty.

We have 5 cats, we have adequate litter trays, clean them daily, and pay for quality litter that is recommended for multi cat households. We have had one who took to weeing in random places, had a vet visit to check he didn't have a uti. Vet said it was behavioural and recommended we spray feliway directly on his collar. We did, and he's never done it again, we re spray his collar once a week. No idea if it works for poos as well but in a multi cat household, it's likely to be a stress reaction. He's the one of ours you'd think was the least stressed, he gets on with all the others, asserts himself at feeding time etc but the feliway definitely makes a big difference to him.

Because my children are absolutely besotted with them, and I think that's great for both the cats and the children. They come in the door from school and run straight to them. Don't get me wrong, I care for them. My point was more that there are those people whose love for their pets is so intense, that it is far greater than any annoyance at the odd vomit or toilet accident, whereas my fear/squeamishness of toilet accidents or rats/mice being brought in is all-consuming (not claiming there is any logic to it, it is what it is), and means the only way we can have the cats is if they don't have access to all areas of the house.

You should clean poops as soon as you see them, wees scooping once daily is fine, emptying/washing/replacing litter every 3 days is fine. Cats going anywhere other than the tray or outside is very much not fine or normal in a young healthy cat, even if it's 'only' once a week. Once they have gone somewhere outside the box you (well, your husband) need to clean it properly with an enzymatic cleaner, otherwise the cats will be able to smell it and think it's an ok place to go.

Maybe try different types of litter until you find one they will use reliably. You are absolutely not being unreasonable to want to keep them in just a couple of rooms unless supervised.

Sorry op I know you've had to clarify lots of things already so I'm sorry if I've missed this.

How many litter trays do you have available to your cats? And what age are the cats- are the trays easy for them to get in/ out of/ downstairs and upstairs? My cat would never tolerate a litter box with a flap. So sometimes they can be particular.

You should have at least one litter tray per cat. I would scoop them all twice daily and then clean it out properly once a week. (And scoop poops as soon as you notice them) But I'd clean properly more often if the smell is bad/ they've been unwell etc. Some litter is better than others so I'd try different types, personally I prefer clumping as it is cleaner. If the cats are using the same tray or couple of trays you might need to clean them more regularly during the day because I'd have done my tray twice a day for one cat.

If your cats have clean and plentiful enough litter trays that are easily accessible then I'd suggest firstly you link in with a vet to check about utis if they're still peeing elsewhere, and if that's ruled out then you need to really think about whether the cats are coping living together. My guess is you've too many in the one house and they're finding it stressful. Having a baby will only increase their stress so your dh needs to really wise up here before the baby arrives. I'd be inclined to rehome the two who are eliminating outside of the tray as they're likely the two who are coping the least and who may do much better in a single cat household.

Your dh needs to take this seriously because cats get into everything. If they start peeing in your pram or high chair or elsewhere that won't be safe for baby and it'll drive you absolutely crazy. So it won't be good for your relationship either. Especially if your dh is working and you're on mat leave you'll end up having to deal with that by default. So this really needs addressed now. Your dh needs to start thinking more about the type of environment he wants his child to grow up in and less about the emotional attachment he has to his cats. (And as a cat lover I understand that's really difficult- but this is the first stage of him stepping up as a dad and a husband). He also needs to recognise the impact this is having on you and the fact this is also your home and you have the right to enjoy it. It will be very important that you keep your nursery a cat free room.

Your poor cats this makes me so sad. They deserve better.

Haven’t read the whole thread, have they been neutered now? I really hope so. Your husband is so irresponsible and you sound heartless towards them to be honest. They ought to be in a home where they’ll be loved and cared for this is so upsetting to read

This ^ Poor cats. Poor you.

I'm a vet. It really depends on the litter you're using. If it's clumping litter, if you're scooping poo and wee as it's used (at least once daily, probably more), you probably shouldn't need to change the litter completely more than once a week depending on frequency of use. If non-clumping you need to change it daily.

For a multi-cat household, you should have one litter tray per cat plus one in different locations around the house.

Toxoplasmosis is an extremely low risk with indoor cats as they get exposed to this by hunting, so as long as you wear gloves and wash your hands thoroughly you can change the litter tray (I did the whole way through my pregnancy for my indoor cat).

It is very unusual for cats not to be housetrained and there is normally a reason. I would recommend a vet visit in the first instance to rule out any medical reasons (e.g. cystitis or other pain). If all okay they can refer you to a behaviourist who can assess the situation and hopefully have some suggestions based on your set up.

It all sounds very odd. Why are they not toilet trained? I had four cats a few years ago, they had a cat door and could come and go as they pleased. Two of them were strays which I took in - I never had any problems with them making a mess inside. I lived in a flat with a small garden, and none of the cats liked any of the others. When I moved to my current flat, with three cats, I had one litter box. One never used it, the other two were perfectly happy to share it. Your cats don't sound happy for some reason.

Me too! These poor, poor cats are clearly being mistreated and are so unhappy.

As I said in my post - minimum checking each tray at least twice a day (morning and evening preferably) and scooping out any solids and clumps and shaking the tray/topping up as necessary. If he can check it more often than that it’s a bonus - in my experience cats may tolerate some clumps of wee in a tray occasionally if no choice but poo is often a no no.

While it does depend on how much the cats use the trays vs toileting outside, to clarify further generally the whole litter tray should be completely emptied at least every 2 or 3 days as it will likely smell to the cats by then (even if it all looks clean and has been topped up). The trays then need a proper hot soapy wash and rinse once every week or two (you might want to do this on a rota so the cats have the other trays to use while the washed one is drying).

Make sure you have a tray for each cat, and at that at least a couple of them are hooded/covered trays and that they are spaced well apart - cats like privacy to toilet as they feel vulnerable then. You might also consider offering a choice of litter in different trays- some cats will only use granular stone type litter, others prefer the wooden pellet type etc.

Thank you, @OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon for taking proper care of your pets.

Are you/your husband seriously not cleaning out your cats litter trays daily/multiple times a day? Poor things. Cats are incredibly clean and it probably really stresses them out using a dirty toilet. How would you feel having to go for a poo or wee on top of 3 day old mess? Disgusting.

Honestly this is alarming and sounds like a sign of things to come with a baby. Why on earth you are having a baby with someone you cant even come to important decisions together. It doesnt sound like a partnership at all and if this is real, I will look out for your posts next year about how he is equally useless and stubborn when it comes to your child.

Your DH is a neglectful arsehole. Leaving the cat to get pregnant twice FFS. He’s as full of shit as the poor cats litter boxes. The more defensive he’s getting makes me wonder if he isn’t like this about more than just litter box duty.

The cats are stressed. They will be more stressed when baby arrives.

I say this as a full blown cat lady - rehome at least two of the cats. Your husband is not coping with four and they each deserve attention and care.

Take the one peeing in the bath to the vet to rule out health problems, enzymatic cleaner for areas they’ve soiled.

Then decide if you need to rehome your DH. If he can’t cope with cats he’ll be fucking useless with a kid.

Cats don't like to use dirty/smelly litter trays. So as soon as a litter tray is soiled a cat is unlikely to re-use it. Especially as there are multiple cats so there are likely territorial issues over who uses what litter tray also.

As you have 4 cats I'd say you need at least 5 litter trays, in different locations to offer some privacy - it doesn't matter if 1-2 of the cats "only toilet outside" according to your husband - he seems to be downplaying/minimising the situation. I would also have extra litter trays available to replace those that are drying after being cleaned.

If a cat's poo can be scooped out of the litter leaving the rest non-smelly/not soiled then it's probably OK to just scoop the poo out. If the cat wees in the litter tray the tray will smell like urine so I'd say the litter needs replacing. So basically I'd be fully cleaning out/disinfecting/replacing the litter for a litter tray after it's weed in, which could be as frequently as once a day if the litter tray is being used daily. If the tray smells like urine (i.e. litter was replaced but tray not washed properly) a cat may be reluctant to use it. Washing out with water alone is not enough to fully clean the tray.

Your husband seems to be downplaying the issue to make himself look less bad but the fact there is this problem means he's not meeting the cats' needs. Cats like to be clean. Also, being happy to bathe for an hour in a room containing a soiled/smelly litter tray is gross and reflective of his low hygiene standards. And I am a massive cat lover.

Also, despite the above processes a cat may sometimes still choose to toilet outside the tray but this should be much less frequently than what you're experiencing.

What litter are you talking about because that makes a difference? Clumping litter - its fine to scoop the clumps and clean weekly, wood pellets/wood chip - needs cleaning regularly, I used to do it once a day as it would smell quick.

As for your cat peeing in a bath, they need a vet check because they could be peeing outside the litter tray because it hurts and they are associating pain with the litter tray.

I think it is too many cats. They are territorial and will wee and poo as claims to territory. Then other cat will wee and poo on top to say it’s their territory. Back and forth it goes, each cat trying to get their smells dominant. They have such sensitive noses that even if you are able to clean to point no human nose can smell it, they can smell it and will want to either top it up or overlay by wee and poo some more.

Any space not marked is an open invitation for a cat to mark as theirs. Which is why one invaded your dressing room.

Your husband has too many cats. He needs to rehome at least two of them. And I agree certain parts of the house need to be off limits.