AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

I've had cats all my life. I've also also had a cat flap wherever I've lived and so after the tiny kitten stage I don't have litter trays in the house. The only time there are accidents is when a cat has been really poorly or very elderly - coming to end of life. I don't understand why they are doing this in your home? Can you ask your vet for some advice/see a pet psychologist?

Are you real?
it’s really dangerous for you while pregnant.
cats naturally want to be clean. There is a problem.
Firstly check with the vet that there are no health issues and ask for suggestions.
Find a pet trainer who will assist with training.
Employ someone to clean the litter trays every day.
You won’t be able to re home the new baby easily, you need to find solutions to these problems quickly. Move out if you can until the situation is resolved. He might take it more seriously.

Hi OP. Cat person here with 4 cats. So your husband doesn’t sound like a responsible pet owner.

Re litter trays, they should be scooped everyday and cleaned (thoroughly cleaned as in scrubbed clean with soap) every 2-3 days. You can get cheap cat litter but I’d recommend getting the more expensive stuff so the house doesn’t smell, you can also get litter tray liners and self cleaning litter trays that are enclosed, this may be an investment worth having if planning to have 2 of them as indoor cats. Can I just ask how that works? How do 2 get out but not the other 2? Our cat flap is a chip reading cat flap but only scans on the way in not on the way out so how do the other 2 not get out?

I’ve read through as much of the post as I can but not all. Can I ask how old the cats are? I don’t think you’ve answered that, it’s normal when they are kittens to have a couple of accidents but it shouldn’t take long for them to litter train.
This is my general list of how to be a responsible cat owner, maybe you should show it to him or get him to google it.

When first getting a kitten they should be adopted as there are millions of cats and not enough shelters to look after all the strays 😞

Once home they should be kept in a room with hard floor until litter trained so you can clean up their accidents hygienically.

Get them registered with a vet and vaccinated/fealed/wormed along with a general check up as soon as possible. Also get them insured.

Once 4/6 months old they should have their ops and microchips (they should not be allowed out before this!)

For me personally once a year old I let them out (hate litter trays so only have them
in the house when they are kittens) I have my garden cat proofed (google this as if he’s worried they will get lost then this may be a solution and mean you won’t need litter trays anymore)

What is also key is constant cleaning when you have animals (he needs to be willing to do this as they are his pets and you told him at the start they are his responsibility). I hoover every single day just because we have 4 and I mop every 2/3 days. We only have carpet in the bedrooms and most of the time the bedroom doors are closed.

I personally wouldn’t want the cats to be in a couple of rooms and not allowed to roam freely (within reason ie some doors closed) once older but if they were not litter trained I would absolutely keep them away from the rest of the house.

In regard to holidays for me the whole point of cats and not dogs is it’s so much easier. So when we go away we leave the cats at home, they have a water fountain and an electric feeder, the cat flap to come and go as they please & a little cat cam so we can check on them, I also get my mum or a neighbour to pop in once a day to check on them and give them some wet food. We close doors to living room, bathroom & bedrooms so they have access to kitchen/diner and the hallway landing and stairs.

It sounds like your husband has had 1 or 2 cats, not done the above and let them out to get pregnant and then kept some of the kittens and again hasn’t done the above to train them and now you and your house are suffering. If he cared about them as much as he says he does he wouldn’t have let his cat get pregnant once let alone twice.

Going forward it definitely wouldn’t be unreasonable for you to demand things change, especially since you are now pregnant, I have 4 kids too so I know what it’s like with cats around. Remember when your child is young never leave them unsupervised with the cats. He needs to litter train if keeping as indoor cats and until then they should be confined to a hard floor room or rooms. He needs to clean litter trays properly and regularly. Once they are trained he needs to have all the carpets cleaned. Once you’ve got past all of that life should be so much better and in future he needs to know it needs to be a joint decision to get any more pets.

I hope this helps and doesn’t come across as rude. This is just my opinions and what works for us so not everyone will agree with all of it. I hope it gets better for you.

when my children bought home a kitten I thought it was normal for her poo to be smelly and soft and to poop every time she ate food (I never had a pet before or been around anyone with pets so was extremely unknowledgeable).
She would also occasionally poop outside her litter box in corners of the room and there were poo smears.

I was not cool with this so researched on how to stop this behaviour repeating and why it could’ve been happening.

I purchased a pet carpet washer and special odour destroyer spray to remove the smell of the cat urine and poop and once dry sprayed a cat deterrent in the hope it would stop her thinking this was an alternative litter tray.
I discovered that some cats like more than one litter tray so I purchased another one and placed it somewhere different. I also tried an alternative cat litter (wood pellets).

This worked a treat and the unwanted behaviour stopped. distress is another reason why cats display this behaviour so it could as you suggested be because you have a new cat.

I have been through a few litter trays and found my cat to prefer the ones that have a roof, which is more aesthetically pleasing also. I found one that can double as a plant holder which looks lovely.

When I took her to the vet for the first time they explained she was bloated and it could’ve been worms or her diet that caused this and the soft stools.

she took the worming medicine but no worms and still had soft frequent stools so changed her diet.

Her stools were no longer smelly, soft and every time she ate. No more smears of poop!
As my cat seems to get bored of her meals quickly I introduce new wet food gradually every few months. This sometimes causes a slight stomach upset and her poos become runny again and sometimes I find bits of poo and smears outside the litter box which I now understand to be caused by a stomach upset (not reaching the tray quick enough) and not behaviour.

cleaning the litter as soon as it is used is ideal and I change all of my cat litter once a week by not only removing the old litter but washing the litter tray also.

try a cat forum or a vets for advice as I’m not sure if what I am doing is suitable for your situation but it works for me.

congratulations on the baby!

Four is a high number of cats to have if even you like them - it's not great that your husband has put four cats in the house that you didn't want. They're almost certainly stressed, if the trays are close together it's probably a territory issue too. Rehoming at least two would be a good start and probably better for them.

More concerning is how you ended up in this situation - is this lack of consideration for your wants and needs something your husband might carry on through your pregnancy and when the baby is here?

The cats are probably stressed. They are really solitary animals. I would recommend rehoming two and see if it settles keep the two who may seem friendly with each other. I think 2 rooms and access to outside is fine.

health problems can also cause them to pee/poo elsewhere.

Yes, he’s lying. Your cats are stressed and peeing / pooping outside their tray because their tray isn’t clean. He’s lying.

THIS

Those poor cats aren’t the problem. Your husband is lazy, “stubborn” and “angry”. He won’t listen when you’re telling him about something that could harm you and the baby. Instead, he gets angry. You know that’s not ok, right? You know this man will be a terrible father?

You have a cat flap so why are they pooing in the house?sounds like they have some behavioural problems, possible because there are 4 of them sharing the house!
I think you need to rehome at least 2 of them, then work on full house training the remaining one or two before the baby is born foe the sake of the baby's health and your sanity.

Sounds like you have too many cats and they are competing for territory and stressed - dropping their arses all over the place. Litter trays should be changed every day with that number of cats, not every 3 days, this could be why they are going elsewhere in the house, again they are competing with each other. Cats are clean animals and like clean. This is far too much if you’re pregnant. Cat pee and poop bloody stinks.

The cats are stressed, whether or not you change the cat trays daily or every other day, they will continue to do this messing in the house.

@notaurewhatusername By the way YANBU to confine the cats to the utility and study IF they also have access to outside for exercise/toileting if they want to and they can be supervised elsewhere in the house in the evening for some human attention. That’s more space and care than they would likely get in a rehoming centre - and who knows how long an adult cat who messes might take to rehome.

Lots of people with pets who mess have to keep them confined to a couple of easily cleanable rooms for some of the day and overnight (including myself - I have an incontinent dog due to a spinal injury and a young toddler so I can’t let the dog roam at will). Providing they can get enough exercise, have other animals for company and can be supervised in the house for some time in the evening with you (once your baby is asleep), it isn’t cruel. I live rurally and see so many cats and dogs who are basically just fed and then left outside all the time, with limited vet care, limited human attention and sometimes even limited shelter 😩 - what you are proposing in comparison sounds fine.

As to why the indoor cats are messing, no one can say for certain. If you have followed the guidance on this thread of a tray per cat, separated in private areas (not right next to each other), tried different types of litter and made sure the poos are scooped out asap and any wet clumps scooped at least twice a day or the whole lot emptied daily if the non clumping type of litter (and the trays are washed weekly/fortnightly) - then really you have done all you can.

Assuming you have also had the cats checked at the vets to rule out any health causes, it may have unfortunately just become habitual now - once the scent is there it can be really hard to completely get rid of, so the cats will often go there again.

Ok I’m going to be shot down here for not reading all the message, but from what I have read, un neutered cats will stress, will keep getting pregnant and causing you stress too. It’s unfair on all concerned, apart from your partner it seems, who is a totally irresponsible owner.

Keep one, get it spayed or neutered and rehome the others under the promise of getting them neutered to the new owners, or neuter them before rehoming. Either that or kick partner out, pay for the spaying and rehome them yourself, keeping the original at (also to be spayed/neutered. Ultimatum time.

Yes I think this must be right.

I have cats and I clean their litter box twice a day, change litter every two weeks at least.

I totally agree.

These cats are being neglected, and even if, by some miracle, the toilet situation is sorted, they're still not going to be in a home where their owners give a shit about their welfare. They all deserve better.

OMG, you are supposed to have one more litter tray than cats (so 5 not 3) and change them every day! No wonder they are pooing all over the house, they need more trays and cleaned every day!

The cats are stressed and unhappy, and so are you. Maybe you all need new homes?

Too many for someone who doesn't look after them. I agree. But not if they're all happy, healthy and looked after

Revolting

Sadly I really don't think sorting out the litter trays or rehoming a couple of the cats is going to help at all long term.
OP may have married a twat but OP herself doesn't like cats, doesn't want cats and doesn't seem to interact socially with them at all.
OP is asking if it's okay to confine four already stressed cats indefinitely in a very small part of the house with access to the garden.
Presumably out of sight, out of mind.
No interaction, just their basic needs met.
That is no life for the cats and bordering on neglect.

This the litter tray should be cleaned/changed every day, cats are clean animals and may refuse to use the litter tray if dirty. Your DH is unreasonable to have 4 cats if can't be bothered to look after them properly.

The trays need cleaning everyday with that many cats. If the litter is caked onto the tray after the 4 days then it’s too long. If they aren’t using the trays then change the kind of litter you’re using because they can be fussy.

You need to clean with something to break down the enzymes in the cat wee so they don’t go back to the places they’ve been before, using bleach makes it worse even if you think it will clean better.

My cat started doing this after years and it seemed having a child was what started it, they were indoor cats but we ended up letting them out in the end so stress can be a big factor.

Your fella needs to wake up because you can’t have a baby around this.

Sorry op I’ve not read the full thread…

A few ideas

Swap cat litter - cats are funny animals and they may not like the feel of it, it’s trial and error mine will not use wood based ones and don’t like clumping.

I scoop up and waste 3 ish times a day (check it every time I walk past and clean as necessary) and completely clean them out every 2/3 days with the weather turning its more like every 2 days.

I have 3 cats and have 4 litter trays - I think the rule of thumb is one each and then a spare but I may be wrong 🤷‍♀️ they always use their own trays, I’ve never know them to share so to speak.

Have they been vet checked for any underlying issues, I know if they are stressed it can cause them to urinate outside of the box.

It honestly sounds like you should rehome one or two of them, toxoplasmosis is very dangerous to a pregnant woman.

And lastly your DH sounds like a twat cat urine is absolutely vile and the smell is awful and trying to get it out of furniture is hard. I haven’t actually found a spray which works after my old cat got dementia and weed all over the house. I ended up throwing away my furniture and carpets.

No, she says they all have access to the outside but two don't toilet outside and will mess in the house instead.