AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

You need one (clean) tray per cat plus a spare - so for four cats that’s five trays. We have only one cat, and one tray he actually uses, but two others in different places in case that one is not clean because we’re out and can’t get to it.

Poo is removed as soon as possible (he comes and shouts at you to clean it!) and wee “dug over” and a sprinkle of fresh litter on top. The whole tray is washed out once a week, twice a week in summer. Our boy won’t toilet outside and comes in to use the tray - our previous girl would rather have trekked through shoulder high snow than use the litter.

The cats will not like having unclean litter trays. Your husband needs to step up and care for his animals.

It's obvious they are pooing everywhere as their trays aren't being cleaned often enough. Should be completely emptied more than every three days. Solids and clumps removed immediately as a minimum. Cats are clean.

I had three cats, now just two and they have the run of the house in the day and sleep in the utility room at night as I and caged animals when I got the cats. Sometimes they have the kitchen too overnight. They have their own door so they can go out whenever they want.

Completely trained so toilet in the garden and cover it up.

It's going to take a while for cats who have been toileting all over to grasp/see the point in using litter trays even if he ups his game and starts cleaning them everyday. If you have tom cats it's going to be difficult to get rid of all the areas where they've sprayed and they've now learnt it's normal/acceptable to mark their territory indoors. Your DH needs to appreciate the seriousness of the situation and get his priorities straight.

Also he needs to clean with an enzyme cleaner anywhere the cats have weed and pooed. Otherwise they will still smell it and go back there. Just spraying some dettol on it won’t be enough.

Cats aren't naturally social. Most find living with other cats stressful. Confining them in a smaller space will make this worse.

You need an extra litter tray compared to the number of cats as a minimum, so five at least. Same for food/water. Weeing in the bath is often a sign of a UTI in cats so that one (or multiple) cats needs a vet check. UTIs are brought on by stress so that also fits.

You're not happy and the cats certainly aren't.

Their litter trays need emptying every day and they should have one each. Once a cat fouls in a tray it won’t use it again. Doing it every few days is bit not enough. Your husband sounds irresponsible and lazy.

Your DH is not taking adequate care of the cats, nor is he taking his child's health seriously. Most cars won't use a litter tray multiple times. My parents used to have to change the litter every time or cat wouldn't go. Multiple per day.

You can leave and tell him you're not coming back until it's sorted. He can rehome or put in effort needed to help them with toileting.

I’m amazed that you’ve chosen to have a child with such a prick. As he’s such an irresponsible idiot with cats, he’s certainly not going to be up for any father-of-the-year awards. Do you not fear for the child?

What is the male / female ratio of the cats, and how are they related? Are they all spayed and neutered now? They can’t make it any clearer that they’re stressed and not enjoying their family dynamic, I absolutely think that as a minimum, all but the one that your partner already had should be rehomed.

Doesn’t matter, he still needs to get more cat litter trays

Too few litter trays and too few changes

I would suggest that dh needs to get 3 x the litter train he has if he only cleans them every 3 days,

I would 100% refuse to clean up the mess since your DH doesn't want to change anything. He's now in charge of all cat mess. I would make sure you leave nothing you value (clothes, shoes, etc) out anywhere, and tell him to crack on cleaning up after the cats then.

He won't. It will be awful. And I would then leave over something like this.

Changing the litter tray every 3 days when you have four cats is utterly vile. We have one cat and if her one litter box isn't scooped daily it's gross. I can't imagine the stench of your house with three manky litter boxes and the cats not even using them half the time 🤮

Your husband needs to get a grip and stop neglecting the cats. Anyone who knows anything about cats knows that their litter box's cleanliness is sacred to them. And no, of course you can't confine four cats to two rooms of a house and not expect the territorial and anti-social behaviour to get even worse.

Am seriously concerned about your DH - he 'loves' his cats but can't do basic cat care. He 'loves' his forthcoming baby but can't create a safe environment for his wife to live in or the baby to grow up in. He needs to get his act together and fast.

This, in spades!

OP, if your husband doesn’t step up and start cleaning the litter trays
properly on a daily basis (scoop out the clumps daily, full litter change at a minimum of once a week, maybe more depending on your cats), then, unfortunately, you will have to do it until they are rehomed.

I understand your concern about toxoplasmosis. I also understand you just don’t want to do it. But the risks to you and your child are greater if the cats are using the house instead of a litter tray. Wear gloves and a mask when cleaning the litter tray and wash your hands thoroughly. Take comfort in the fact that if you have had the cats for a while before getting pregnant, you may already be immune to toxoplasmosis.

This is a useful website with more info specifically relating to pregnancy. https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/pregnancy-complications/infections/toxoplasmosis-pregnancy
I note they recommend a full litter change more frequently than I do.

As others have said, this is highly unusual behaviour from cats. I grew up with cats, and the only time they had toileting accidents was when they were unwell and in one case when he got really old. We recently got 2 new kittens and there has not been a single accident in 2 weeks. They are very clean animals and toileting in random places is a sign of distress.

For reference, it was me who was keen to get the kittens, my DH went along with it but is not really a cat person and so I do not expect him to deal with litter tray cleaning or any toileting accidents - I wanted the cats and for that reason they are my responsibility.

Your DH needs to step up and sort out the litter trays every day. It is not fair on the cats and is causing them stress. No one loves scooping up poo but it is a basic requirement of being a decent pet owner and it really isn’t that bad and doesn’t take long. My 9 year old can do it competently - heck, even my 5 year old has done it (at her request and under supervision) without making any mess. Ask him how he’d feel about using a filthy bathroom with other people’s shit everywhere.

Also, how is your DH going to be about nappies (which are a lot more messy than litter trays!)

Your cats are trying to tell you something!
Cats are clean animals. They won’t use a dirty litter tray. Each tray should be cleaned out as soon as they use it. Every 3 days is totally unacceptable.
The best way is to use a newspaper liner then only a handful of litter. Each time it’s soiled it gets cleaned washed and disinfected.
It’s really not difficult.

Either rehome or become responsible cat owners. And if you're not a cat person and your dh is, then he needs to look after them properly which he isn't. They're obviously unhappy, and not going to get happier with owners that don't clean their litter box and add a new tiny screaming human to the mix.

Do you mean he leaves all poo and wee for days at a time, or does he scoop that out every day and then change the entire litter every 3 days?

Sorry I missed your post saying you had got them neutered because the 'catlover' was 'too busy'

From what you say, your DH unfortunately doesn't know what love is.

He 'loves' his cats but is too busy to take care of them.
He 'loves' you but doesn't listen to your opinion or care for you when you are carrying his baby.

Honestly if you can, I'd leave and go to your mum's.

Gosh aren’t you lucky having such a wonderful man as your baby daddy….🤔

So is perhaps daily cleaning of trays step one and if he can't do it would it be unreasonable of me to rehome without his permission? I've had enough and he's really stubborn
op your relationship will die a very quick death if you do something this huge without talking to him, even outside of the fact they’re his pets, it’s a huge lie/ omission

God those poor animals

We have 5 cats and sort the litter at least twice a day absolute minimum. DH really needs to keep on top of it as he’s definitely not doing it enough.

we have 1 cat who will sometimes poo in weird places but it’s always linked to her suffering with an inflamed bowel. is it definitely all of them doing it? Maybe 1 is unwell?

Your husband is an absolute fool.

I sincerely hope he will be a better husband and parent than he is pet owner. He should be ashamed of his stubborn stupidity. Letting unneutered cats out to get pregnant is just unbelievably idiotic and selfish.

They are neutered and it was OP who brought them in, despite not being the cat person.
Her DP "was too busy".