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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?

436 replies

notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 22:00

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

OP posts:
ImNoSuperman · 17/10/2024 23:15

AgileGreenSeal · 17/10/2024 22:58

Honestly I would refuse to live in a house like that, especially while pregnant. That’s horrible for you.

When I was expecting my fourth child I went right off our cats and they had to live outside from then on. I couldn’t even look at them, they just turned my stomach. You have my sincere sympathy.

Aren't you delightful

Hope your cats were rehomed somewhere they were actually cared about instead of being dumped outside.

Properly cats for cats are not a risk during pregnancy. Putting your cats outside increased the risk! Ignorance like yours is the problem

valentinka31 · 17/10/2024 23:15

notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 22:00

We have 4 cats that are causing major issues. They're constantly pooing and weeing all over the house, including in the bath. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried about having a baby crawling around cat mess.

The utility room and study combined are the size of 2 bedrooms and have a cat flap, so they'd still have plenty of space and outdoor access. They've had their jabs to go outside.

DH lets them roam freely 24/7, even when we're not home. I want them confined to that room, maybe let out for a couple hours in the evening under supervision.

DH loves them but they're completely uncontrollable. The mess is disgusting and I'm at my wit's end. AIBU to insist on this compromise? I'm not a cat person but I think it's reasonable. DH won't budge and it's really getting me down.

How would you handle this? Am I being unfair to the cats?

cats can give pregnant women a dangerous virus. You absolutely can't be exposed to this.

Why don't the cats go outside? Why all over the floor? Keep them in the utilty but give them free access outside

Comingupriver · 17/10/2024 23:15

And check the one wee-img the bath for infection. This is cat neglect not a cat problem.

OkPedro · 17/10/2024 23:15

I hope this isn't true.. poor cats 😭

Lancasterel · 17/10/2024 23:14

notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 23:05

He's now got angry and said I'm exaggerating it;

So just for reclassification; two of them the indoor cats poo probably once a week somewhere random

The wee is often in the bath from one in particular and this is a new trend that they've done three times in the last fortnight

I still think this is massively abnormal but DY is very arrogant and is saying it isn't that often

I would also make them all outdoor cats, for you and for them!

Comingupriver · 17/10/2024 23:14

I’m going to say it again. Get a litter robot. You husband isn’t doing a proper job. Cats are incredibly clean and won’t use a soiled or smelly tray.

get a litter robot.

MSLRT · 17/10/2024 23:13

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 17/10/2024 23:11

Er - yes. Actually you really can have cats around newborns.

Show quote history

In normal circumstances yes. But not four who are not housetrained and shitting all over the house.

ThomasPatrickKeatingsDegas · 17/10/2024 23:13

notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 23:02

I honestly don't know who cleans it when we are on hold but last time we were the cleaner came and said there were skids everywhere she cleaned up 🤮

Why are you with him? He doesn’t care that you are living in this disgusting environment and now he doesn’t care it could harm his newborn baby. Insanity. Please leave him. Honestly I can’t imagine the rest of your relationship is strong if he walks all over you whilst neglecting his animals.

StarDolphins · 17/10/2024 23:12

TheOGCCL · 17/10/2024 23:10

@StarDolphins The rescues are full of cats who are dumped after a baby is born, though most people claim the child has an ‘allergy’. People don’t take responsibility even though it’s a living being, I’ll never get my head round it.

Totally agree & it’s so utterly sad & depressing😩 it’s to ease their guilt.

My wonderful dog was given away to me because the owner was pregnant & completely lost interest.

AnotherEmma · 17/10/2024 23:12

notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 22:12

@InvisibleRadiator he had one before meeting me, then he begged me for a second. He kept letting her out to get pregnant (which I didn't realise) and then she got pregnant again and he wanted to keep one from each litter. It's been a nightmare and I did it because I love him and felt bad giving the whole litter away

What a complete and utter bellend. I'd have been furious. It's done now but absolutely no way you get a cat and let it out without getting it neutered first.

Rehome the cats and then the husband.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/10/2024 23:12

Lancasterel · 17/10/2024 23:04

If they have a cat flap and spend time outdoors why don’t you train them to poo/wee out there?

My old cat went outside , only ever used a tray if she was locked in (like if we were taking her to the Vet after work and she knew....so went out !)
She had her own dug over soil patch .

The ones we have now come inside , use the trays and walk out .

Though our boy did use one of my flowerpots once , he perched on it , dug a bit , poohed and eyeballed me "Yesss. What are you going to do about it?"

AgileGreenSeal · 17/10/2024 23:12

SapphOhNo · 17/10/2024 22:53

Those poor cats. Shame on you both.

It’s not OP’s fault. She made her position clear at the outset.

Lancasterel · 17/10/2024 23:11

notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 23:06

@Lancasterel how can you do that?

I think that’s what normally happens isn’t it?
We did it both times we had cats from kittens anyway. Our current two stayed inside for a few months with a litter tray before they were fully jabbed, used to their surroundings etc, and then we put a cat flap in and trained them… you start by putting the litter tray just outside the cat flap and plonking them on it, showing them where it is etc etc and then move it gradually further away down the garden… our final step (advised by a friend!) was after a few days to sprinkle some of the litter granules at the edge of the garden so they can smell it when they come back from exploring or whatever, and then that was it.

I think it’s pretty normal to train cats to go outside. Lots of advice on Google as well.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 17/10/2024 23:11

AgileGreenSeal · 17/10/2024 23:07

Yes, you cannot have cats around newborns. Especially cats that poo and wee everywhere. Get them out of your home now.

Show quote history

Er - yes. Actually you really can have cats around newborns.

ImNoSuperman · 17/10/2024 23:11

You're neglectful. Scooping 3 litter trays twice a day, morning and evening and cleaning out fully every 2 or 3 days should be fine. The cats are stressed. You don't like them and they won't be happy in an environment of arguments and resentment.

Peeing in the bath is a sign of cystitis - stress related probably.

MSLRT · 17/10/2024 23:10

The upshot is that you cannot bring a new born back to a situation like this. It’s disgusting and the house must be full of germs. Your husband can make all the excuses he likes and change his story to suit his own narrative but it doesn’t change the fact that the situation is completely unreasonable. Frankly I would leave him with his cats and move out.

TheOGCCL · 17/10/2024 23:10

@StarDolphins The rescues are full of cats who are dumped after a baby is born, though most people claim the child has an ‘allergy’. People don’t take responsibility even though it’s a living being, I’ll never get my head round it.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 17/10/2024 23:10

AgileGreenSeal · 17/10/2024 23:07

Yes, you cannot have cats around newborns. Especially cats that poo and wee everywhere. Get them out of your home now.

Show quote history

That's nonsense. Of course you can have cats around new borns.

Original poster
notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 23:10

This says scoop out daily but change once a week?

DH is changing once every 2-3 days the whole thing.

I know nothing about cats I'm just the one fed up

AIBU to expect 4 cats to stay in utility room/study?
OP posts:
Comingupriver · 17/10/2024 23:09

You need a litter robot. Best money you’ll spend. Also take the cats to the vet to rule out infections.

stormsandsunshine · 17/10/2024 23:09

notaurewhatusername · 17/10/2024 22:59

Two of the cats go outside my husband just said to use the toilet.

The other two are indoor cats and they have three large trays litter between them. He is now telling me he scoops it daily and changes litter completely every 2 or three days - is this unreasonable?

If this was true it would be fine. But his story keeps changing, and also the cats’ behaviour suggests they are not happy with their trays. If the trays are truly immaculate but the cats are still toileting everywhere then you have other and bigger problems because there is something wrong physically or emotionally with them which needs solving.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 17/10/2024 23:09

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 17/10/2024 22:06

4 cats is too many unless you have a very large property and/or they've grown up together, it's seems like you've just added cats. Their behaviour is showing you they are stressed and not happy, no you can't confine them to two rooms that will only make it worse

I've had 4 cats and never had anything like this. We didn't even have 1 litter tray. They all went out. These cats are severely stressed.

AgileGreenSeal · 17/10/2024 23:09

Verbena17 · 17/10/2024 23:06

If you don’t sort it, once the baby comes and if the midwife or health visitor pop round, pretty sure they’ll be making notes about a dirty/ neglectful home if there’s animal faeces everywhere.

Maybe your DH will sort out the problem if you explain the above and he realises there’s a very real chance of having a social services visit if the situation isn’t dealt with.

Edited

It doesn’t bear thinking about 😫🤦‍♀️ Why on earth is OP putting up with this horrible situation. It’s disgusting.

StarDolphins · 17/10/2024 23:08

AgileGreenSeal · 17/10/2024 23:07

Yes, you cannot have cats around newborns. Especially cats that poo and wee everywhere. Get them out of your home now.

Show quote history

Don’t be so ridiculous, cats are perfectly fine round newborns. The op isn’t licking up all their shit🙄

StarDolphins · 17/10/2024 23:07

Why when there’s an issue does everyone start saying ‘rehome’ like they’re old shoes/bags.

No, you’ve taken the poor things on, it’s their home & you’re responsible for them. Do the right thing for them & look after them properly I.e clean the shit out of the cat litter more frequently, get Feliway etc.

No wonder the rescue centres are on their absolute knees🙄