To be devastated that my husband won't let our 2yo be a 2yo

So you would be perfectly happy to go to work all day until 7pm, come home and clean up, bath your child, clean up again, put child to bed, clean up again, have dinner and then go to bed and do it all again the next day. Despite the fact there's a whole other parent in the house

So because he doesn't pay 100% of the household bills it's ok for him to essentially work 24/7?
He'd have less to do and be in the same financial situation if op worked or child was in childcare

Because he works and she doesn't!
He gets home at 7pm and if the house was tidy since op has had all day to do it he might have more patience to do fun things. If he didn't know that he'd be expected to clean up the duplo and Teddy and teaset because dd isn't allowed to be taught to tidy her own things, maybe he'd be happier about them all being out.
It must be so shit to work til 7, come home to tidy up and then your child is in bed. It's got nothing to do with him being a man, if he didn't work the housework and childcare would fall to him on weekdays

It should already be tidy because you and dd should tidy up after yourselves.
Yes poor him working until 7pm while you play games all day, have a cleaner and think tidying up isn't for you

Again the being a shit dad was a drip feed for sympathy and if he didn't come home to a messy house maybe he'd have more patience. If OP didn't think dd shouldn't be taught to tidy up maybe he'd have more patience. Who knows

These are just a few of your comments, all berating towards the OP and scolding her for not keeping a tidy house.

None of what you have said or continue to say even suggests you support a 50/50 split when both parents are at home.

These comments came after I'd said that it should be a 50/50 split and you posted all the above as to why it shouldn't.

You do it all as a single parent because you have to. OP isn't a single parent amd should be able rely on her husband to pull his weight outside of working hours.

Which is what I said, parents should be doing 50/50 when both parents are home and you went off on saying that they shouldn't?!

Because it's obvious that OP's DH is rigid and overbearing about the tidying and dealing with his toddler daughter. You may be a fantastic parent, but he certainly isn't.

Im a fantastic parent and at nursery children are taught from 1yo to tidy up after themselves in a fun way. At 7pm the house should be tidy and child winding down for bed.
Why is it so difficult to accept someone has a different opinion?!

No it shouldn't and no they shouldn't. OP is doing a great job, letting her child learn while she plays, using her imagination, not making a petty fuss about tidying up one toy before she's allowed to pay with another.

You should marry the OP's DH and you could both live in a spotless tidy house with an unhappy toddler. I'd rather be a good parent than a good cleaner.

I'm a single parent, so if you could stop with the assumptions that I have no chidlren and have a husband and whatever else.

Because in my opinion working is a lot more stressful and takes a lot more than being a stay at home parent. So again in my opinion (so you don't think I'm spouting 'facts') the working parent contributes 50/50 parenting on weekends. If they want to do more then great.

But your airing your outdated opinions as though they are fact and rather than thinking the man needs to adjust his expectations, your berating the OP for not performing her womanly role and pleasing her her man properly.

You come across like a mouthpiece for your sexist husband.

So why does working full time mean he shouldn't contribute an equal share of work and childcare at home?

I'd be disgusted if my husband did nothing to help round the house or with parenting because he works 38 hours a week.

A full time working Mom doesn't get to check out and do nothing round the house, a part time working Mlm doesn't get to check out and a stay at home Mom doesn't get to check out

Why the fury and anger that a man should do what's expected of a woman?

God forbid someone has a difference of opinion.
In my OPINION which I am entitled to. The stay at home patent does the housework and childcare. If you both work it's 50/50 if one is part time it's 25/75.

Again the being a shit dad was a drip feed for sympathy and if he didn't come home to a messy house maybe he'd have more patience. If OP didn't think dd shouldn't be taught to tidy up maybe he'd have more patience. Who knows.

Well if you put up with your partner doing nothing round the house, not contributing to parenting and only ever making your children cry then yes, you've no respect for yourself.

An unequal partnership isn't healthy.

ODFOD.

Your pulling this out of your arse now to suit your narrative.

He doesn't want to do bath time because the two year old splashes, he doesn't to read to her because she moves and reaches for other books, he tells her off for not facing forward while drinking, he doesn't want to tidy up because he thinks he shouldn't be doing anything around the house as it's not his job.

He is financially better off with OP not working because he is saving himself 50% of childcare fees and only paying half towards the household because OP pays her half share.

The house is obviously tidy enough for a cleaner to clean twice a week, a cleaner doesn't tidy and won't tidy before they clean

God forbid has to put three things away.

If he's so capable and has deemed the OP of being incapable, where is his offer to swap roles?!

He can't even bath a toddler without causing tears.

I don't like and have zero respect for myself, hmm OK then.

I have kids and I know it's not 24/7 work.
Nap time, independent play, sensory play etc all times when you get a break. Being able to go to a friends for a coffee, have a tv show on in the background, potter in the garden etc I love being a sahm because it's not as difficult and lots more fun than working, especially until 7pm

Are you her husband?!

Just admit you don't like and have zero respect for stay at home parents

It seems he doesn't see them as fun though as the two year-old is told off when he does do it.

He told her off for splashing water in the bath and told her off for reaching for a second book

He should be expected to adjust his attitude towards parenting, not the rest of the household pander to him

It should already be tidy because you and dd should tidy up after yourselves.
Yes poor him working until 7pm while you play games all day, have a cleaner and think tidying up isn't for you.

Because he works and she doesn't!
He gets home at 7pm and if the house was tidy since op has had all day to do it he might have more patience to do fun things. If he didn't know that he'd be expected to clean up the duplo and Teddy and teaset because dd isn't allowed to be taught to tidy her own things, maybe he'd be happier about them all being out.

It must be so shit to work til 7, come home to tidy up and then your child is in bed. It's got nothing to do with him being a man, if he didn't work the housework and childcare would fall to him on weekdays.

So he misses most of the fun things to do with having a small child and loads the dishwasher instead. Maybe encourage story reading downstairs at the week-ends? Stories don't need to be confined to bedtime, and reading a story, child on lap or beside you, is a good way of winding down from more exciting play. There are some super books out there, too!

The OP doesn't expect him to come home and do all the clearning up, bath their daughter and put her to bed. She just doesn't want him to come home when she is cooking and their daughter is playing with her toys and to start complaining about the mess. She doesn't want him to to lose his temper with his child when he baths her and reads her a story. He has no patience or kindness towards his child.

He's using a different parenting style. And since most manuals of child development and how to parent contradict each other and some things have to be taught because they are second order learning (like reading, maths, physics, history, manners etc) there is no reason why he should not. Such teaching needs to be done early and consistently. OP and DH need to talk about this - not everything is learned through imaginative play.
Like all modern couples they also seem to have a very mine/yours/family expenses view of finance, which I find chilling.