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AIBU?

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To go to a book festival event on my own?

37 replies

GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:14

I bought 2 tickets to an event - a literature festival talk - near me next week and asked a friend a couple of weeks ago if she’d like to come. Unfortunately I got the event date wrong and I said it was yesterday.

The event is taking place not far from our workplace, so she went to our workplace yesterday specifically because of it. I didn’t check my messages yesterday until 5/6ish, and saw she’d texted to check the event was still on and it was only then when I realised I’d given her the wrong date. I apologised big time as soon as I’d realised my mistake. I felt really bad and also pretty embarrassed that I’d messed up, as I just hadn’t realised I’d made a mistake with the date and it’s really out of character for me to do.

She’s replied and has been very kind about it, and said she can’t make it next week. I just feel really stupid at myself. The only thing I can think that I did it is that I’ve had a lot on at work recently, so have been focusing on that and not really had as much time as usual for other stuff.

I’m checking with a couple of other friends to see if they’d like to come, but not sure if they’ll be able to. If no one else can come, would I be unreasonable to go on my own? I really would like to go but also feel a bit weird about going on my own.

I think I’m finding it tricky as I’m feeling stupid that I didn’t double check the date in my invite to my friend, feeling like I let her down and also combined with that feeling awkward at the idea of maybe having to go to the talk on my own.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
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Gallowayan · 21/10/2024 11:15

Yes definitely go alone there is nothing odd about doing so. And try to enjoy it. Everyone makes mistakes like that occasionally.

MellowYellow552 · 21/10/2024 10:37

@JennaRink Mine was fully booked at the weekend, and there were lots of people who came by themselves, as well as those who brought friends along - like you say, nobody notices anything. Many people came up to chat as well as ask me to sign their book, so it was a really good event.

JennaRink · 18/10/2024 13:13

Im a writer who just came from one of these and most people attend alone.

No one will bat an eyelid.

YellowphantGrey · 18/10/2024 13:01

GoldOnyx · 18/10/2024 12:32

Thanks all! I appreciate all your thoughts and have found them helpful. After thinking through things, I think I’m most frustrated at my scattiness for giving my friend the wrong date, so will be mindful of how to get better organised, to avoid that happening again.

It happens though, it was an oversight and not intentional or malicious.

Doesn't sound like it happens all the time or even at all with you so don't beat yourself up about it

MellowYellow552 · 18/10/2024 12:58

Not coming to see me are you?! I am speaking at a literary festival tomorrow. Come and say hello if you are!

And absolutely no reason not to go by yourself. Most people that go to these things are happy to chat.

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 18/10/2024 12:47

Why not? I've gone to lots of things by myself over the years. I secretly quite like it because I get to do exactly what I want to do, stay as long as I want or leave as early as I want without disappointing anyone else. Do it.

emmetgirl · 18/10/2024 12:36

Yes! Definitely go!
I've been to many events like this on my own as I have weekdays off and not weekends so often don't have anyone to go with.
I actually prefer going alone if I'm honest.
Please don't miss out on something you want to do for fear of going alone!

GoldOnyx · 18/10/2024 12:32

Thanks all! I appreciate all your thoughts and have found them helpful. After thinking through things, I think I’m most frustrated at my scattiness for giving my friend the wrong date, so will be mindful of how to get better organised, to avoid that happening again.

OP posts:
unmemorableusername · 18/10/2024 10:20

I've only ever gone to these types of events on my own. It's quite niche & difficult to find a likeminded pal to go with.

Most people will be solo.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 18/10/2024 09:17

I'd get my friend some flowers to apologise

GretchenWienersHair · 18/10/2024 09:15

YANBU. I actually prefer going to these things alone. Even though I’m usually a very sociable person, I always feel a slight pang of disappointment when I realise someone I know is going to or at the same literary event as me!

frannygallops · 18/10/2024 09:14

I go to loads of these events on my own. I'm going to a huge event in November where I don't know anyone attending, or any of the authors (I'm going in a work capacity, but would also go by myself if it wasn't work related). You'll find a large number of people are by themselves too. It's not an issue, honestly.

Pancakeflipper · 18/10/2024 09:14

Go.
Lots of people (me included) go to events on their own.

Holotropic · 18/10/2024 09:13

I think you’re overthinking getting the date wrong. Everyone does it at some point (look at the current thread on booking wrong flights/wrong airport/ showing up a week early/late), and it’s not as if your friend took a 3-hour train journey to find an empty marquee at the end of it. You’ve apologised. You can’t do any more.

Book events, like cinema and theatre, are among those where there’s very little extra benefit to doing it with friends because you’re essentially sitting silently in a group, watching and listening. Totally go. Or, if it’s near your workplace, are there any colleagues you like you could offer the spare ticket to?

YellowphantGrey · 18/10/2024 09:06

I do lots of things on my own as I always feel guilty if someone is with me and like I have to make sure they are having a good time. On my own, I take my own time and do as I please.

I once had a spare ticket for an author event, friend offer to fill the space and was bored and talked through it and scrolled on her phone, ever since I've gone it alone!

Valeriekat · 18/10/2024 09:02

I love going to events on my own!
I only like going to events with other people if they are going to enjoy them!

EmeraldRoulette · 17/10/2024 21:08

I normally go alone - I'd like company but don't have anyone to come with me

Go. Or take me 😂

I understand your updates but i'm sure she'll let you off one incident of scattiness.

MsNeis · 17/10/2024 21:04

Hapagirl48 · 17/10/2024 19:30

I go to these things on my own as a treat to myself!

Haha! I was going to say the same!
Enjoy, OP 😊

GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:36

I suppose actually I’m most worried that my scattiness re the event date has affected my friendship. It’s actually worried me a bit too, as I’m normally very organised and it’s something I really pride myself on (just privately - not in a knobbish way!)

OP posts:
GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:35

I definitely will enjoy it as the person speaking at the event is someone I’ve admired for a while and I’m sure they’ll have lots of interesting things to say.

OP posts:
GoldOnyx · 17/10/2024 19:34

Thanks all. I actually have been to similar events on my own in the past. With this one, because I originally had someone to go with (as I’d invited my friend) and then I got the date wrong so she can no longer come, and feel frustrated at myself, I think that’s affecting my thinking. Does that make sense?

OP posts:
Dinosweetpea · 17/10/2024 19:34

I went to a book festival event last weekend, I went with a friend but it was the sort of thing that would be a perfectly normal thing to go to on your own. You will have a lovely time, everyone there will have shared interests- that's why you are all there x

nocoolnamesleft · 17/10/2024 19:33

Sounds like the sort of thing I'd happily go to solo. Now, going to a whole book convention on my own without knowing anyone was a bit of a facer, but so glad I did.

Hapagirl48 · 17/10/2024 19:31

Arran2024 · 17/10/2024 19:29

I go to all sorts of stuff on my own and so do lots of other people. I was at a concert last month with my OH and a lady came and sat next to me - she is in her 70s and goes to concerts all the time, and her last one was Bruce Springsteen at Wembley! I have Odeon limitless and go to the cinema on my own. It's a good skill to have.

I would totally go to Bruce Springsteen on my own but my DH always tags along.

ANagsHead · 17/10/2024 19:31

Definitely go!

And if it makes you feel any better, and you can afford it, get a copy of the relevant book to give to your friend. But don’t worry - we all make mistakes occasionally.