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Original poster

Found out I was left out of secret family inheritance

258 replies

Teaortea · 17/10/2024 17:50

I am married with two children. I live in the UK but grew up in a different country where my DM and DB still live.

A few years ago my aunt in my home country (DMs brother's wife) passed away. They had no children.

I found out 6 months ago that at the time my DM and DB (single, no kids) inherited £10,000 each and agreed between them not to tell me.
One one knows why my aunt left me out, possibly dementia? Or not being in the same country?

I felt sick when I found out, both at the fact that they'd conspired together to not tell me and that they didn't share any of the money, especially my DM didn't even send my DCs a little bonus or anything.

I'm not saying I am entitled to any of the money but I am feeling left out of the family and protective of my kids who seem to mean nothing to rhem.
There is a history of my DM treating me badly bordeinf on neglect and abuse when I was younger, favouring my DB but this seems so unbelievable, even for them!

My DH says it's unforgivable the way they've left me out, lied by omission and not even wanted to gift the kids.

Aibu to still feel upset and that they were the unreasonable ones? I have been LC since finding out.

OP posts:
Lyannaa · 17/10/2024 18:06

Wellingtonspie · 17/10/2024 18:05

Your aunty left her money to who she’s wished as is her right. Nobody has to share with anybody that they have inherited either.

You seem very mad or upset over money you have no right or claim too. Rather grabby. Maybe why they didn’t tell you.

Would you treat your sister the way the OP was treated?

Lyannaa · 17/10/2024 18:05

Your family sound toxic - I would cut them off personally. Especially when you seem to suggest that your mother was a narcissist during your formative years.

Wellingtonspie · 17/10/2024 18:05

Your aunty left her money to who she’s wished as is her right. Nobody has to share with anybody that they have inherited either.

You seem very mad or upset over money you have no right or claim too. Rather grabby. Maybe why they didn’t tell you.

Littletreefrog · 17/10/2024 18:05

Maybe they didn't tell you so as not to upset you that you weren't in the will. They have no obligation to share or give your kids anything. Maybe your Mum has put hers in the bank for you/your kids to inherit from her. I dont think you really have any grounds to be upset with them.

Wherehasallthetimegone · 17/10/2024 18:04

I totally sympathise OP.

Yiur aunt was perfectly entitled to leave her money to whom she wished and even if it does seem hurtful to leave you out there are possible valid explanations.

But it's the deliberate secrecy of your DM and DB I would find difficult to get past. I had this in my own family: I was deliberately left out of things that the rest of the family knew about. I was made to feel like an outsider. So I totally get why you feel so upset by this.

SophiaJ8 · 17/10/2024 18:02

Did you ever go back and visit your Dear Aunt?

Catza · 17/10/2024 18:01

Your aunt's wish was to leave the money to your mum and brother and I am not sure they have any obligation to share. The reason they haven't told you is to avoid the exact situation that is happening now you found out.
You say you recognised you are not entitled to anything and if that is true then I'm not sure why you are feeling upset. And I am saying it as someone who has experience of being written out of a will.

NeedToChangeName · 17/10/2024 18:00

I'd guess that your aunt felt closer to your DM and DB, if they lived nearby. Perhaps they helped her a lot and this was her way of thanking them?

I can understand why they didn't tell you, if they thought you'd be upset by it