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Original poster

Rare few hours with husband at a spa... he hasn't asked me a single question

165 replies

SHAW82 · 17/10/2024 12:02

At a spa with my husband for a v v v rare few hours together without the kids. He's not asked me one question or shown any interest or curiosity. I have asked him questions and he's talked about himself. How does he expect us to connect?

OP posts:
Original poster
SHAW82 · 17/10/2024 13:07

Birdscratch · 17/10/2024 12:04

I’d just be glad of the quiet. I am divorced though …

It's not quiet though... he's talking 😂. Also, we had lunch which was s good time. Could have felt like a dare of sorts. I just think it's a rare opportunity to connect, which is much needed. Feel like he has no interest in me. Not sure it's deliberate but it has an impact.

OP posts:
Lucy377 · 17/10/2024 13:06

It's 'being a man'. No?

Self absorbed. They don't necessarily think of others, rather they think of how they look to others.

Their only interest in you is the level of your interest in them, and how available you are to meet their needs.

It's interesting when you turn off the caring and attention tap.
You realise they have absolutely no interest or curiosity about you.

Pandasnacks · 17/10/2024 13:05

Frith2013 · 17/10/2024 13:03

I've never met anyone in real life who has been to a spa.

And?

Ivehearditbothways · 17/10/2024 13:05

Frith2013 · 17/10/2024 13:03

I've never met anyone in real life who has been to a spa.

Ok?

Mirabai · 17/10/2024 13:05

Birdscratch · 17/10/2024 12:04

I’d just be glad of the quiet. I am divorced though …

😂

Frith2013 · 17/10/2024 13:03

I've never met anyone in real life who has been to a spa.

alwaysmovingforwards · 17/10/2024 13:03

Jeez, a Q&A session at a spa!?!
OP, you seem really needy / high maintenance imo.

Weverunoutofteabags · 17/10/2024 13:02

Why are you on your phone and expecting to chat at a spa? Your DH probably wants to relax and you're there yapping in his ear, can't imagine that's very relaxing

biscuitandcake · 17/10/2024 13:00

Dollybantree · 17/10/2024 12:23

It sounds like you are a talker and he isn’t?

I love my dh but honestly I sometimes run out of things to talk to him about. He however could chat all day. At a spa I’d want to relax and keep chat minimal.

But, it sounds like he is happily chatting away about himself? Its OP who isn't doing any talking.

WestwardHo1 · 17/10/2024 13:00

IVFmumoftwo · 17/10/2024 12:48

Next thing you know you are texting "we need bread".

Show quote history

So true. Sigh.

PaminaMozart · 17/10/2024 12:58

It could be this...

I thought that was the point of a spa? I’d be pretty frustrated if I was trying to relax and my husband kept boarding me with questions!

Or this:-

I'm guessing this might not be a difference in spa etiquette and you might be having a bit of a moment where you realise that this has happened your entire relationship...

If you you could elaborate you might get some useful answers...

dreamer24 · 17/10/2024 12:57

I've been with mine 9 years and we have a toddler. I still get asked how my day was and other questions. 🤷‍♀️

dreamer24 · 17/10/2024 12:56

Idrinklotsofcoffee · 17/10/2024 12:34

Men don't ask women questions. Once you notice it, you'll never be able to unsee it.

Mine does.

Smartiepants79 · 17/10/2024 12:56

WestwardHo1 · 17/10/2024 12:47

9 months?

Honeymoon period.

You wait.

Show quote history

I’ve been married 16 years…. He still asks after me all the time! More than I do him.🤷🏼‍♀️

Smartiepants79 · 17/10/2024 12:54

Idrinklotsofcoffee · 17/10/2024 12:34

Men don't ask women questions. Once you notice it, you'll never be able to unsee it.

Mine does.
A lot. Even when I’d rather he didn’t 😁.
He can be quite needy sometimes though and likes my attention when I’d rather just be relaxing quietly.
Just happens occasionally ‘talk to me will you’ in an irritated, sad face manner. Gives me the rage. It’s normally been preceded by him spending ages scrolling!

Grammarnut · 17/10/2024 12:54

Why are you asking each other questions? D'you not talk otherwise? You're at a spa together, talk about something else than each other or about shared interests. It's not an interrogation fest/test about how much he cares about you. He's there, he cares.

afrikat · 17/10/2024 12:53

TashaTudor · 17/10/2024 12:49

I always wonder what married couples talk about, surely you already know everything about each other and what each other are doing. I wouldn't want to be talking about kids or work or friends etc

We talk about current events, what podcasts we are listening to, different films we have watched, what holiday we fancy next year, house renovations we want to do, we gossip about friends.. Also kids stuff, timings for the coming week, what we are going to eat, what exercise we have planned this week, what's going on at work (not much, we bother get bored with work chat). Loads of stuff!

GivingitToGod · 17/10/2024 12:53

Needmorelego · 17/10/2024 12:04

I assume he's relaxing.
Isn't that what spas are for?

Exactly. To destress and chill out. No/minimal conversation

Pandasnacks · 17/10/2024 12:51

Spas aren't for chats really, childfree lunch would be, but child free spa with your spouse is to relax and enjoy your own quiet space, alongside your loved one in this case.

CheeseWisely · 17/10/2024 12:51

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/10/2024 12:10

I don't want to be interviewed at a spa, personally.

Same. DH actually just got me a spa day for my birthday. It's just for me. He could in theory get a day pass and come with, but we both know it wouldn't be a real totally relaxing day with someone else's thoughts and needs and questions(!) to contend with.

Ivehearditbothways · 17/10/2024 12:51

You women really have very very low standards.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 17/10/2024 12:50

I was in the steam room once and two women came in yammering away. It totally ruined it for me and I had to leave.

I wouldn’t think too much of it at the spa. Maybe he was relaxing. What would happen if you went to dinner? Definitely pull him up on it if it’s a consistent thing though.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 17/10/2024 12:50

What is it you want / need questioning on ?

what did you question him on ?

afrikat · 17/10/2024 12:49

If I want conversation with my husband we go for a walk or for dinner or drinks. If we were at a spa I'd be so annoyed if he was peppering me with questions. I'd also be irritated if I was trying to relax at a spa and people nearby were chattering away.

TashaTudor · 17/10/2024 12:49

I always wonder what married couples talk about, surely you already know everything about each other and what each other are doing. I wouldn't want to be talking about kids or work or friends etc