Rare few hours with husband at a spa... he hasn't asked me a single question

I read OP's opening comment as "I have asked him questions and he has answered them." This implies to me that she is firing questions at him and he is answering them. To not answer them would be rude. It doesn't mean he's happy answering them or that he's jabbering away about himself.

What kinda questions are you asking him or what questions do you want him to ask you?

I personally think being in each other's company at a spa is a good enough way to connect, without asking questions. Last time I was at a spa with my other half I think the majority of our conversation was "oh my God this amazing" repeated over and over 🤣

I’m amazed at how many people seem to think that the OPs issue is that she wants to talk and her husband doesn’t . Even after she has clarified her concern. Which is < shouting for those at the back >

HE IS TALKING ALL ABOUT HIMSELF AND NOT SHOWING ANY INTEREST IN HER

I hate talking at spas, it's somewhere I go to get away from people not to have a lively conversation about my innermost thoughts! Maybe your husband feels the same way.

I thought this but we ended up in one because it was free with our hotel stay and we went to see what it was like. I was honestly shocked at how much he ended up enjoying it, far more than I did. Now we try to book them on purpose for him.

This sounds like a case of crossed expectations.
Usually if I go on a spa day with people it's my girlfriends. We chat and catch up etc. If I want peace I go alone. So me going to a spa with DH I would be seeing it the same as you and a chance to connect. I'd be sat there overthinking why he wasn't connecting /making conversation etc.

DH would probably be sat in blissful ignorance having a relaxing time and thinking what a lovely day it was. For him (and I believe stereotypically a lot of blokes?!) the shared experience would be the bonding bit. Chat optional.

Probably haven't summarised that well, but basically trying to say enjoy the spa and don't overthink it. Most likely everything is fine and you'll wish you haven't worried!!

He’s relaxing

I would have thought so. I wouldn't expect my husband to ask me questions. If there are things you want him to know just tell him.

He obviously thinks that connecting means talking about important things like his life, opinions and feelings. If he was interested in you, he would ask.

I wouldn't really think of a spa as a place to chat. Out for a drink or a meal, yes. But maybe this is always a problem between you?

Unless you are feeling distant from your DH in general I wouldn't be concerned about a few hours of silence in a spa, indeed I'd welcome it. My DH loves to chat so a spa day in peace would be bliss 😂

At this point is where I would have communicated.

Say this isn't an argument, I feel like this is a rare date for us so I'd like us both to enjoy it. I feel like I've been asking about you and I'd love it to be reciprocated. It's make me feel happy if you could. Thank you.

Why does it make her hard work to expect a normal conversation?

Do you not talk about mundane stuff at home though? I don't think there's anything DP could ask me that would be of import, that he wouldn't already know. Do you not talk daily? Do you not update each other if something of interest has happened?

This is why the men who do ask women questions and listen to the answers are successful at dating.

I hate when DP is in an asking questions about nowt mood, when I just want to chill. When we're having a meal or drinks, or pottering at home yes, but chill time like a spa, I'd be silently seething.

You have to go on gut feeling OP. With some partners this would mean nothing, with others it would be a sign that he is not interested in you.

TBF you are on your phone moaning about him, which isn't the greatest sign either.

In that case he sounds like my dh!

Have you pointed out to him how it makes you feel? That conversation should be a two way thing? I did, and he definitely tries harder now.

I think I’ve also accepted it’s who he is though - he takes after his dm who talks incessantly too and can go into monologues. Some people don’t seem to cope well with silence and feel they have to fill it which leads to them talking about what they know - themselves! I’m the opposite - quite happy to sit quietly, don’t particularly like talking about myself. We probably make a good couple really🤣

Tell him how you feel I’d say, in a non-confrontational way. One of the things I said to dh was “can you tell me what you like best about me because I sometimes don’t feel you ever ask me anything about myself”? He was a bit shocked and it got us talking about what we love about one another which is nice. You sound like you need some attention, but is he oblivious to this?

Why is connecting all about how you feel? I connected to my late DH through our work together. Our best times were discussing our writing and painting, working co-operatively. Also connected through talking about things we were interested in and what we liked doing apart from our work. Him asking how I felt, or vice versa, sounds a bit artificial - more like the prelude to a row about how 'you don't understand me'/'you never listen to me'. We connected through what we did together.

Find someone that likes you op.

Sometimes the best chats, time to connect, are not pre-planned. Like a walk or an annoyingly long drive.
You can connect without asking constant questions... just enjoy being with each other.
Also, men are dense.

Well you haven't met many people have you, I go twice a year!

Unless you ask everyone you ever meet, which would be strange, I'd imagine that you probably have. Maybe not in your own family and social circle, but that may well be down to you all sharing similar interests or location or socio-economics into which a spa day doesn't fit.

If I was at the spa and you kept trying to talk to me - I'd be tempted to drown you in the hot tub

Maybe he wants to relax.