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Original poster

To have put it on fb?

85 replies

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 16/10/2024 23:10

Elderly relative had a big birthday last week. We are a tiny family so l took on the lion's share of organising everything and went all out with a gift, meals and a lovely day out doing something she has been wanting to do for ages. Spent a fortune but just wanted to make her happy. She told everyone from waiters to people on the train that she was celebrating her big birthday so l thought it was ok to not keep it a secret. Did a little fb post saying happy birthday with a lovely picture of her which in hindsight was stupid of me cos she's not on there but one of her neighbours saw it and she has had a proper pop at me tonight and told me to take it down immediately. Said l have really upset her by doing that which l am mortified about.
Feel like shit now after what was such a lovely few days and think l have ruined all the memories we made. Aarrgghh why did l do that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 16/10/2024 23:26

forgotmypassagain · 16/10/2024 23:23

Look I don’t post much on Facebook and I ask permission if it’s not relating to me - was my parents’ golden wedding anniversary recently and I asked their permission to post a pic. That being said, if she was telling everyone it was her birthday I can totally see why you posted it.

remember you did it with good intentions. Just take it down and don’t think too much more about it.

you were very kind in the first place to make a fuss over her birthday - many people are not this lucky. 😊

Thank you, l have taken it down now - we have put family pics on there before and it hasn't been an issue.

Been planning it for months and just wanted it to be nice for her.

OP posts:
sandyhappypeople · 16/10/2024 23:24

She will see it as an invasion of her privacy and is well within her rights to feel annoyed by it. The difference is with her telling people you came across is that it was her news to share, not yours, you shouldn't have assumed you could put it all over facebook when she isn't even on there, especially if you used a picture of her, there may be a reason she isn't on there.

Just apologise and tell her you made a big mistake and didn't intend to upset her, so you've now taken it down, hopefully she will forgive you and not let it overshadow the good time you had.

I do wonder why people feel compelled to post things like that though without people's consent, it seems to be more for you benefit than hers, if you were looking for acknowledgements of your efforts then her happiness should have been all you needed.

Icanflyhigh · 16/10/2024 23:23

I have a sibling who does this - every single iota of their life is there for the world to see. Even if asked not to, yep if finds its way there via her. It's so tedious.

forgotmypassagain · 16/10/2024 23:23

Look I don’t post much on Facebook and I ask permission if it’s not relating to me - was my parents’ golden wedding anniversary recently and I asked their permission to post a pic. That being said, if she was telling everyone it was her birthday I can totally see why you posted it.

remember you did it with good intentions. Just take it down and don’t think too much more about it.

you were very kind in the first place to make a fuss over her birthday - many people are not this lucky. 😊

Original poster
Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 16/10/2024 23:22

StSwithinsDay · 16/10/2024 23:21

Then maybe post nothing!

Ok thanks for your help👍

OP posts:
StSwithinsDay · 16/10/2024 23:21

Then maybe post nothing!

Original poster
Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 16/10/2024 23:20

StSwithinsDay · 16/10/2024 23:18

Maybe take this as a moment to decide that not everything has to go on Facebook.

I don't post much at all to be fair

OP posts:
StSwithinsDay · 16/10/2024 23:18

Maybe take this as a moment to decide that not everything has to go on Facebook.

Original poster
Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 16/10/2024 23:16

JustJoinedRightNow · 16/10/2024 23:16

Who did you upset by posting it? The neighbour? Or is the neighbour saying you upset your relative by posting it?

Sorry the relative is upset

OP posts:
JustJoinedRightNow · 16/10/2024 23:16

Who did you upset by posting it? The neighbour? Or is the neighbour saying you upset your relative by posting it?