To have put it on fb?

I am a person who doesn't like my pic put up without permission. Any pics of family gatherings are usually generic ones of cakes or decorations or i wil post a pic of myself and my husband only stories its gone in 24 hours. Have selected who can see my stories. I wouldn't have been happy either however would have been more polite about it. My sis in law posts everything and even worse its on her business page, she put a pic up of me wishing me happy birthday, For the whole world to see. Not even a stories but a post. Had to politely ask her to take it down.

If she's having a go at you over a picture after you spent a fortune on her then i wouldn't bother in future personally. If she's so upset by something so minor then I'd leave her to it. Let someone else put the time, effort and money into her. It'd be different if she phoned and just said would you mind taking it down - but to she didn't. She's really upset you too and she doesn't seem bothered about that so why should you give her so much head space? Fuck that.

Apologies I thought the neighbour stuck her beak in! Sorry she’s had a go at you, I agree with PP’s it sounds well intentioned and you clearly put effort into organising something nice for her. Don’t get yourself down over it, the pics down now and no harm done xx

If she's not in facebook you shouldn't have posted it.

Sounds like it was well intentioned OP. You did a nice thing planning her birthday and making a fuss.

I agree with PPs that it can feel a bit intrusive to have pictures shared without your knowledge when it's a platform you don't personally use. People can feel embarrassed or upset about personal information or images being shared. Her telling random people about her 'big birthday' is not the same as having something out there that confirms your age (and therefore DoB) to all and sundry.

I wouldn’t fret. I don’t see why the neighbour had to get het up and take a ‘pop’ at you, when the relative could simply speak for themselves and tell you their pic needs to be taken down. These things happen.

How would the fb post be ‘nice for her’, given that she’s not on fb?

Ok, well you've apologies and removed the post so hopefully you're all fine going forward.

It doesn't matter if they are 10, 20, or 500 a penny. An image should not be shared without permission. The clue would be in the fact that in this instance, the relative is not on FB.
Even if someone has an account, their privacy settings may be very different to yours, so just because one sees the world and his uncle slapped all over social media, doesn't mean the rest of the world wants to share personal moments

Some people are very particular about social media particularly if it's not something they engage with themselves.
I once posted a picture of myself as a DC with both sets of DGPs who are long dead, my aunt made a special point of telling my cousin how awful it was and how my DGM wouldn't have wanted herself plastered all over FB. Other side of the family loved the picture though <shrug>. I took it down as I didn't mean to cause any offence to anyone and have learnt my lesson and only post clips of funny dogs now.

Did a little fb post saying happy birthday with a lovely picture of her which in hindsight was stupid of me cos she's not on there

Personally, I feel its bad form to put something on SM about a person if they don't use it themselves.

I'm on fb so I don't mind someone posting about me or tagging me on there but I wouldn't appreciate it if someone posted about me on a platform I didn't use and so wouldn't know about unless someone else told me.

Who did you apologize to? Have you spoken to or confirmed with gran that she was upset?

You sound lovely! And you got a bit over excited and shared. You've taken it down and apologised. I wouldn't give it anymore head space.

You meant well, glad you are forgiven

I’m not on FB, but a ‘friend’ of mine put my 50th birthday all over it using photos of me I’d never even seen!! (taken without my knowledge on previous nights out) I was not happy at all - it felt like there was part of me out there that I didn’t know about nor had any control over. Maybe your relative or her family felt a bit like I did?🤷‍♀️ People may mean well but sometimes it just doesn’t work out right.

It's a lesson learned op.

Don't post on a public forum pics of other people.

I had to ask my mum to stop posting pics of my kids online in their uniforms or outside our home that showed details etc.

I don't post that so nobody else should.

At least she accepted your apology

Oh good, glad she's forgiven you.. it could have been something as simple that she wanted to tell the neighbour about her excursion and the neighbour did the 'I know I've seen it on facebook already' routine, which is really annoying to people who aren't on there.

She sounds like she wanted to tell people herself and you may have inadvertently stole her thunder on a large scale.

Don’t fret over it.

mumsnet will come on and give you a hard time but honestly I see birthday pics, baby pics, anniversaries all the time on Facebook. I’m just a bit shy tbh and don’t post much (also don’t do many exciting things) 🤣 but what I’m trying to say is that these posts are ten a penny.

Don't feel bad. You didn't mean any harm and were just sharing a nice moment