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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my husband is blaming me for his erectile dysfunction?

84 replies

PeachSwan · 16/10/2024 21:18

I don’t know what to think anymore, and I’m feeling completely torn. My husband has been having issues with maintaining an erection for the last few months. At first, I tried to be supportive and understanding, but lately, his attitude is really starting to upset me. Whenever it happens, he just laughs it off, but not in a self-deprecating way. Instead, he makes comments that feel like they’re aimed at me.

He’ll say things like, “Have you showered today?” or “Maybe you should see a doctor, you smell down there.” Or when we’re in bed, he’ll casually mention, “Your recent weight gain is really noticeable, those stomach rolls are visible now.” I’ve put on a little weight, but I didn’t think it was enough to be such a big deal.

Now I’m stuck wondering if he’s deflecting and trying to blame me for his problem, or if he’s genuinely lost attraction because of the weight gain and hygiene comments. I’ve never had issues with smell before, so this feels like a sudden, convenient excuse for him. AIBU to think he’s just passing the blame for his erectile dysfunction onto me, or is there something deeper going on that I’m not seeing?

OP posts:
DinosaurMunch · 16/10/2024 21:24

Has he got a porn addiction?

He sounds grim anyway

BabyCloud · 16/10/2024 21:24

He shouldn’t be saying those things to you. We had similar problems at one point but he always reassured me it wasn’t me. It’s probably wrong but if he was nasty to me I would be nasty back.

PeachSwan · 16/10/2024 21:23

WolfFoxHare · 16/10/2024 21:23

What a dickhead. Has he been to the GP yet?

No imo he sort of denies there is a problem

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 16/10/2024 21:23

Huge projection on to you. If he spoke to me like that, he wouldn’t be getting anywhere near my body.

WolfFoxHare · 16/10/2024 21:23

What a dickhead. Has he been to the GP yet?

LettyToretto · 16/10/2024 21:21

He is absolutely projecting.

What an immature sod.

PeachSwan · 16/10/2024 21:21

Theunamedcat · 16/10/2024 21:19

How old is he?

If he is having issues it's easier for him to blame you than talk to a Dr about what's happening to him

32

OP posts:
Motnight · 16/10/2024 21:21

He sounds vile. What does he add to your life?

Theunamedcat · 16/10/2024 21:19

How old is he?

If he is having issues it's easier for him to blame you than talk to a Dr about what's happening to him