Does anyone else feel this way about the education system in the uk?

Just send them to private school op!! My DS went to a small independent school and I was a single parent. He started in year 4 because state school wasn't suiting him and the relief I felt when I walked through the door and it was all so quiet and calm and the children were so polite! The staff treated the parents so much better too.

I'm very left wing but I wouldn't put my principles before my child's happiness. If I'd had the money, both my children would have attended independent schools from pre-school. I have three very nice mum friends who I still see....yes, they're middle class and one plays in a string quartet 🙂but they're lovely!

@Greengreenga

erm those statements say the same thing? Maybe you need to read it again. Going to private means being forced with one section of society.

No they don't. If you don't care about people's backgrounds then it doesn't matter one bit which school you send her to.

@Greengreenga

I've just seen your comment

I do feel strongly that private schools shouldn’t actually exist.

You've answered your own question here. Don't send her then. She can go to one of the piss poor schools that are total chaos (rated outstanding bizarrely) instead.

I reckon your husband has more sense on this matter though.

Depends on the area, depends on the schools available, depends on the needs of the child. There's not one "right" solution here.

The problem is that the publicity around adding VAT to private school fees has really amplified the narrative that all kids who go to private schools are wealthy, spoilt brats, and all families that can pay for private education are rolling in cash.

It's absolutely not the case.

There are certainly some schools which fall into the elite category. But there are many other private schools where there are pupils there on a bursary, and families who are sacrificing things, such as holidays, in order to pay the fees. They're not all wealthy kids, there are plenty of private school pupils who are ordinary kids from ordinary families.

Families choose private schools for lots of different reasons, and there are plenty of "normal" kids there, not just those who are extremely privileged.

My politics are left wing, and unfortunately, we would never be in a position to afford private schools for our two. In addition, both my DC have significant SEN and this doesn't tend to be well-provided for in the private sector.

But I still think that most people are being real dickheads about private schools. I was a school governor for over 5 years and the absolute mess that schools are in can't be overstated. There's no money, not enough teachers, and the teachers that are still there are stressed, overworked and under pressure. The education desperately needs a good shake-up because it's failing lots of kids, and causing teachers to leave the profession in their droves.

There's nothing wrong with private schools. Most are perfectly normal but offer smaller class sizes and a greater range of subjects/sports etc. Music lessons didn't exist in our school - there are plenty of opportunities to learn an instrument in private school.

Rather than gunning for private schools the aim should be to raise the standard of our state schools. But that's going to take significant restructuring and plenty of ££££.....can't see it happening any time soon.

@Greengreenga

well that’s not how I feel at all. I would like my child to be friends with whoever she clicks with not based on their background

Well then move yourself to somewhere like Easterhouse in Glasgow and send your child to a school there 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm sending my child to a private school but I'm not getting my knickers in a twist about it. I want him to experience smaller, calmer classrooms, more one to one time with teachers, better resources, a wide range of sports and experiences, and so on.

Not all private schools are Eton. They are just schools, as schools should ideally be.

Your "support" is to the state sector?? No one will know or care and it won't support the state system at all, just add one note child into the over burden under funded mess
I would always do what is right for my children

You are absolutely kidding yourself. The VAST majority of parents with kids in private school are paying half their income on the school fees.

OF COURSE we are stretching ourselves to pay for it.

Yes, that still puts us in the “tiny minority of people” who can afford it. Yes, we are very aware of our privilege. You are ALREADY in that group if you are able to make the choice, even if your choice is no.

I also agree with this - not all independents are the super posh ones.

If you can afford private - go private. But do your research as some private schools are pretty rubbish too.

In our area the schools are good both primary and secondary so it must vary by area quite drastically given your experience.

Eat humble pie. Learn from it.

Give your child a private education, it is reducing the burden on the state.

Make sure they do sports/clubs with a mix of children.

Not all private schools are Eton or Hogwarts xx

It quite literally is real.

It has changed enormously since we were in school. I'm also a dyed-in-the-wool social conscience person and sent DS to state school on principle while all my neighbours battled to get their kids into private school. I'm sorry to say that it hasn't ended well. Poor DS eventually had a nervous breakdown and is now at home alone with me home schooling, and it's a miserable arrangement. We can afford private, but he's not well enough to go, and no clear indication that he ever will be.

I think at the moment if you can find a private school that works, then you should go there.

The whole situation is just awful, honestly.

I don’t want my child mixing with a tiny percentage of society which is the most privileged

I would like my child to be friends with whoever she clicks with not based on their background

Well which one is it? Because they can’t both be true…

I wouldn't personally politicise my child's education.

Yabu your brief experience of state schools doesn't reflect anything I've seen or worked within for the last ten years and I've been in many schools over the years.

If that's what schools are like in your area then it sounds like a local issue.

You must be very unlucky. I live in an inner city area and all the local primaries (six within a mile) are very orderly -two are less than 10 years old and the other 4 are lovely buildings from the 1890s.

Yes then you would just have to send your son to a school you don't like.

Education is not a service which should be solely provided by the state for lots of good practical and moral and ethical reasons.

It depends on where you live. All the state schools in my town are excellent and I'm delighted with my kids schools.

Private ed would just be a waste of money.

Not all private schools are the same. Some are like Eton, some are just smaller normal schools, some more like grammar schools. Look around. And some of them will just be people like you who happen to be able to afford it. Like a house in a nice area or a nice holiday. It’s up to you to make sure you child still has a good attitude and mixes with a range of people.

Agree. If you want to send your kids private OP, just own it. But as an older educator and an older parent, I can tell you - most private schools are fine. And most state schools, especially primary schools, are also fine.

But whilst the catchment system exists your child will not go to school with whatever "salt of the earth" types you're imagining, assuming you live in an area commensurate with your income that can afford private fees. She'll go to school with people in a similar demographic to you. Literally no difference to private.

Haven’t you wondered why everyone goes on about the lack of funding in education, the teaching crisis, education being horrendous, hate the for the Tories… all that jazz? 🙈

I mean yeah, if you can afford private, that would be lovely!

Okay because from your post it sounds like you want some sort of validation that you’d be doing the right thing going private because apparently every single state school near you is total carnage, despite being rated outstanding.