Does anyone else feel this way about the education system in the uk?

Wow OP how awful for your family. I can't imagine what is going on in these schools. I work in a secondary in a pretty tough urban area and I liase with primaries quite often.
I do visits to them in the normal school day, lessons are all quiet and calm. There seem to be a lot of coats in the corridor which of course we don't have in secondary. The children in the primaries I visit don't spend much time in corridors no lesson changeovers which need a class room change.
Even the school in the most deprived area I visit has quiet classes and gets good results. You seem to have unfortunately put down roots in an area that bears no similarity to my experience in terms of primaries.
Of course in our area we really need more money, post pandemic and post austerity, and the mental health crisis is hitting our poorest children hard,and the LA really needs to build some special schools but that's another story!

And how many did they say?

All the local state schools by me have about 8 cover teachers who stand in for teachers who are on courses, and off sick. With 200 teachers, that's perfectly reasonable and normal.

That's really sad that all 5 schools were awful and it sounds quite extreme. I can't imagine that tbh unless you have convinced yourself this because deep down you actually want them to go private but battle with your 'political views'. This way you can justify your real intentions by saying 'all the state schools were crap, I had no choice.' Maybe I see it differently because I have had different experiences. Out of 6 states I have visited, 5 were really impressive, calm, orderly and well behaved kids with great results. Only one was a bit questionable.

"These classes were chaos"
What was happening? What was the chaos you saw??

YBVU to think it would be a good thing for the state to have a monopoly on education.

But practically, there is variation in private schools, they aren't all the same. Economics isn't the only type of variation either, and even some state schools can have a relatively homogeneous economic profile for its families.SoI am not sure that's as much a worry as you think.

Especially as they get older kids often segregate out by class anyway. Not deliberately but because those are the kids they most relate to.

That is interesting. How many is plenty?
Most parents I know don’t go into details about how they pay the bills. You can see who is driving an old banger and which areas people live in, but very few declare it’s the grandparents paying the bills in my experience.

I went to a private school and only a few of the children in the class were from extremely wealthy families. Of course, the parents have good jobs but my parents sacrificed new cars, holidays so that we could go to a private school - my mum was a teacher and my dad was a policeman. You sound very judgemental tbh.

@TeatimeForTheSoul most parents are spending everything they have on bills. I know plenty of private families and they're all having at least some fees paid by grandparents. Maybe the parents seem 'average' but the grandparents aren't!

Disagree, my son goes to a state school and I've heard it was good but I've been blown away. All very organised, loads of good opportunities, excellent communication and my son is thriving. Facilities are great, teachers seem very good. Had an email today to say he'd been identified as talented in maths so offering extra curricular lessons for stretch. Wouldn't swap at all

Which tiny percentage are you talking about? The large proportion of kids with SEND? The kids whose very normal parents are spending everything they have on their kids education? Or the well off similar to those who move to the very expensive catchment areas near excellent Grammer schools?
Yes in the average private school there are some very well off people, but they’re in the minority.
Whatever the papers and politicians say not all private schools are like Eton or that Bullingdon Club photo.

Absolutely. Contrast with my child's private school where there are boarders from all over the world and the pupils have the chance to travel to different countries too for outreach programmes and cultural exchanges.

What OP means when she says "real people" and "real life" is some outdated notion of the nitty gritty of working class kids (one of which her child is clearly not) at a local state comprehensive.

OP, this! There are actually SO many different backgrounds at private education...incredibly diverse especially demographically for many reasons (including bursaries etc.). If you can afford to, and the state options give you concern then I would go for it personally

How unlucky and unusual to be living near so many outstanding rated yet chaotic schools!
Im a parent Governor at my local ‘Good’ primary school. Fortunately it is not at all what you describe despite the challenges of a tight budget.
Previously there was a backlog of outstanding rated schools that weren’t inspected for a long time I think most have now been inspected. You have to run an extremely tight ship to get outstanding and you don’t get there with supply teachers in all the classes.

Some absolute bollocks being spouted about state schools on here (which, don't forget, 93% of the population attend). My local non-selective state academy sends 94% of its intake to university, of which 46% go to Russell Group unis. I'd say those kids' attitude to learning is pretty good.

I have worked in state schools where over 90% of the pupils are from the same ethnicity, religion and from the same small catchment area. My own state primary school wasn’t at all diverse. State schools often only represent one small sector of society so I wouldn’t send my child to one for diversity reasons.

Smacks of poverty tourism too. Hang about with the scruffs to gain your Prole Badge that you can brandish whenever anyone questions your lefty credentials.

If you can afford private, I wouldn’t hesitate.
I’ve taught in both state and private and the difference is huge, mainly because of the other children in the class and their attitude towards learning.

Your child has their whole life to meet "real people" (whatever that means), but only 7 years to get the best secondary education they can. If you have the money and can afford it, you'd be stupid not to consider private school on the basis of some nonsense notion that mixing with "real people" will be a better trade off.

It’s an outstanding state secondary in an area with two very bad state secondaries, another good one with similar house prices and the rest private schools. So people who can afford to either pay for private or move. Currently both private secondary also have more applicants than spaces and have very competitive 11+ exams. But maybe with VAT this will change and probably increase house prices around the catchment areas. For the outstanding state secondary the catchment area is 0.5m.

I want my child to know real people and not the top tiny percent of privilege

You can clearly afford the fees OP so are you not “real”?

A lot of reverse snobbery here. Maybe examine your own prejudices.

Now not even people in the catchment area are guaranteed a space because of sibling places. Completely mad.

Again with birth rates dropping & school rolls falling I’m surprised about the above.

I just don’t recognise the MNs narrative that private school parents live in cheaper, smaller houses & private is more affordable but as I said maybe it’s a location thing.

Of course some people rented tiny flats, got one child in and moved to a more affordable area. Now not even people in the catchment area are guaranteed a space because of sibling places. Completely mad.

If you can afford it he's already in a tiny privileged minority.

Dont kid yourself that he's ever going to have the childhood estate kids have or be pals with them.

One of the excellent state secondaries in my area all 3 bedroom houses in the catchment area are £1M minimum. So you are a lot more likely to have rich parents in that school than in the private school.

Thats true for me except many of the people in the expensive houses also chose private.