To have a rule not to lend money?

So cheeky of her to think that your money should be used to fund her new bathroom and kitchen! It’s actually quite greedy as well because she’s not even family - she’s just jumping on an opportunity. I would never lend that sort of money informally - what if something occurred which meant you didn’t get it back? She needs to save or get a loan, not mentally start spending your money. CF. Don’t tell her the amount you’re getting and don’t be specific about where it’s going. Tell her: she’s mentioned funding these home improvements a few times and you’re not sure if she’s waiting for you to offer to lend her £xxxxxx but it’s not ‘spare’ money and it’s not an option.

Shut it down tell her no.

I wouldn't even discuss finances with my own siblings. My dh had an inheritance and l never mentioned it to my sisters even though we are close. Wouldn't dream of mentioning it to friends. I know this isn't an inheritance but say absolutely nothing. Just pretend you don't hear her when she says anything. She is utterly out of line.
I loaned a friend 500..was happy to do so. She made a few excuses about paying back. I realised it was going to come between us so l said never mind l don't need it back..l didn't. But l learnt a lesson: never again as it was so awkward and it's difficult for people to pay back as they can't afford to so it's just messy.

Don't tell people you have substantial funds and do not tell anyone you have been able to quit work. Being able to stop working in your 40's means it's a huge amount of money and no good will come of others knowing

Has the OP said it was inheritance?

OP you can't actually afford to lend her the money.
If I understand correctly this money will be instead of a pension. You need it properly invested so you can ensure you're not living in hardship in old age.

I bet she wouldn't withdraw from her pension to renovate your house.

I used to get a bonus of between 10-15k I soon learnt to keep quiet about it, some people are so entitled

I do lend money to a few friends and they have lent me money when money is really tight but this is to help with day to day living

Don't lend-unless you are happy to see the loan as a gift.

Loaning (giving) money can really mess up a friendship anyway.

Tell her the money is now in your pension/investments and not available.

You say you've been through a fight to get this money, and you also say you can no longer work. So I'm deducing this is not an inheritance and solicitors have been involved in getting you this money.

So you say that it's a condition of settlement that the solicitors stay involved and ensure you make the money last the rest of your life - it's not just up to you. This usually shuts em up. Talking from experience.

You don't need to have a "rule" but YANBU to simply say no. Either ignore the comments until she outright asks or simply tell them you don't have spare money to lend.

Stop discussing finances with people.
I wouldn’t even tell friends that I was to inherit money

I wouldn't entertain it and I would distance myself from people who made an issue of it.
Keep the amout to yourself and reduce it if you can.
It's no one's business.

This is like a smaller scale version of a poster a few months back who inherited and a friend wanted her to give/loan a massive amount for his kids private school and missed mortgage payments, etc. Wonder if he even spoke to her again after she turned him down!

Guarantee she would then decide she doesn't need to repay it because you don't need it because you're loaded now.

I'd say any friend who comes chasing after money is not your friend. Unfortunately you can't control her reaction, I always think a polite but firm "no" is best with a brief explanation that you'd rather not lend anyone money.

Don't be so open about your finances and never lend money you couldn't afford to lose 💐

When I was left some money by my late mum I lent 3 people money. Around £200-300 each. None of them paid it all back. My fault partly for not keeping track of ut. That was 30 years ago and I'd never lend anyone money again unless it was very close family & I could afford to lose a small amount. YANBU

Family member came into a lot of money and loved helping out his friends and family. Over the next couple of years they all fell out with him because, despite his huge generosity, it was never enough and these selfish fucks were resenting his lifestyle even though he’d paid off their mortgages and bought them cars and holidays and stuff.

Don’t share any financial information. If you want to help anyone you can then do it anonymously!

SGB your advice is iconic ✔️

She doesn't 'need' a new kitchen or bathroom.
Good advice from the poster saying you've seen a financial advisor and the money is 'locked down' with just a small monthly income (might be an idea to do anyway).
With regard the wider point, never lend money. Well my view is it depends who to and what for. If she needed a new washing machine or broken boiler and couldn't get money somewhere else, I don't think I'd sit a piles of money while she struggled.

I learned the hard way. Lost £10k and my best friend. Don't do it.

You shouldn't have told them to begin with.

I have also come into some money recently. I have £10k mad money and the rest is to augment my pension. I have already decided that I am taking a friend away for a few days and another friend is going to move in the next year... she is the sort who has a five year plan and delivers early, she has not asked but I will lend her some money for six months to help her out, but I have mentally written it off, although she would take on another job if she thought she could not pay me back, she is that sort.

At the end of the day, you need to do whatever makes you comfortable... not sure about you but I keep looking at it in my account and thinking it is not real!

She’s given it some proper thought then 😳

I wouldn't want anything to do with her after that. How dare she ask you for that much money for something so frivolous?

Next time she mentions it treat it as a joke - 'ha ha yeah, I'd love a new kitchen and bathroom too but the money is going to my pension so I'll have to save up!'