To have a rule not to lend money?

You mention about her resenting you if you don’t consider loaning the money. Stop overthinking this. Don’t let how you think she’ll perceive you be a factor in your decision making. You don’t even know whether she will resent you, and I know for a fact, that you’ll massively resent her when she doesn’t pay you back!

Also, Her new kitchen/bathroom are not your problems to solve. If money ‘is tight’, then they’re shouldn’t be her first priorities. If she’s desperate, she can get a bank loan. If a bank won’t loan her the money, then how is she intending to pay you back! (Also, I’m sure it’s going to cost more than £10000!).

Definitely don't lend money to this person. Ignore any and all hints. If necessary close this down clearly by saying this won't be possible. If it helps you navigate this tell her that any part of the money you are not using is locked down in accounts for the next 5/10 years. If this causes the end of your friendship you haven't looked at a friend, just someone who thinks your money somehow entitles her. So you won't have lost a friend, just someone who is a user and saw you as an easy target. You will get a certain satisfaction from proving her wrong even while you feel sad if you discover she is not really your friend. 💐

Absolutely not! Be debt free in four months though!

Wth! How are people so entitled?! As if they themselves would be happy to give thousands to others.

OMG that’s absolutely horrific! Have you spoken to her since?

Just tell her that it's all going into your pension otherwise you'll be living on beans in your old age.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend." wise words, as true now as it was in Shakespeare’s time.

The money I have lent, rather small amounts, I've never got back from friends in the past, I wouldn't dream of lending a large amount, I can't believe people have the cheek to ask, she needs to do the same as everyone else, save or get on credit.

I agree with this. And once you start lending her money for this she will be needing’ loads of other things.

I wouldn't lend money to anyone ever again from previous experiences with friends-1 didn't repay for years and it became very awkward. If they keep hinting offer to help them research a bank loan online!

Do not lend money they then take you for granted currently have a bf who keeps borrowing money and last night said to me I should lend him money as he's my bf erm.no. I've done lending money it doesn't help anything. I've gave my neighbour money when she's gambled it all and all it does is enable

Just say all her talk of kitchens and bathrooms has reminded you that yours could really do with a refresh, so you have earmarked your money for that.
Say you are happy to put her in touch with debt charities or budgeting help if she's finding it hard to budget effectively.

My advice is, never tell anyone about your savings and inheritance. It's not their business. And people get so weird and entitled about money!

Learn one simple phrase "Neither a borrower nor a lender be" and say that, and only that, to anyone who asks. They are the ones making it awkward so why go into further detail? You don't have to.

No, No, No

Do not give it to her. You’ll never see it again. If she can’t afford it, she can’t afford it. (Point her in the direction of a low interest bank loan. )

Can I have a Porsche please? I promise to pay it back (with fingers crossed behind my back).

Well if you've told people you're coming into some money, for whatever reason, some people will try to borrow some off you.
I'd just casually say that it's all gone towards paying off the mortgage and leave at that, given you've already shared that detail but they don't know the amount. If she then asks outright to lend some, just say "no, it's all gone to the mortgage and I don't have anything spare". Assuming you want to explain. If you don't then just say no!

I'd just ignore her comments and change the subject if she keeps asking just say it's gone all on your mortgage or onto your pension funds and now your skint.

I lent my single mum friend money for an expensive baby item. Because I did that, I didn't have a leg to stand on legally, when she then took thousands from the same card without my consent.

Absolutely DO NOT lend her the money. I'm currently fighting to get money back from a so called friend, now ex friend due to being used for money. It never ends well and I even drew up a signed loan agreement.

Thats really cheeky, I can’t imagine scrubbing for money for a bathroom. Ignore her.

Also she’s not a friend.

I have had a few people wanting to borrow money and I always say "Ahhh no, it's all tied up in my own projects, good luck with yours" and leave it. If they mention it again they get a withering look.

And yes, meant to add, don’t give her anything at all. It won’t be enough for her and she won’t be grateful for anything short of a 50 grand gift. Even then she’d probably say there’d been an overspend.

You know this now, but never tell a friend about money like this.

We inherited £15k. The following week, a family member needed to “borrow £15k”. Luckily, we had already sent the whole lot to our mortgage provider to pay down the mortgage.

I would tell this friend that you have sunk the whole lot into mortgage. Does she actually know you’d still have some left over? If so, tell her you have put it into pension (not actually sure how that works, so fact check it first), or some other type of non access fund.

she isn’t your friend anyway. Hinting that you should pay for her kitchen/bathroom is appalling. Regardless of whether it’s going to be paid back. My kitchen is quite scruffy - over 30 years old. It’s functional, so it’s fine.

Yep, I agree with the majority. Don't give her a cent. Can just say it's gone straight into your mortgage and pension. She's a CF.

YANBU, you are her friend, not a bank.
Personally, if it was spare, I would loan money if a friend was in dire straits.... but fancying a new bathroom and kitchen is not. She is a CF.

As it was said “in jest”, I would have laughed uproariously at the very idea of giving away 12k for someone else’s house improvements, as if the very idea was ridiculous, which it is.