Sorry if this is long but DD is 18 has had a very difficult year, dropped out of A'levels, self harmed, ended up in medical facility for couple of months and still sees psychiatrist and is on medication.
Started seeing boyfriend 3 months ago, he stayed over occasionally but then it became most of the week. DD has told me many instances of his behaviour that I find worrying (Controlling, manipulative), this culminated in him giving her an ultimatum of it's him or her best friend. They split up and, as is want to happen, talked it out and got back together within days. DD says he promised he would change.
For my part I said fine but I didn't want him staying over for the next month and I would reassess after that.
Last night she came into my room, I was asleep, she said something and I half woke up and said 'sure whatever', took me a few minutes to gather myself and go and see what I had agreed to. Apparently boyfriend was coming over and staying. We argued and I made my thoughts perfectly clear, I went back to bed. Turns out this morning that boyfriend plus 2 of his friends had come round and stayed the night.
Had huge back and forth with DD this morning on why this is wrong but I can't make her see it from my perspective. She says he is the only thing keeping her together at moment and she doesn't want to go out and do things as she doesn't want to leave her room and that I shouldn't be interfering in her relationship.
AIBU not letting him stay?