To be fuming that other mum is asking my son why he has extra time?

My daughter got asked by a peer about why she uses a laptop in class sometimes. She told me she didn't feel like sharing about her dyslexia (she's not ashamed, she just doesn't feel it should define her) so she just said "because I do".

I thought that was pretty impressive for a 10 year old. I did explain to her that she shouldn't be too cross with the child as they were young too and still learning what kind of questions are appropriate. But its completely acceptable to just not answer these questions if you don't want to.

I’d say, “That’s confidential.” I wouldn’t say a word more, not even vague ‘medical reasons’. Give her nothing. Nosey boot. Your son can say ‘You don’t teach me. You shouldn’t ask.’

No response, block and delete. Perfect for your mental health. Hers. Not your problem.. she is a melter and not worth caring

Google it it will become clear

I think you have every right to be annoyed and given that she rang you, and you missed her call I would text and say something along the lines ‘sorry to miss your call, was it something important?’
to see if she’s got the nerve to ask you directly, and if she has then to use the very good suggestion posted on the first page that it’s none of her business and please stop asking.
It’s interesting seeing the posts about extra time etc my child is autistic and low average on processing which means he usually has to read things several times to make sure he understands what’s being asked. In exams etc he is entitled to extra time. In his SATs for English he scored slightly below average, he didn’t use all his extra time, as he thought he had answered the questions correctly… he should have used the extra time to re-read it again to triple check but chose not to… His extra time doesn’t give him an unfair advantage over neurotypical children, but the chance (if he chooses to use it) to fulfil his potential.

Tell the school that they are not to comment to anyone about your child. Tell
the woman that if she approaches your child again that you will inform the police

Teach him to say 'My mum says you should mind your own business.' Short, snappy and easy to remember.

If we assume that privately educated children are no more likely to have learning difficulties than state educated pupils

I wonder how true that assumption is? Not disagreeing with you at all, just wondering.

I know reasonably locally to me are two private schools that are known for being very good with dyslexia, dyspraxia, mild learning delays etc. Then you have students with mild learning difficulties or ASD who can cope in private schools with smaller classes but would struggle in mainstream.

I would think the main difference though is that the private schools are more likely to apply for it where they think it would help. If they think a student with dyslexia or slow processing speed getting a 7 is capable of getting a 8/9 with extra time, they'll apply (helps the students, and their place in the league tables!). In a class of 35 where you have some who struggle to get a 4, I can see that it might not seem as much of a priority.

Some of the posts on this thread are as outrageous as the woman asking a child why he gets extra time.

My dd got top grades and had extra time and she absolutely needed it. She had extra time because she is autistic and has ADHD. Both NHS diagnosis not private, if it really matters. Sadly the top grades don't really help balance out the issues caused by autism and ADHD and life is still a struggle for her in adulthood. If you really think that a child with a disability getting extra time in exams is unfair to your non-disabled child then you need to give your head a wobble.

39% of privately educated students get extra time. 24% of state school.
The number of pupils granted extra time has increased by 42% in 4 years. Extra time is usually 25%.
If we assume that privately educated children are no more likely to have learning difficulties than state educated pupils, the posters here who claim the system is fair, and every child who get extra time "needs" it, and those such as XelaM's don't, are derranged.
Either pupils at private schools are getting an unfair advantage because they don't need the extra time they are granted, or there are pupils at state schools who don't get the extra time they need.
So @XelaM if your child is at a state school, give it a go. 15% of state school pupils are not getting something they "need" and should "qualify for".
If 39% of exam entrants need extra time, employers really need to know who they are so they can get the adjustments they need to perform to the best of their ability at work.

Just tell her to her face you’ve paid extra for it!! What woman actually confronts a child!!!

I thought the same…surely an accidental click 🤔

God people like this wind me up, if he’s gotten extra time he’s obviously been deemed to need it, so she should just fuck off, I can’t inagine being so nosey as to ask a poor child why they get extra time 🙃

Just say because he’s entitled to it!

Clearly you’ve never struggled with anxiety or the struggles of neurodivergence.

I was once so stressed out in an exam I vomited in the middle of the hall. I was 11. It’s a lot of pressure on kids.

sat the exam a week or so later in a classroom with an examiner & it took so much pressure off that I did pretty well in the end.

As far as I’m concerned there is only 1 option. It’s none of her f**king business. If she confronts your child again just tell him to start shouting stranger danger at top of his lungs. She’ll never approach him again.

or tackle it head on & ask her why she was harassing your child when again the situation is none of her business

It shouldn't be but by going private it's quite easy to trick the system. Not making it right though. I know of people who did this. My DS is so far off the mark that no extra time would help him unfortunately😞

Yet another example of ignorance.

Just because you think certain kids have "no real difficulties with school" and seem to have excellent academic results doesn't mean they have no difficulties.

I know two young people who get extra time - one has acute anxiety for which she takes medication daily, and one has various ailments related to long covid. You'd never guess it to look at their class standings, or by looking at them.

It's more than a little disgusting to learn that there are grown adults out there taking note of things like this and passing judgement on their children's peers. You have no idea what goes on in the lives of these children. Be happy that your own children have no afflictions that could hold them back significantly, and keep your nose out of others' business.

Accommodations are not handed out like sweets in any school setting.

I'd rather have children that could read at normal speeds, could write legibly, didn't have pain from gripping a pen and could demonstrate their intelligence and knowledge in the standard time offered.

I am glad they have diagnoses that recognise their difficulties and strengths and facilitate some reasonable adjustments to mitigate the difficulties that restrict their ability to demonstrate their knowledge. It's the second best thing compared to the non-option of having children with a standard range of skills.

DS1 was not offered additional time in SATs because he was doing "well enough". He then did not meet the school's targets, then they blamed anxiety. The irony was that autism is one of his 3 individual reasons why he does require reasonable adjustments (alongside dyslexia and dyspraxia)
DS2 was offered the additional time which enabled him to answer all the questions and reach the predicted targets. I did emphisis that the school's previous stance had cost them meeting their targets...

Strangely, people tend to recognise that when DS2 uses his inhalers, it's not giving him an unfair advantage at sport, it's an adjustment to help him breathe like everyone else and not leave him at a hazardous disadvantage to everyone else. The presence of undiagnosed, unmitigated educational needs crushes self-esteem and prevents young people meeting their potential.

Well if your daughter doesn’t need it then she won’t get it and rightly so. If you feel your DD genuinely has any SEN and neither you or school have ever done anything about it, then go for it and fight for what she deserves. If not then maybe just be happy that she doesn’t face the troubles that means she needs that extra time?

Message her and tell her not to ask your son about his medical information. Then contact the school, explain what happened and tell then you have told her to stop.

Tell your son to ignore her and carry on walking.

What a horrible person she is

25 percent extra time in an A level is incredibly generous!
Wow.
No wonder parents want the diagnoses to allow for margins like that.
This could make a massive difference to grades

One could really take time and plan the exam time with a buffer like that.

Usually students are writing til the last minute.( Ones without extra time).

Pointy-elbowed parents everywhere. Went to a recent sixth form open evening and it was like a bunfight at times.