Bad ending to holiday with friend, AIBU here?

Snorers rarely understand the damage they cause to other people’s sleep. I can sympathise, from experience! You should have said something though, and also refused to go on the walk if you were too tired. Perhaps tried to get another room if it was possible.

Drop him like a hot potato when you get home. If he asks why, tell him he was completely unreasonable on holiday and you have seen a side to him that you wish you had not and then block. He's a prick.

Do you think you may be subconsciously uncomfortable sharing a room with him which is also stopping you from totally relaxing and going to sleep? I would also tell him to go see a doctor about his snoring and see how he takes that

Had this in the past, record him on your phone then play it back and explain how tired you are. Hopefully you'll get an apology and understanding.

So you're just going to leave it because he doesn't want to talk about it?

Sounds like he is a real singleton. Does he not have a relationship with partner etc? Perhaps you know why now. Sometimes friends like this are best kept for fish and chip lunches in the pub and coffee and cake in the afternoon. They are there, but not there, so they don't upset your life. Do you like him as a person? Could you say to him that he frightened you when he spoke to you so harshly? Tell him that you will not be spoken to like that again if he wants friendship to continue. Perhaps it is more of an acquaintanceship than friendship.

What an ass! People like these only attract people like you. Find your confidence and ditch him.

Skip the excursion and stay in bed.

Tell him with no preamble 'the way you spoke to me was unacceptable.' Ask him what his solution is for tonight.

Is he still alive?? I came close to murdering someone I shared a room with once who snored non-stop, even worse than my ex who snored like a chainsaw. If you wake them for a second (which is all it takes them to fall back to sleep after being woken and then starting snoring again) they are so indignant and outraged. I had one or two hours of splintered sleep in total over a long weekend. Hell on earth. I hope you're okay.

I've also had a mini break completely ruined by a snoring friend (who did later go on to be diagnosed with sleep apnoea) so I can relate to how awful this must have been. He might not be able to help the snoring but he sounds like a very selfish person from what you've described. Don't go on holiday with him again.

Honestly, with a husband that snored that bad and me being a light sleeper, I'd try to get a room for the last night, it's not worth the torture.

So sorry, OP. My DH has a sleep apnea and his snoring is horrendously loud to the point where we've slept separately for the past number of years as it's that bad. Your "friend's" snoring sounds like this so I'm not surprised you couldn't get a wink of sleep.

Tell him straight you thought he treated you horribly and unfairly waking you up at 5.30am and in the night. He needs to know. Sending you hugs and a good night's sleep tonight. At least you're in your own bed soon.❤️

OP, without downplaying for one moment his appalling, aggressive behaviour, I think you need to take some responsibility for this — you went on a holiday you don’t appear to have wanted to go on, you let someone else choose the destination, the twin accommodation, and (presumably?) excursions, and treat you badly as regards the snoring, and while I absolutely understand why after a DV relationship, you find male anger so triggering, I think you need to work on your self-esteem and boundaries. Even if he hadn’t been a snorer, sharing a room should have been discussed.

This man is a horrible selfish idiot. No reasonable human just switches the light on to wake someone else up, books them to share the same room without warning them about snoring and being open to eg white noise, nor is rude to someone who is clearly exhausted. I doubt if you think about his behaviour more widely you will think he's a great friend - selfish people are usually selfish in other ways and it is likely you haven't noticed or have just let it go. If you genuinely find him a good friend and this is a one off I'd just not go away with him again. If you realise he actually is selfish more widely I'd ditch him. No need to tell him if you feel uncomfortable about it but really it would be good for him to realise the impact of his behaviour.

Wake him and demand he stop snoring as you can't fucking sleep

He may NOT want to discuss but you do. Your feelings are validated and don't need aproval from anyone to have.

Express your feelings in a calm and firm way. e.g. "I felt scared when you shouted at me and uncomfortable." "I cannot sleep due loud snoring and have to have white noise." If I known about snoring and sharing a room I would have requested seperate rooms."

You've done nothing, express your feelings.

OP you sound lovely but vulnerable and it’s great and encouraging that you were able to be assertive with him. He sounds obnoxious. Please rethink being friends with this man and if you do stay friends, don’t go away with him again as it is all on his terms which does not say anything good about him. I had a similar experience with a male friend and it was the end of our friendship. I hope you have a safe journey home.

He's a selfish fucking twat. He KNOWS his snoring is keeping you awake, and instead of accepting that you need white noise to fall asleep through HIS noise, he wakes you up to preserve his own fucking sleep!

OP, I am a snorer and know it keeps people awake, so for that reason would never book a twin room and expect someone to put up with it, and on the occasions friends have opted to share a room with me (knowing that I snore), I wait until they're asleep before I go to sleep and would never ever dream of waking them up once they're asleep.

Your "friend" is a complete fucking knobhead.

My husband snores like a freight train and I always make sure we have an 'escape room' when we go on holiday (e.g. book a family room with a little side room or airbnb with a sofa bed / 2 rooms). There is not much you can do now about the room arrangement unless he / you can come up with some cash to book a second room. To save your sanity / friendship, you can perhaps stay in the hotel during the day to catch up on some much needed sleep while he goes out?
People who snore often don't know the impact they have on others, if he's been a long term good friend, try let it go and be mindful of holiday arrangement if you are to go with him again.

I voted that you're being unreasonable, because you're being so wet and passive.

Don't allow anyone to walk all over you like this ever again.

Cut this selfish non friend out of your life, he's a prick.

This speaks volumes. If this is his response, then I agree with pp: he isn’t your friend, he’s a selfish arse.

I’m sorry this was your holiday and I hope you have some nice things to look forward to when you get home

If you didn't mention the snoring to him then he had no idea it was affecting you unfortunately. So all he heard was noise that you had put on. You need to be clearer about your needs and things impacting you

Awful awful man.

Why is his sleep more important than yours?

And he booked a twin room - you didn't agree this? You said you couldn't afford a single?

I would not make a scene with him now but I would just not be responsive to any messages or phone calls beyond the perfunctory.

He's not a friend.

Basically he's a selfish arsehole.

He's not much of a friend is he?

He's overridden your wants and needs at every single point. He's pushy about you going on holiday in the first place and he's booked a twin room without even checking if you were ok with it, then he couldn't give less of a fuck about your feelings. You have to creep around him while he does what he wants.

Him waking you up to tell you off is pretty unsettling behaviour - you're not overreacting to be upset by that. Waking up to find a man standing over you, with your history, must have been scary. You're in a vulnerable position - i would be rethinking the friendship and i would certainly never share a room with him again.