Bad ending to holiday with friend, AIBU here?

I’m so sorry OP. It sounds awful.

This would be utterly friendship ending for me. I wouldn’t even discuss it with him but just never speak to him again.

Edit/ addition-

The booking one room for the two of you would be a “no go” from me, as a woman sharing with a man, but adding in the fact he knows he snores it’s ridiculous. The selfish - and later aggressive- way he’s carried on during the holiday would be the icing on the cake.

extremely bizarre of him to book a shared room without asking first.
I'd expect that even a female friend to do that - and the answer would be no.

Did you record the snoring? IME snorers don't realise just how loud it is.
DH always denied snoring and if he conceded he might snore he minimised the impact. 100 decibels of warthog sounds convinced him otherwise. He now turns over if I ask him to or goes in the spare room.

Don't bring it up again on holiday, just get through the last of it and when you are home and well rested you can speak to him about it. He sounds very inconsiderate and selfish to me.

I'm kind of stunned that you've gone on holiday with a bloke who booked a twin room for you both without checking you'd be OK with that. I wouldn't expect to share even with a female friend, so I'm really surprised that you didn't run a mile when he said he'd you'd have to share with him. It's a big red flag.

I think maybe, especially given your history of DV and not being comfortable 'having it out' with men, you might want to think about getting some counselling/therapy to look at boundaries and how you can assert yourself a bit more confidently. Otherwise you will potentially be quite vulnerable.

Can you write him an email or letter

FFS - bin the friendship, the man is a twat

What a prick? Is he overweight as I think that makes people snores more

I'm sorry OP, this sounds like a very very horrible experience.
Did he check with you prior to booking the twin room? I think it's very inconsiderate to expect a non-partner to share a room when he has a snoring problem.

Is tonight your last night? I would make some noise deliberately to wake him up every hour... if he shouts at you, tell him you are bored and can't sleep (because of the noise he is making) so you are playing the conductor role of his snoring orchestra... think percussion!

Its creepy as fxxk.
I have never heard of such a thing and I travelled with male friends when single.
Really creepy.

He should never have assumed you'd be ok with sharing a room with him. I would never, ever assume that of anyone, even my closest female friend - there would always be a discussion first.

What kind of man assumes without any discussion that a woman is happy to share a bedroom? Surely the default assumption is separate rooms?

Agree.! OP days they had an excursions booked but still .
It’s a certain attitude of well I am up and so will you be .
Reminds me of an ignorant abusive ex.

Hopefully when you are fully dressed and up you can dig deep and stick up for yourself .
Tell hiM you are a grown women and don’t appreciate being spoken to the way he spoke to you . That you have had zero sleep for days and he should have more respect for you .

Also when you get home block and delete .
He sounds controlling and the dynamic between you both is not healthy .

Make that the very last time you go away with him even if it's in separate rooms

He is not a considerate travelling partner

God I’d be absolutely furious! I cannot cope with being sleep deprived at all these days. I’d have absolutely lost it with him if he’d woken me up to complain about my white noise.

I completely disagree with the idea that this is just 2 people who are mismatched to holiday together.

This is about a selfish person who has arranged the holiday to suit themselves and doesn't give a shit about the person he's with. He presumably booked a twin room, without even properly checking with the op, because it was cheaper. He knew he snored and would likely keep her up. When he was told he was keeping her up he made no effort to rectify the problem. Of course he can't help snoring but he can certainly mitigate the impact it has on someone who is meant to be a friend.

Op you need to embrace NOT being easy going..it's ok to ask for your needs to be considered. You may well find you lose him as a friend when you find your voice and start asking for some consideration but that just means he was never really your friend in the first place.

If he was more of a gentleman, he would not have suggested sharing a room in the first place.

This!
What on earth is a male 'friend' doing booking both of you into the same room.

No chance, no way. Separate rooms only, please.

I’m also thinking he’s no friend if he couldn’t consider booking separate rooms. Snoring or not I wouldn’t be comfortable booking a room for me and a guy I was just friends with, even if I fancied him.

@ExhaustedAbroad1 for future reference, if your "friend" has a neck measuring 18 inches or over, then he almost certainly has Sleep Apnea. If he tells his GP that he is worried he might have S.A. then he will hopefully be reference to the nearest hospital with a sleep unit. Once he is diagnosed, which is really simple and painless, he will be given a CPAP machine - it is a mask with a tube that blows air into his lungs all night, and every night - and as if by magic he will no longer snore! Both my husband and I use sleep masks, they look funny, but we really love them!

I think the DV has eroded your boundaries, OP. The only man I would be comfortable sharing a room with is my son.

Decent men consider the comfort of their friends. Especially given that he knows he snores, he should have booked two rooms, or asked if you prefer to share a twin to save money. Two rooms should have been the default position.

Again, with the white noise, he knows he snores, so why was he so put out at you taking action against it? He could either have sucked it up because of his snoring, or he could have turned it down without waking you.

I believe he knows you are a pushover and takes full advantage. I'm sure when you think about your history, you'll find many other examples of him riding roughshod over your feelings and preferences.

Maybe you need better friends? DV is often the catalyst to realising how unboundaried we have been, and thus how many users are in our lives.

You sound desperately unsuited to spending time together - he’s a confident traveller and an enthusiastic hiker. You need someone more your speed to holiday with.

What interests do you share? Why do you think he wanted to go away with you?

I couldn’t share a room with someone who wasn’t my partner or family. You should have insisted on separate rooms right from the start. I know that is a really unhelpful comment, apologies.

Given your history (which I assume he has some knowledge of?) his behaviour was shitty. But there aren't too many people who are woken by noise who would be particularly impressed either.
Have the conversation, at the right time/location and see if you can put across why you were playing it and agree to having separate rooms next time you travel if that is something you'd want to do.
As an insomniac I can totally sympathise with feeling utterly exhausted from lack of sleep.
Enjoy your own bed when you get home 🌸