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To feel DD was just not ready for school

82 replies

Outandabout43 · 15/10/2024 19:00

DD was 4 end of August and started reception in September. I know it's only been a few weeks but she is like a different child.

She cries in the morning that she doesn't want to go, she wants to stay home with mummy. She says no one wants to play with her and told me another girl she sits next to pushes her.

When she gets home her behaviour is nothing I've seen before. She will cry, sit and scream kick things, hit people and bit DH yesterday. She shouts at us and tells DH she hates him. She only seems to respond to me, but even I'm getting to the end of my patience.

I let her sleep in on the weekend but her behaviour still isn't great then. I've never known her like it.

She is sleeping okay, but has started wanting to come to my bed again, she is waking in the night crying and shouting out she doesn't want to go, or she doesn't want to eat her lunch. I've tried talking to her the odd time she is being reasonable but she just says she doesn't like school and wants to stay with mummy, I've tried to narrow it down to see if it's anything specific but she hasn't said.

I've spoken to her teacher and she stated she has been a little tearful but overall fine, however the teacher did seemed rushed so not much chance for a proper chat. We do have parents evening first week of November.

It's crushing me seeing her so distressed. Is this normal for when they start school or was she just not ready and I should of deferred her a year?

OP posts:
RosieFlamingo · 15/10/2024 19:04

As she's only just 4, could you ask about a part Time timetable. Send her into school in the morning so she can do phonics etc, but take her home after lunch? This would not need to be signed off by LA as she is not yet 5.

Overthebow · 15/10/2024 19:04

I have a summer born too whose just started reception and to be honest haven’t had the same issues. I would be setting up a meeting with her teacher so that there’s time to talk about it properly. Did she go to nursery? What was she like there?

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 15/10/2024 19:03

In her case, I would definitely take her out 4 is too young imo.

Saying that, some of what you describe has been not alnfor our five yr old who started school on August. He was just absolutely knackered so was super emotional for 3+ every day after school. A real grump and very heightened emotionally. We just kept weekends to a minimum, don't ask much of him after school whilst he adjusts etc.

Id be raging if a kid was being mean to mine every day though. Would you like to go to work everyday and be bullied? That needs sorted out asap

Notthebeard · 15/10/2024 19:03

That sounds awful, your poor daughter. Try to defer if you can, just turned 4 is so little and it doesn’t sound like she is enjoying it at all!!

BarbaraHoward · 15/10/2024 19:03

Is this her first time away from you, or has she been at nursery/preschool?

It's very normal for them to be utterly shattered this first term, and if she's not sleeping it'll be even worse. I'd persevere tbh.

ETA, I would've chosen to defer originally with an August born (she'd be going next year here anyway) but I'm not sure if that's possible now. I'd be wary that if you pulled her out now she'll have a negative association with school and it won't be any better next year.

FranceIsWhereItsAt · 15/10/2024 19:03

I would have deferred too! I was an August baby, and still remember being utterly miserable for the first few months I was in school, so if it's allowed, I'd withdraw her and start again next year.

Jukeboxjive · 15/10/2024 19:01

Defer! Definitely poor thing!