I may get flamed for this but honestly, I would just like to get through one family dinner at the table with the in-law's without hearing my DH's ex wife name!
They have a shared DSD (11) so of course DH's ex is part of our lives in some way or another, but is it too much to ask to spend 30 minutes at a table after I've cooked a roast for everyone for 3 hours without hearing her name? I wouldn't think anything of it coming from DSD, but she wasn't even with us on this particularly occasion. MIL will always seem to find a way to bring her up, whether it's negative or positive, I hear her name. For example, weekend just gone it was 'I heard XXXX has a new car' and 'I chatted to DSD's friend school mum at pick-up and she doesn't like XXXX'.
Like who even cares about any of this stuff? DH & I have been together 5 years now too and are married so we aren't in a new relationship with each other. DH handles it well, he will quickly change the subject or make a remark that none of us care about the answer, plus I've heard him countless times in person or over the phone asking her to just stop it...but she pays no notice (to anyone tbh) and because she doesn't think of it as a big deal, then it's fine.
I'm pretty thick skinned usually, but I'm honestly just fed up with it now. I have no personal issues with DH's ex either. I mean I've never met her and even though she was a little high conflict at the start of our relationship, things have been pretty calm the last 3/4 years.
AIBU to want a family dinner when DSD isn't there to just not hear her name?