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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want partner cooking for other women?

135 replies

Kendra43 · 15/10/2024 14:46

We are long distance but manage to see each other every two weeks usually and we have trips booked so we always have something to look forward to.

In a recent dinner out together he mentioned two women he has befriended at work (the women live together and are both friends) asked when he's coming over to cook for them. He's known at work as 'the chef' as he always brings the best baked goods

I know he brought this up because he wants to and it's his way of testing the waters with me.

Unfortunately I'm quite a jealous person and I don't feel comfortable with the thought of him doing something he usually does just for me or his parents for these women. AIBU?

OP posts:
Lifeisarealchallenge · 15/10/2024 14:56

So if he wasn't cooking for these women would you be OK with his friendship with them?

Original poster
Kendra43 · 15/10/2024 14:54

elizzza · 15/10/2024 14:52

It might help you to think through what you’re actually worried about. Is it genuinely that you think cooking should only be done for a partner or close relatives - so you’d feel the same if he was talking about cooking for a male friend, or a couple?

I suppose I wouldn't feel the same if he was cooking for a make friend or a couple.

I only cook for him and wouldn't cook for a make friend. That's me though.

OP posts:
TartfulRidesAgain2 · 15/10/2024 14:54

Cooking and eating together is a social thing rather than something you only do for specific people. Are you concerned they might want pudding?

PinkArt · 15/10/2024 14:53

Yes, really unreasonable. It's cooking for a couple of friends. He won't have friends if he has to say that he can't cook for people because it's 'a special thing he just does for his girlfriend and his parents' because they will rightly think that sounds unhinged.

SBHon · 15/10/2024 14:53

Unfortunately I'm quite a jealous person
Work on making yourself better OP, not holding your partner down.

ThisBlueCrab · 15/10/2024 14:53

Sorry you are being weird. There is nothing wrong with him cooking for friends.

elizzza · 15/10/2024 14:52

It might help you to think through what you’re actually worried about. Is it genuinely that you think cooking should only be done for a partner or close relatives - so you’d feel the same if he was talking about cooking for a male friend, or a couple?

Catza · 15/10/2024 14:51

You know you are jealous, so work on that and don't try to control what your partner does. There will always be something that will make you feel jealous. The problem is you.

Original poster
Kendra43 · 15/10/2024 14:50

I view the cooking as something special he does for me and his closest relatives.

He only mentioned these women for the first time to me during the dinner. I can be jealous but I don't want him to be lonely and not have friends either.

OP posts:
ByTealShaker · 15/10/2024 14:48

I think the actual issue is that you’re in a long distance relationship and by your admittance a jealous type.

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